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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


SuperDave71
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Tomorrow will be 1 week since I mailed you my letter. I wonder if you've read it and what you thought about it. This week will be 8 weeks since you broke up with me. Have you met the new and exciting person you were hoping for? I signed up for a fun event near where you live. Reclaiming the spot. I had been going there long before I met you. Just hope I don't somehow see you there on a date. So at day 6 now...

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My partner of a year and half break up with me and a week after return with baby daddy. She left our house without even having a conversation with me and have refused to talk to me at all. I stop contacting her after she admitted to be back with him a week ago, but since I'm still in her apartment (I need time to move to another apartment with all of the furniture as she don't want to keep them at all). These two past week she got in contact with a friend of mine saying that she wants her apartment back and me out, the two times that she contact my friend was when she saw picture on Facebook of me and a girl at the apartment "Having fun" (cooking, dancing, etc)

 

I started the NC on Monday did feel good those days, but yesterday (our month anniversary) felt the necessity to see her picture and went back to depression, seeing her happy, doing her life without me, while I'm here with hopes. So, I'm going to start today the NC and my NC plan includes not visiting her Facebook website and asking or talking about her at all. I'm going to also delete my Facebook website as she created a new one and we have some common friends, the plan is disappeared completely! Let see what happen and will keep you guys updated.

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Why did you have to sound so nice and caring in your reply to my letter? So annoying that you still are acting like such a nice guy. How could you do what you did yet be this caring, nice guy. I just don't get it. I know it's totally over. Wonder if no response would have been better. Ugh, I hate that I still care

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I've been visiting her Facebook and Instagram, just to check what's shes up to. Very bad! I noticed that she unblocked me from Instagram, my profile is public. Just recently moved from our apartment (She left first to be back with baby daddy). Its very hard to accept reality, to accept that you though that you had a family but you had nothing and you just are a miserable person that was used until she got tired. Today Im going to start NC again that's including not visiting her Facebook and Instagram. Lets see how long I last!

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Day #3 since I replied to his text. 9 weeks since he broke up with me via text. Wonder when I will stop counting...I'm sure I'm just a distant thought. Probably only thought of me when my letter arrived and then when he replied by text. Does he have awesome holiday plans with a new girlfriend? Has she met his friends and family already? Don't want to think about him and what he is doing. Trying to redirect my thoughts. They seem to be a tiny bit less these days...some progress.

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I accept. Im on day 2 and it is really tough today. We have been broke up for almost 2 weeks now. We have had contact since but nothing about the relationship. It has all been trying to be friends banter. She doesn't deserve my friendship to make herself feel better. I really do still love her so much but I know I have to let go. Especially with the habitual things we did. I hope this thread makes it easier. I have been using the thread 'post here instead of to your ex'. I'm trying everything but I found the best is encouragement from the members here.

Thanks for this

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I accept. Im on day 2 and it is really tough today. We have been broke up for almost 2 weeks now. We have had contact since but nothing about the relationship. It has all been trying to be friends banter. She doesn't deserve my friendship to make herself feel better. I really do still love her so much but I know I have to let go. Especially with the habitual things we did. I hope this thread makes it easier. I have been using the thread 'post here instead of to your ex'. I'm trying everything but I found the best is encouragement from the members here.

Thanks for this

 

You doing okay?

 

All that talk is just trying to keep a thread between you. As much as it hurts, it really is better to let it go, which I suppose you will do in toto when you are ready. No judgment from me about that, as I am the queen of keeping threads, as being a sort of collector of people.

 

An interesting observation that may somehow trigger something for you as you work through this change: I found that clearing out things from my home that I can donate to charity etc coincides with the clarity and ability to let go of people. This leads me to.draw some parallels, and suggests that threads that connect to a past and not to a future are clutter.

 

Clutter represents delayed decision making. The sooner you make a decision about clutter, the sooner you have that clarity that comes from clean tables, clean closets, and open spaces in your rooms (and head/heart/schedule).

 

I am glad Ena is helpful to you. Has been transformative for me.

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I have nothing left of hers around me. Not sure if you read my OP but I even quit my job because we were team drivers also and there were way too many memories in that truck. Plus all that windshield time left me with nothing but my thoughts. It killed me inside and I would drift off. 80k lbs of uncontrolled steel wasn't good for anyone. The only place she has a presence In now is my heart and mind. Your insight is very helpful. I OP in breakup titled what to do. I also have one In healing g after breakup plus one "this hole is Killing me" and " much better today". Guess that one was premature. I just want to be me again and the biggest thing for me is I don't even know if it was tough on her!

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Back to 1 week NC. Now it feels like it's been so long since we've seen each other...did it really happen?...hope this means time is doing its thing. Of course did wonder over the holiday if he was having fun by the water with his new whatever (date, gf, ex, ?). Had a mellow weekend which didn't help imagining him having such a fun time and me totally forgotten for good. No plans ever to contact on my end that's for sure. I never even received a drunk thinking about you text, that's how little he must of thought of me (lol sorta). sigh

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6 months NC. I've been thinking about and missing him a lot lately. But I'm all the wiser now and I know that he is not worth it. He doesn't deserve me and never will. I'm losing hope, but maybe one day I'll find someone who will..

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Day 1 :

 

I finally make up my mind.

I am hurt by looking at her instagram and facebook, it cause too much pain for me to know how she is going.

So I tell myself, why should I care if she doesn't?

Its right, I should focus more on myself because I know when that day come, she knows she fxxked up

 

Have a nice day with that boy, don't come back to me when he hurts you like shxts.

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Day 1 :

 

I finally make up my mind.

I am hurt by looking at her instagram and facebook, it cause too much pain for me to know how she is going.

So I tell myself, why should I care if she doesn't?

Its right, I should focus more on myself because I know when that day come, she knows she fxxked up

 

Have a nice day with that boy, don't come back to me when he hurts you like shxts.

 

NEVER look at her social media. It is one of the Golden Rules of No Contact! Why torture yourself? Always be aware people tend to post smiley, happy posts on social media to look good in front of their friends. Do not for a second think that what someone says on FB reflects their genuine authentic self.

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Day #3 since I replied to his text. 9 weeks since he broke up with me via text. Wonder when I will stop counting...I'm sure I'm just a distant thought. Probably only thought of me when my letter arrived and then when he replied by text. Does he have awesome holiday plans with a new girlfriend? Has she met his friends and family already? Don't want to think about him and what he is doing. Trying to redirect my thoughts. They seem to be a tiny bit less these days...some progress.

 

You need to stop any further contact with this man. 100% NC of any type or you will be in agony for months. Letters - like you sent to - are nearly always a disaster and make things worse, not better. If he texts you again ignore it. The only possible text you should respond to if you still want hm in your life is something that clearly conveys an apology and him clearly stating he wants to get back together with you. You can then explore this if you want to. You should not reply to ANY other messages. And yes, "I miss you", "I love you", "I want you", "Sorry we had to end".... All this is BS. The only thing you should respond to is a clear message of reconciliation. NOTHING else. You should think of yourself as a catch and you want a man who feels you are too

 

You need to disappear from his life 100% and put it behind you and chalk it up to experience. If he comes back then reevaluate then and share with us on this forum for advice. I know how hard it is, I am doing this myself and I am 14 weeks into NC since my ex text dumped me. It hurts. It still does. I miss her terribly.

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It is difficult to think that though we never dated officially, I need no contact from you. Limerence is a beast that has been tearing me up. I hope that things will subside in time so we can be back to what we were; I don't know though. I know you may never understand what I'm going through.

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Day 31.

Today is a bad day. How is it that I feel worse today than I did two weeks ago? I am physically moving on but my heart still hurts. We have never been this long without speaking. Does he miss me? Has he had his fill of f*cking around yet? Will he ever want me back? I know we won't speak again, but knowing it hurts so much. I just want to know if he's even thinking about me.. How can he just toss out two years like that?

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2 weeks since final NC...almost 3 months since I've seen you. Do you even remember anything about me or am I totally wiped out of your thoughts...counting the days to go out of town and away from anything that reminds me of you. Sick of even my things reminding me of you, things you said about them etc. I refuse to get rid of my own stuff just to erase you...sigh :sad:

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi guys,

I'm on Day 2 of the NC challenge!

I stated to my ex that we were going NC for at least a month...it's for him as much as for me.

We went our separate ways due to a lot of not so good things happening in his life at the moment.

But when his father died in February, it started to really go downhill. He ended it a few weeks ago.

He just can't deal with the responsibility of a relationship and is suffering from bad anxiety.

So, he needs this space too. I can't bear the thought of my presence causing more stress on him.

Although he's far too kind to say that. He's a good guy.

So here we go, DAY TWO. Let's hope I don't crack

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