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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


SuperDave71
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Yeh i am very used to the weather here lol I am English, we like to complain about the weather, its one of our things he he he

 

 

Yup, So I have noticed and you are not the first one to point that out

 

p.s. Why do i have this bad feeling there is a setback coming my way. Weird.

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you all have such interesting places to travel too, i live in australia, dust dust and more dust, boring states.. I'm thinking a move accross the world would be awesome. texas. hmm never thought about that. cowgirl....
Australia is somewhere i would love to visit!

 

Bondi beach

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I've been slacking. So far it's been a week, there were a few times he'd contacted me trying to create small talk. I also had to retrieve my things from him, and in that process of retrieval, he'd given me a really big, tight hug. Not the kind you give just a friend, or a family member. I can't explain it. I feel like this is full of mixed signals.

 

Either way, it's been a week. I feel a lot better, I just have moments where life feels empty inside. It's hard to do, and he's left me alone as I have done him, but it doesn't mean I don't think about, or miss his companionship constantly...

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Right back to day 1 for me damnit. I feel like ramming my head into a wall. She texted me on day 12. Nothing big, just a comment of something she saw that reminded me of her. I waited a day and gave in. Short silly reply. I hate myself.

 

I was happy to know something reminded her of me. But I ****ing hate it at the same time. I was doing well. Now, she's on my mind again.

 

I guess we all have set backs. I guess we all make mistakes. I'm more concerned that my head is going to start playing tricks on me again and tell me she still has interest.

 

I needed to write this....hope everyone of you have a great day.

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attempt 2, day 1.

 

it's funny... for the past month and a half i've defended him endlessly... i've said things like "it would be so much easier if he was an ******* about it"... because at the time i thought he wasnt. i found out, he was... i was just ignorant to it. i've known now for about 2 weeks that when he ended things, after a two week period of being distant and seeming really unhappy, he was concealing that he had started to see someone else. all i ever asked of him was honesty, and for him to be up front with me about where he stood... and i know now, that for two weeks, he didn't have the courage to tell me. he still didn't tell me when we called things off, and instead he said i would just get annoyed with him if things continued. i feel now like he didn't think it was something i could handle, and he felt the need to protect me from it or something... but what hurts more is that he didn't think he could tell me, and i don't know why he felt that way or what was going through his head at the time... but it's complete bull****. there is nothing more painful, in my opinion, than being lied to... regardless of whether it's coming from a place of kindness. deceit is deceit, and it's not something i forgive easily or forget.

 

then, after making his decision, he thinks it's okay to spend the next month and a half flirting with me every day, hugging and touching me at every opportunity, complimenting my appearance and making comments about certain... ahem, assets. hell no.

i finally snapped last week... he said something that i found incredibly offensive, disrespectful and quite frankly... just awful in general. he had no idea that something like that could possibly have the effect on me that it did, but i have never in my life felt more worthless. i ensured he knew this too, and since, i've felt more liberated than i have in the past two months. i don't think he expected me to call him out on it, and i truthfully don't believe any girl has stood up to him in that way before... as his reaction was that of complete shock and disbelief. he was left without anything to say, and that suited me perfectly. there was nothing that he could say at that point.

 

i'm happy to say that he didn't flirt with me today, and i did not initiate any contact. i tried to make it pretty clear that contact was not a priority for me anymore, and though i will keep the lines of communication open, i'm no longer dependent on his friendship or the prospect of a reconciliation in the future. we did have some small exchanges here and there, but it was obvious that he knew something was different... and that's a good thing, he needs to know he can't treat me the way he has been and that if he wants me in his life, as he claims to, he's going to have to make some changes.

 

i love the person that he is, but he chooses not to be... and until he figures out that the only way he's going to be happy is by being true to himself, i can't allow myself to hold on to him. i need to move on, because up until now he had his cake and he got to eat it to. i was providing him with all of the emotional comforts of a girlfriend, but he was getting the physical somewhere else... and that's not fair to me, nor is it fair to her.

 

who knows, maybe one day down the road he'll figure it out... but i can't wait around and allow myself to be his emotional cushion when it's only a benefit to him... and i'm sacrificing part of me to make him feel complete. he needs to feel incomplete for a bit.

 

 

here's to hoping very limited contact/no contact is what's best... for both of us. i feel like for the first time i'm able to see things clearly, and i know how i want to be treated... and i'm not settling for anything less.

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Day 17 or Day 3

 

Bad night as far as sleeping goes, I have woken up multiple times, feeling restless. I have this weird feeling like this is all that is going to be between us two. Nothing more and that I am the one who's making this seems like it's bigger than it really was. I don't know, perhaps I should just let it be. But somehow I feel that there is more too it or at least that I can't do anything about it but to let time pass and see what happens.

 

All right. Lets get on with the day.

 

@gotanewbeat, its hard to be around the exes, since there are still emotions involved and when you think you are selling yourself short. Like you said LC/NC is the best way at the moment.

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Cheers g3 xxx

 

If i could pack up and leave i would bugger off to Texas

 

Find me a cowboy and live on a beautiful ranch, spend evenings sitting on the porch, on a swinging chair watching the sunset...ahhhhhhh bliss.

 

 

I love England but this constant grey sky and rain is pissing me off. Its supposed to be summertime! lol

We're in a heatwave here. It didn't help me, I can tell you. I was feeling terrible the first week and I couldn't tell if it was me or the heat.... lol.

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Day 1

 

On a slow down type of break. Told semi-ex bf no contact for several days or a week. Hope I can stick to a week. Accept the NC challenge here. Will count the days everyday here.

 

So much pain in the chest. Could not even breath. Did only 2 meals for 2 days. First day of my new job in a new city of a new country. Life is pretty cruel to me (or my semi-ex bf is cruel/immature?..) ALMOST called him today... But will try hard to stick to NC.

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Hello Sunnywinter,

 

GL with NC challenge,

currently you are in a very emotional state, so all the symptoms are there, but try not to let the interfere with you mind, you know.

And I see there are a lot of new things happening ( new job / new country ) so focus on that.

Keep your head up.

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Day 28 i guess, had a party yesterday and it was really awesome, spoke about my ex with some people and pretty much my whole family is disgusted by my ex cause of what she has done to me, that feels great, it's time to let the small hope of her coming back one day go, it's no use and if she does come back one day then i'll see it by then.

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