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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


SuperDave71
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Day 8. Prolly the hardest day so far. I hate Saturday nights in by myself.

 

 

Oh bless! Listen to some good music and/or watch TV. Read a book? Study a new subject? Relax on the sofa...I am sure you will not be alone for too long. Besides being alone is not that bad. You only have one person to annoy you then, and that is yourself

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Leave it another two months then- Change your phone number. Eliminate the person from your life.

 

knowing him he wont ever contact me (directly) anymore so no more hoping, really haha

 

cant change phone number since it's too much hassle for work and clients, never really expect anything from him anyway

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It's just depressing that being a great person is sometimes just not enough...

 

It is a shame that being a great person is sometimes just not enough...

Not depressing.

 

Be patient. Some day you will meet someone as nice as you and who deserves you I am sure.

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knowing him he wont ever contact me (directly) anymore so no more hoping, really haha

 

cant change phone number since it's too much hassle for work and clients, never really expect anything from him anyway

 

Are you sure your reasons above for not changing your number are not just exuses to allow contact to him.

Look within youself sweet. You know you dont need that bastard in your life.

If he will never make any effort to contact you directly then you can summarise him as a

a) coward

b) time waster

c) not even worth your friendship

d) and loser -

 

It is his loss for not wanting to be with you.

It really is!

 

Stay positive xxx

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Guys it is my DAY 4- after a nervous breakdown yesterday, and going offline completely I feel much better today. This is the only place I am available for contact online lol -perhaps he is also posting stuff about me on this forum lol I wish....

Anyway, I had a good nights sleep. I woke up wanting to wake up next to him. I miss him. But I miss happiness not HIM. I think I deluded myself. I think he manipulated me. He was a physcologist by the way. What a nightmare. I will get better. I have no needs to contact him, but I am waiting for his contact. When two months have lapsed I shall start panicking...Why is do we do this to ourselves?

 

Well at least I am trying to smile today. I am alone but I am trying to make myself entertained somehow...

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For those of you here on a break, don't go NC until all the rules and conditions are set and you've both dicussed your feelings thoroughly, and even then give it a week or two to mull over via. LC.

 

You'll be able to tell when NC is needed after that, it's when you start communicating your ups and downs to each other, and that's going to ruin everything very quickly - that, you have to deal with without them, that's the point.

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DAY 5- I am feeling a bit better, hardly slept and kept waking up through the night but managed to fall asleep eventually. I would feel much better if only I could find some peace and rest at night. Because I am fed up of my own pathetic behaviour and because of constant feeling sorry for myself, I decided to look sexy today...

 

But still

 

*sighs... looking good does not mean feeling good!

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day 40 something i cried again this morning because i stupidly read old messages, why? because shes so distant from me i wanted to check if it was ever real. i feel like a detective trying to break down her last message to make 'sense' of it. 40+ days on and i still cant get over it, still no contact. i've realised theres no point in my initiating contact anyway because 1. she isnt interested and 2. she ignores me anyway. i keep telling myself i did everything i could and was who i am but it just wasnt enough for her but mostly i regret being bitter and not just leaving it. my mind has too many continuing thoughts all going round at once, just to hear her i say i miss you would just at least make me think what i did for her was appreciated and that she did really love my company. for someone to disappear and just want to get away from you makes me feel horrible, especially when you gave that person your time, your effort and everything you had. i am so lonely, tired and depressed i just cant take it anymore.

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I had my phone switched off this morning, when I switched it back on I saw a voicemail. I thought it was from him and I was anxious to hear it, BUT it was not ](*,) and I could feel my heart break again. Why do I do this to myself. He is not worth it.

 

Why am I even wasting my valuable time expecting his calls.

 

I am going to change my mobile number now, at least then I know, he will never call...

 

I am so fed up of all this...I cannot wait to meet someone else and fall in love again!

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It gets better with time trust me. Just find something else to occupy your mind and attention. Ban music for a while, because music instigates... feelings...Watch comedy, or cartoons...Go to the gym- do some boxing punching the bag helps...you have a lot of anger in you, it needs to come out somehow, that is why you are feeling depressed..

 

Some people prefer to be around friends, I prefer to be left alone. I spend a lot of time alone, I take long walks into woods, I go cycling and enjoy nature. I realise this is MY battle and I must deal with it myself. Different people advise different things, as if to confuse you even more...you have enough of complex feelings as it is. You hear want you want to hear, so some people's advice does not help...be careful. Distance yourself from everyone for a while, take some space for yourself and think carefully - do you really want to waste your life on someone who is ignoring you and does not want to be with you. There is plenty more fish in the sea. She is not worth it. I know exactly how you might be feeling, you feel terrible because she is ignoring you, you feel as though you are a bad person because of it, but you are not. She just chose to ignore you and she is at liberty to do so...for various reasons we dont know the reasons she does.

 

You have a responsibillity to yourself, and yourself only.

Do not distress yourself with imagining, many fears are borne from fatigue and loneliness....Look after yourself.

 

Good luck x

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Ok, so I'm back to...day..um...I lost track.

 

It's either day two now, or day three. I think day two, if today is indeeed a Monday. Yes, I do believe it is. My last message to her was Saturday, it was good for putting nails in the coffin and putting a lot of uneasiness to rest.

 

I feel great today.

 

I went through my computer looking at old pictures and old files. I'm keeping the albums of my life as they are, as this is a part of my life that has past. I also ran into a number of old documents that I wrote and saved during past breakups. That alone was a very reinforcing activity, because it highlighted many of the issues I have had with her over the years. In the end, she is set in her ways and the world be damned she's going to live her path exactly as she wishes. I am so very better off without her.

 

I visited her Myspace page last night. It was a very good experience because her status helped cement all over again jsut how gone she is. She's in the throbs of her new relationship, in a way that makes me laugh when I think about how once we were int hat same spot. Now I seem to remember the first crash happening about two months after we started dating. I wish her the best, but I do hope that man has kept his dating insurance current!!

 

I resurrected my music collection off of my old computer. It took 6 hours to transfer it to my laptop with a 1 GB jump drive, blasted 1.0 USBs on that old computer!! It took 30 minutes for each transfer that took a little under two minutes on my new laptop. I am now resolute in my decision to upgrade to new computers, it's a smart idea when you have file counts in the GB and TB domains!!

 

But now I have it, and it's so good to hear it again. Floyd, RHCP, aerosmith, Def leppard, Blue Oyster Cult, Weird Al, there's a lot there. There's still much I don't have, but once I get in the service I'm going on an album buying spree!!

 

Anyhow, all is well that ends well. And today, my relationship has ended well. I'm still not friends with her, and I will not be giving her that satisfaction for at least a year. So that means September 2010 I might be more considerate of her!

 

I have stuff to do today, and then tomorrow I should have a lot of hard work to do. If I am good, i will do 40 hours of work in the next four days. that wouls be IDEAL!

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Lonewing, it's great to hear you sounding so upbeat and resolved about everything. So happy for you.

 

Nature, and others who may be having trouble with sleep: My doctor prescribed a low dose, old generation anti-depressant for sleep called Pamelor and it's helped me immensely. I just take it if I feel the need---there's no ramping up or weaning. I've experienced no side effects. It's very mild, but it does help me sleep, my sleep is not filled with nightmares, and I wake up in a good mood. I highly recommend it.

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Day 54.

 

Didn't see the ex at the party yesterday. He didn't show. Pretty sure he didn't have any other plans so the only conclusion I can come up with is that he didn't want to run into me.

 

I wasn't disappointed or anything. I can recall a night at the bowling alley maybe a week or so after the break up. He didn't show and I was crushed. Yesterday I still enjoyed myself and was happy that I took the opportunity to hang out with my friends even though I knew there was a chance he could be there.

 

Don't know about the party on Saturday. The new guy I'm seeing told me yesterday he has to work that night so he won't be able to come with me. Sad face.

 

Is it wrong of me to be bothered that I haven't heard from the ex in almost 2 months? I remember the last time we broke up and it took nearly 3 months and the only reason was because it was my birthday. I wasn't doing "NC" back then because I didn't know there was such a thing. I'm also bothered that he is avoiding me at these social gatherings. If I, the dumpee, can brave it, shouldn't he be able to?

 

Side note: At the party I was talking to some people that helped me through the last break up my ex and I had. They all said that for being not even 3 months in that I am doing AMAZINGLY better than the last time. I agree. I told them that I feel like he is going to come back like all of the other times... but I fear that this time it will be too late for him.

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Today marks the 5th month of NC for me. I will say even though I still think about my EX on occasion I am going on with my life. Sure we all have weak moments and yesterday was one, but I will never contact her because I know it won't change a thing. She is apparently happy with her new bf doing all the things we were supposed to do together. Oh well life goes on,

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Lonewing - I love Def Leppard!!!!

 

Today is Day 1 for me. I emailed him last night. But I feel good about it. Things that needed to be said. I actually can say I feel done now.

 

(we broke up 6/08/09) then LC for a week, then NC for 2 months, then some LC since then).

 

I know definitively that this will be the last time I reach out to him.

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DAMN- Just broke my NC rule. I could kick myself. ](*,)

 

definitely not worth it. Making the same mistake over and over again.

I just have to accept I cannot run away from this guy. NOT NOW!

 

So yes it is back to DAY ONE for me! and yet its only been four days...

 

I think I have an obsession, and my compulsion to contact him cannot be controlled. Bloody hell dont know what to do!

 

Should I go to the doctors? And say what exactly?

 

I seriously need to pull myself together.

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DAMN- Just broke my NC rule. I could kick myself. ](*,)

 

definitely not worth it. Making the same mistake over and over again.

I just have to accept I cannot run away from this guy. NOT NOW!

 

So yes it is back to DAY ONE for me! and yet its only been four days...

 

I think I have an obsession, and my compulsion to contact him cannot be controlled. Bloody hell dont know what to do!

 

Should I go to the doctors? And say what exactly?

 

I seriously need to pull myself together.

 

 

Hey, it's OK!!

 

Now it's time to just start over again!

 

One thing that helps? Learn to laugh at yourself! I laughed at myself when I broke my NC rule. A sense of humor helps out in so many situations, particularly those that are just so utterly and logically ridiculous, it always comes in handy!!

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