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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


SuperDave71
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Day 15

 

Isnt this supposed to get easier as the days go by?

 

I am feeling crap today, i am back to aching for him, i am missing him so much tonight.

 

Im missing him more than ever. I want him to contact me so badly, just a hello..anything.

 

I am back to panicking that he really has forgotten me, he really has moved on, he really doesnt love me anymore, he really is happy with her. I am back to feeling nervous about life ahead without him. Back to thinking, '' What about me? What do i do now? How do i go forward without him?''

 

I dreamt about him last night, such a weird dream.

 

We were in a house and there was some sort of armed raid going on, men with balaclavas and guns shooting up the place and anyone who they came accross. It was chaos, people screaming, hiding, running, dying.

 

I was hiding under a table, he was running past and he saw me, i called out to him ..''Help me'' He hesitated, he face was saying that he didnt want me to slow him down, he really wasnt sure if he should help me or carry on... but he did reach out for my hand. Then i woke up.

 

What the hell does that mean? Id love a dream interpreter to analise that one for me.

 

I am guessing it means he doesnt want me hanging around his neck like some dead weight, holding him back from his new life. It made me feel pretty down.

 

15 days and not a peep, nothing.

 

This is depressing.

 

I hope you guys are having a better day than i am. xxx

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Day 11

 

Today has been a really bad day for me. My fractured knuckle that I got from punching my bedroom wall after finding out about my ex and her new guy just got worse after football practice. Urgh. And the downcast weather didn't help to lighten the mood either.

 

I love her, and I hate her. Will she ever learn her lesson, or will she keep digging a deeper hole? I won't know. Time will tell, but I'm not gonna waste my time waiting on her.

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Day 26, nothing special, met a wonderful free spirited young lady yesterday at the festival i was at, she's pretty cool and she comes from Australia, that's on the other side of the world for me (the Netherlands).

I asked her out and she said yes so i'm excited!

 

Hope you all have a great day today!

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Hi Its Me, thats what i do every morning, wake up look at my phone get sad that she hasn't contacted me in any way, even though i don't want to talk to her i still do it, its not until later in the day she messages me, and about random things, i also got some of the same information about a holiday from my ex's mother. (read down for more)

 

blondie, yeah i thought it was supposed to get easier and easier as days went on, I'm finding that i can have an ok day and then a day that just puts me in the dumps, i share ur missing and aching for ur ex, as its a cold night and a movie was on that both my GF and i sat and watched a few times, i felt almost destroyed and couldn't finish watching it.

 

its really his loss if he has forgotten you, and thinks that you have just stopped caring, he maybe happy with her now, i tell you i think that everyday but i also know that its just a phase(so i keep telling myself) that they are just in the first stages and don't really know each other, once that happens then thats when it goes down hill for them. we know our ex's and we know their good and bad, if they are just trying to show the good, then the bad will come out in time.

 

sorry to hear about the dream, i have no idea what to make of that, nor do i of mine.

 

skheehee, sorry to hear about your bad day, i guess we are all having them atm, the knuckle must hurt, but I'm sure its a pain you are thinking its worth dealing with, it will remind you that what she has done hurts you so much, that you can use that to move on to help and remind you.

 

will she learn from her lesson, time will tell, if we know our ex's and they are doing this out the ball park crazy stuff that is just not them, then we can tell they are just digging themselves a hole, i know mine is and when it hits her, she's going to be on the floor hard wondering it what just happened the past whatever months,years its been going on..

 

NjoyStick, good to hear you met someone, i know it feels good to connect with someone new australia? thats my country must be a sign if she came all the way from here and you come accross her that its gotta be a good thing, hope it all works out in the future with her.

 

my ex's BF is coming to visit apparently in a couple of weeks, her mother had no idea about this and was furious when i told her(not knowing she didn't know), my ex obviously hasn't told her for some reason, she did tell her that she had planned on going for a holiday with this new guy to a place we had planned for many years together just because he lived not that far from there and she had somewhere close by our holiday spot to stay, i have been getting messages about a website that she buys her clothes and lingerie off, she was asking me what i thought of certain items, now A) i really didn't want to know she was getting this stuff cause if he's visiting and it was just obvious why she was getting it. B) i got no idea why she would be asking me for my opinion on the items, now she is getting items in red, my FAV colour, she knows this, and the style of items she's getting is exactly something i would of picked for her. it gets me why she would be asking me and not this other guy for opinions, i haven't replied to her yet in 4 days, and she is still messaging me, i would of thought after 4 days she would of realised I'm not contacting her and maybe thought why i haven't. later on that night she ask me what my plans were for the weekend that was saturday , now since our break up she hasn't asked something like that..

 

I'm starting to wonder if she's asking me cause she wants me to go over, i had a long conversation with her mother and she said that she's been unhappy and bored, snappy and miserable talking to her new BF on the phone and that, and she talks to me as if she's happy as larry, her mother said she thinks she's starting to get the picture that this new guy is nothing like me and that my presence is missed beyond belief, that my ex seems happier while I'm around.

 

now i can't just go WOO and go over there like nothing has happened, i really want to, but I'm trying to be strong and not just buckle at the thought that she may want to talk to me, it could be just attention, i went over there once and thought that things might work out, boy was i wrong ended up in a big argument cause i wouldn't lie to her about her being fat.. tell the truth she thinks I'm lying tell a lie still things I'm lying lose/lose situation.

 

so yesterday(sunday) not a word from her, i was feeling good about my other night with friends and this nice women i met. and on the other hand yesterday i felt forgotten that my ex hadn't contacted me, and instantly i thought "oh oh she thinks i don't care anymore and has stopped messaging me", i went into a panic thinking what do i do, then i just thought if she thinks that then her loss, she knows my feelings and if she thinks i'll be over her that easy then she doesn't know me at all.

 

so i decided to in bed all day, I've lost all sense of what day I'm on, i think its now day 5 as of 12:30am. i'll have to check,

 

Day 4(sunday)

stayed in bed all day, felt horrible, lost, sad, watched a few movies, fell asleep, woke up watched a few more, had a cry, fell asleep again had a dream about my ex.

 

the dream..

it started with a phone call from her asking me to come over to hang out, i was happy and decided to go over, i get there and she said we need to talk, i was scared to hear what she was going to say.

she said she wanted to try again and give us a chance, that she was sorry how she cheated on me, how she lost control of her mind and went and did all this crazy stuff she was doing because she could not handle what we had been through and wanted a complete change in her life.

 

i was like umm ok, so u dump me and go out with this complete douche who you obviously know is just the opposite to me in every way to get away from a bad situation?. she said yes she was very sorry and that she had realised how she had made a stupid choice, i could not believe what i as hearing, if that was me she'd be serving me left right and center, id get away with NONE of that.i ask her why the change of heart, knowing u can't just stop feeling for someone and go back to loving someone else u just dumped if u made the choice in the first place to dump them, she told me that she didn't know what she was doing it all happened so fast, that she just liked the attention he was giving her.

 

i was in shock, wondering with is going on, i said if this is what u want have u told him, does he know you don't want to be with him and want to be with me again, she said not yet, I'm like well u need to tell him and prove to me that you want to try again and that its genuine not just a thought oh no this isn't working out i'll go back to me and see if he'll take me before i dump the new guy.

 

she ask how, i said thats for you to prove to me, she said well i'll add you back to Facebook, take her relationship status off, call him and tell him while i was there. i said ok but after that we need to talk, and i mean talk not just get back onto our lives like nothing happened, she said ok, so she did all these things, and as crying and that when she called this guy, i got no idea why she would cry telling him if she had no feelings for him anymore, this when i thought is she really being truthful to me is this some game she's playing i don't know, she did what she said she would and i was happy that she kept to her word, i trusted her just a little for that.

 

so we started talking and i was asking why did she dump me why did she not talk to me about it before just making a decision one day, now in-between here i got no idea what was said my dreams tend to miss a lot of things and jump around.

once it was over i hugged her, and said i had to go home, she was crying and squeezing me, i didn't have a feeling like i had said something like no thanks i don't want to try, i had a happy feeling in my heart, i think her tears were of joy, i really can't tell though.

 

so i had walked out and i was home next i knew it, i got a message from her saying, i miss you already hope you come back soon, i missed you hugs and kisses they kept me warm.

 

after this i woke up, and realised it was just a dream and thats when i looked at my phone hoping something was on there but it wasn't, this is when i decided to stay in bed.. I've lost what day it is, my sleeping routine is way off what is has been i'll have to look back on my original post and see if i got my days right.

 

sorry if i missed a reply to anyone.

 

C.E

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Damn, C.E. it sound like you have excellent memory as for the dreams, thats some crazy stuff, because i know how realistic dreams can be, and once we wake up and reality hits it's just: " What the f***?! ". Been there done that, as i am sure others have too.

 

Njoy, glad to hear that, a distraction is a distraction and if it's a cool gal, awesome.

 

Skheehee, punching a wall? Familiar. Its been a while since I have done that, but there were just too many holes in the wall ( not concrete, just so y'all no, he ) so punching bag is a great alternative.

 

So today was supposed to be Day 15, but I guess I should stop counting and go back to the start.

 

Yes Houston we had a contact and just to be clear I wasn't the one who started, not that it matters i guess Anyway.

She sent a msg in the afternoon, just how she is finishing her holiday and all that, just what she has been up to and that she hopes I am enjoying myself and taking it easy.

I replied a few hours later, since I didn't have it with me, and then we exchanged a few more msgs over the next few hours, practically talking about random everyday stuff, keeping it casual.

It did felt good, i admit. Am I a sucker? Maybe

 

So first to clarify, i am not apologizing her, Its just that after some time at my hometown I guess I can say that the BU wasn't a drastic one, blaiming or harsh words or anything, so I thought to myself, Ok, so we are here, what happened happened, It is what it is. Let me work on myself, And go on, and we will see what happens.

 

Optimistic or a dreamer? I don't know, I can say that as far as us getting back together I don't have high hopes, as hope can be a b****, but I would be lying if I say that deep down I don't have it just a little bit. Perhaps I am trying to convince myself, but the way I see it is, I like talking to her, i am keeping it easy, I am not pushing, so Let's go with the flow.

 

Damn, after reading this even i am confused

Edited by g3m1nn1
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Hello guys and girls.

 

I'm on day 15 of NC. My girlfriend broke up with me the 2nd time. First time she kept contacting me and then wanted to see me and we got back together.

This time she said she wanted to break up, she didn't know why however. It came as a surprise to me as she had been making future plans.

She wants to keep me as a friend and keep seeing me in two environments we have in common. Then she messaged me the next day to see how I was and I answered politely. Probably I shouldn't have answered at all, or took more time to do so.

 

To avoid her I'm not attending the activity which would have seen us meeting often. The other one, well I will attend in 2 weeks time. I can't not attend as it's an important commitment.

I still have feelings but I'm trying to move on. It's not easy. She's going on a trip and me too after she's back so we can't run into each other before both are over. I didn't send her a message wishing her a good trip, as that would break my NC.

 

I'm going out, meeting new people, bought new clothes and changed my style, worked out.

I still would want to be with her, perhaps I'm stupid. I was a good boyfriend, helping her perhaps too much when she was in need.

I want to become a better person in this time and get on with my life whatever happens with her.

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Day 46.

Im dead inside.

 

In the book "It's Called a Breakup because It's Broken" the magical NC time period is 2 months. You're almost there and even if you still miss them which you will, be proud of yourself that you made it that long without speaking and that you don't really need them.

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my memory is really bad, yeah this dream really put me off.

 

thats good to hear that u had some contact, along as it didn't mess you up after it then its all good, sucker, aren't we all.

 

i understand ur situation, its a tough one, id say try not to get ur hopes up, i know i do and i just fall down. but giving up at all just isn't the way to go either, there is always a chance slim but a chance.

 

currently atm.. i am talking to my ex on the phone, she messaged me at 3am, asking if i was awake that she needed someone to talk to, that she knows she shouldn't be coming to me to talk about stuff but she has noone else.

i didn't reply thinking id just leave it, but then she called, then i started to worry like something was actually wrong or she was in a real bad way and NEEDED to talk.

 

i gave in and answered, i know i shouldn't but i had to check as it was a really late hour and she doesn't usual call me, EVER in 8 years never called me.

so i ask her wats wrong and she said she as lonely, that she was feeling really depressed and sad, i ask her why what was wrong what was she sad about, she said that just everything her life is boring she has noone to do anything with, i was thinking whose choice was that.. but i just on asking her why and what, she said just everything etc, i knew exactly it was she just didn't want to tell me..

 

when i finally said to her, so what has HE done to make u feel this way, she said who what, how did u know, I'm thinking are u serious, i know you.. she said that they had an argument, that he was looking at women in corsets, she got really mad at him like well.. tell me that and u expect me to be ok with it, now i know her, she's jealous when it comes to things like that.. she got mad at him and they had a big argument, he tried to cover it up like he was doing it cause he wanted to buy her something,

she said yeah sure thats what it was, knowing this guy she knows what he's like, he tried to tell her that he was talking with a friend about underwear.. she knows his friends, or at least his female friends and the type of woman they are, she got really pissy at him and said well if u wanna talk to ur "friends" then go talk to them, now i know this guy and his the type to just flirt with girls and call it "fun".

 

she said that she didn't trust him but she also thought she over reacted, i said well i know him and to me its like he's covering it up, she knows this and is trying to believe his not like that when she knows..

they also had a big argument about him moving here, she didn't want him to she said NO DONT!, i ask why she couldn't give me an answer, tbh i think she knows that she's no serious about him, she's having second thoughts or something along those lines.

she said she likes him but she had decided to not talk to him because it was easier as she didn't want to have a "friendship" with someone so far away, and he got rally mad at her cause he's giving her all this BS about oh i'll move, i get a house a job etc etc.

 

so instantly he's going to get a house,job etc in a state he has no idea about, knows nothing of this place, and has no friends. he's giving her all this i'll do anything for you and she sounds like she's just getting overwhelmed.

 

I've been on the phone to her for 2 hours now, we've talked about random stuff, what we had been doing, i told that i had spent a night with someone at dinner, she got all jealous, that was it for that topic lol, i had said i had been busy, she said she hadn't been doing anything thats why she felt so down, she tried to bring him up, id just dismiss it and move on with a new topic, i know she wants help with sorting stuff out with him, i really have nothing positive to say about it and she knows it.

 

atm we are just in a tired state that every few minutes well say something. its probably time to hang up as i can feel her trying to ask help on it and i really am getting quiet about it, she knows i hate him, but I'm not talking about it.

 

what do i do, do i talk to her about him to help or not. if i do it helps them, and i don't want that, if i don't it makes me look bad, if they don't sort it out they will just vanish, but i don't want to be the bad guy. i can't get my hopes up that i'll get back with her, as we've been talking she's told me things that she didn't like about me, that i care way too much that i overreact about her, if she says like now she's depressed that i panicked, I'm like sorry for caring too much, she said yeah its really annoying.

 

i have a feeling we won't get back together, it hurts and i don't wanna believe it, but i can hope. we are getting along atm she's talking to me like I'm me, but keeps bringing him into it i dunno what the go is with that, talking to me asking me stuff about her, about us, I'm trying to get answers without asking directly, maybe i can find what it was she didn't like and work on that and make her ssee i have changed.

 

i just gotta prepare myself for the worst at this point. i want them to break up i so do, but i don't want to be the one that does it.

 

WHAT TO DO!!

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Day 16

 

I dont really have much to say this evening, its day 16 and i thought id be so pleased with myself for getting this far but all i feel is the distance between us getting bigger. He has moved on and is happy, i am heart broken and grieving. I am not the mess i was on day 1 the first time, or even the second time so i have improved but i find that he is always there in my mind, wondering how he is, where he is, if he is ok, does he miss me, is he really happy with her, will i hear on the grapevine soon that they live together, engagement, baby and so on.... will he ever contact me, does he ever stop and think of me.... i am boring myself with this crap.

 

I wish i could turn off my mind.

 

Anyway, for someone who didnt have much to say i went on a bit hey?

 

Roll on day 17. xxx

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i give props to everyone who has made it past day 5, I'm a wreck, and I'm only in the early stage. my ex calling didn't mess me up like i thought it would i guess its some of the information that gave me a little hope.

 

NjoyStick thats kewl, im in NSW its good she wants to stay hope it works out.

 

just got off the phone to my ex, it went for 2h30mins. longest phone call I've had with her ever, she never calls me, or anyone for that matter, so for her to call me at such a late hour really puts me off and also makes me feel a little special.

 

having troubles with her current i cannot be happier, mean but true, she kept trying to bring him into the conversation like oh he said this and did this I'm like, i don't want to know about him he doesn't exist to me and i want to keep it that way, she got really silent, i said I'm not lying about it and you know my feelings on the matter, as she called cause she obviously wanted help on that matter i couldn't help and didn't want to, if he wants to dig his own grave I'm letting him.

 

i cannot decipher her, she says she doesn't like things about me in our relationship and I'm like i'll work on that thanks for bringing it to my attention i don't know what the problems were if u don't tell me, she kept asking me about an issue she thought she had, i said i had a feeling for many years and that i loved her no matter what it was, i took that it was apart of her and didn't think of it as a problem only another thing to love about her, now she was like ***, how can random anger, yelling, screaming, crying, and so on be something to love, i said that its apart of you and there is nothing that could do anything to change that even now after everything.

 

she went on like oh thats sweet thank you, in a really accepting tone, like she truly liked that i had said it.

 

as it ended with goodnight/morning as its 5:30 now. she said thanks for talking to me i didn't know who else to call to talk to, I'm like its ok I'm glad u called me first she said yeah me too, she said she would of called her BF but he was asleep, and that he probably wouldn't like what she had to say seeing as some of it was supposed to be about him.

 

i said well thats his position now, he's the one that ur supposed to talk to when ur feeling like this, she just said i don't feel that i can talk to him about this stuff, i said well u will have to soon or later cause this is apart of you he will have to accept and if he doesn't then he obviously doesn't like u that much, she said this is true, but she doesn't think he'd be able to help me.. i knew what that meant right there. that i knew how to deal with her and what to say.. if she isn't talking to this guy then i think she's not serious as she thinks she is about it, even though he's pushing to move here she doesn't want him to.

 

more ramble

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blondie, it is great that you have gotten this far, you will be thinking all those things about him for a while but they will change either getting back together or staying apart, i know i do and apparently its one of my biggest problems my ex has so i just found out. you miss him so much, its normal but it will get easier. my ex tell she that me missing her so much wondering what she's doing if she's ok and that makes her feel that i cannot spend time with her, that she feels weird when i go over there and that.

 

I'm trying to work on that, I'm not sure if your ex has the same outlook on things its hard to not care so much and be told its a problem a the same time.

 

we can't look at the their future and worry, it just hurts to much worry about today and getting through it.

 

you went on abit? did u see my post O.o i ramble.

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ok, so let me start by giving some advice i never followed, at least not the way i should, but i did get her out of my mind for the most part of these two days, just doing my thing or something like that ( i am still confused to be frank ).

 

Blondie, i too overthink things, this and that, all the questions you are asking yourself, but the thing is we don't know the answers, whatever we think is in our head. go with what you know and not what you assume. it's hard but try to get those thoughts out of the way.

 

I feel little bit a hypocrite, because i am saying this stuff and I am freaking the same, but let me tell you, that for example Yesterday i woke and was feeling fine, she was on my mind but it didn't bother me, I just let it slide. Turned on the radio and just started mumbling to a song and it helped, whatever to distract myself.

 

C.E., apparently you two have a lot of history, it is natural after such a long term RS, so its natural for a person to be firmly attached to his/her partner even with all the bad situations that have happened. So the way I see it it is not normal to just start ignoring your ex partner, if your mind is up for it. talking to her and being there for her, does not make a person look weak i think, it just proves that you care. Am i making sense? i don't know.

 

As for talking with her about him, now that's a tough one. you are gonna have to make this decision by yourself, but if I was in that kind of situation or even similar I think that talking about a guy who is with her, after you two broke up, is just messed up. Why? Because let's face it, you do have hope and you do love her and you do want to be there for her, but talking about him, can only make a sane person go "cho cho". And anyone can say differently, but in the end if you have feelings and want to be more than a friend than i guess thats a no no.

 

But like i said, you will know best. And I apologize if I said something that upset you.

I am "blabling" and i seem to be an expert

 

Edit: Since i took forever to reply, some things are now delayed

Edited by g3m1nn1
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I understand what you're going through C.E.

 

My ex started dating the biggest loser only a week after she dumped me, they act like this is the best thing in the world even though i know from her that she's not really that serious about it and to make matters worse she told me that i am the last person she will go to if she wants to talk to someone cause she has a BF and friends to talk to, pretty pathetic huh after 4 years...

 

Like she dumped everything about me... I was always there for her in good and bad times and now she's acting towards me like i'm some guy she knows from somewhere...

 

It's just so weird how things like this go, one moment you are her everything and the next moment she dumps you, goes to the first loser that gives her attention and she totally forgets i exist...

 

Same as all of the things she already did with him, weekend to a bungalow together, going to the movies, going out together and even going a week to Croatia in a few weeks... And they are together for just 2 months now...

We did all of these things in a time span of 2 years and ofcourse we did alot more in the 4 years that we were together...

 

Well... Maybe it's because she's immature, she's 20 and i'm 24 and she's very stubborn...

 

Ow well i don't know if we ever get back together, she told me she can't be with me anymore because of her new BF so if that really is her only reason next to the not in love but still love you and the spark is gone BS i dunno...

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Thanks CE

 

I am pleased with myself for reaching 16 days, i guess i thought it would get easier, not harder. My ex has no idea what i am thinking because we havent spoken in 16 days, our last chat was all about this and that and nothing at all. All very polite but no mention of us. His last words to me were, '' Catch up soon, take care xxxx'' ....

 

The time before when we spoke he told me he still loved me, he had made a terrible mistake being with her blah de blah, yet he is still with her.

 

I know him and i know he will not make contact, he is happy and he wont rock that boat.

 

I have to get past this, either that or just spend my life missing him.

 

 

 

Thanks g3....I am getting on with other things and sometimes he isnt in my head at all..then its like i remember that i am not thinking about him and wham! He is back in my head. The quiet times are the worse though, alone time. I cant be with people 24-7.

 

I am just pissed off with feeling like this, i just want this knot in my stomach to go away and i want to move on.

 

I see people in this thread saying Day 90 and such.... god please i am not here in 90 days!

 

xxx

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I am just pissed off with feeling like this, i just want this knot in my stomach to go away and i want to move on.

 

I see people in this thread saying Day 90 and such.... god please i am not here in 90 days!

 

xxx

 

 

i know, its a f***** up feeling, so all we can do is change it. we say and mean the right things, but the mind is not hearing us. So today before you go to sleep, say to yourself, that 2morrow you are gonna wake up happy and keep that mindset while you are in bed, sing in your head, or repeat: i will wake up happy. it does sound kind of funny, but maybe it works. I am not mocking I am just trying to find an alternative you know.

 

Yes quiet times are the worse. Chuckie says... ( why oh why did this reference come into my head )

 

Keep it up and believe.

 

p.s. What is it these last two days with me, i am not used to this.

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i know, its a f***** up feeling, so all we can do is change it. we say and mean the right things, but the mind is not hearing us. So today before you go to sleep, say to yourself, that 2morrow you are gonna wake up happy and keep that mindset while you are in bed, sing in your head, or repeat: i will wake up happy. it does sound kind of funny, but maybe it works. I am not mocking I am just trying to find an alternative you know.

 

Yes quiet times are the worse. Chuckie says... ( why oh why did this reference come into my head )

 

Keep it up and believe.

 

p.s. What is it these last two days with me, i am not used to this.

 

lol You have become our leader ..you have a very helpful caring nature..i am grateful you are in this thread, although i wish it was under different circumstances for you xxx

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g3m1nn1, no u said nothing to upset me, the advice is welcomed. we do have a lot of history and honestly i thought that would of meant more to her then it did, 8 years of ups and downs, thick and thin, and still the smallest thing and I'm out the door, i guess my love is unconditional, but hers isn't.

 

i wanted to do the NC for me, to prove to myself i don't need her in my life everyday to go on, I'm still maintaining the NC as i didn't call her, i wouldn't of answered the call if it was any other time of the day, but it just worried me, so I'm not contacting her first i guess is what I'm saying.

 

if she wants to call me or talk to me, then i look at it as progress, when i say she doesnt call anyone, she really doesn't call anyone in 8 years and longer so I've been told, so for her to get the courage to do that makes me think that she really wanted my presence not someone else.

 

even though it wasn't about anything of us getting back together or not i was still willing to just see how she was, and a little to see how they were, i was prepared for the worst, and i probably did it to myself if i found out information i didn't want to hear, but she obviously thought it was bad enough to call me out of everyone she could of waited to call or message someone else.

as it was in my world good news and in hers not so much, i let her talk only very little about him, i then felt odd and told her i didn't want to know anything. she said she didn't know what to talk to me about whether that topic was a no no or i would be willing to listen, i said that I'm willing to listen up to the point when i say i don't want to hear anymore. i think she understood.

 

as she said she knew that any topic involving them i would instantly be against him i told her yes thats true, but i am also an adult and can make judgements and opinions without bias, but do not expect it to be good if i don't think it is i will say so.

 

 

yeah Njoy i really don't know how our ex's think, we see it of course we see it as negative but why does it have to be because we don't like the person? why can't it be just because its negative because it is? i do try to be honest with my ex, if i see something as logical and it is bad then i will say so, i have bias but I'm also a logical thinker..

 

they are miles away, she doesn't want to move there, he wants to move here but has no idea what this state is like or if he will even like it, he's just moving for her, she gives him reasons for what if we break up, or what if i just don't want you to move here, to me she is thinking logical and he's not, i give my opinions on the matter, and it comes accross negative cause i hate him.. or maybe its just cause I'm being logical like her and agreeing with her, and she just thinks I'm saying that because its the worst of the 2 options. i hate that, i really do being told my opinion doesn't matter because is the right one, and its something she didn't want to hear.

 

then our conversations go on ilke nothing happened like she talks to me like I'm me.. weird?

 

blondie u will get past it we are all here for you

 

i really need some of that alternate you know. i start my course in a week and my sleep hours are way off.. 8 am start 5pm finish.. I'm sleeping 8am-2pm if i am so lucky to have an actual sleep. 2 hours has been my latest. my head won't shut off when i want it to.

 

though calls at 3am won't help either lol.

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Blondie, very kind words, thank you. I am just trying to get pass this as the rest of you and let us all find an alternative for a heartache.

 

C.E., her calling you of all people, the way i see it means that she feels that you will be there for her, which in my book says nothing but good things, because even though the current situation is unpleasant and heart breaking, you are still a better man if your keep being yourself, you know. So to hell with all playing games and not here now, because i am stubborn or whatever, you are who you are and when she felt weak, it was you who she called, so surely she feels conform talking to you. And from what you have written she also respects your position, as you have clearly said what you dont want to talk about and all.

 

Be prepared for the worst, hope for the best.

 

I, if i try to explain my current state, can't stop thinking about her. But it is not a bad feeling, I don't know perhaps because we re-established communication yesterday and it was pleasant, but i know that i must not allow myself of hoping too much, 'cause that will just send me to day 0. It is hard, when i think about it, but i somehow realized what i did wrong and how certain action or event might have bought us up to the current situation, but in the end it depends on us how we as individuals will proceed, but by being true to ourselves and trying to live our life to the fullest and face the obsticles with the right mind set.

 

I don't know, maybe in a few days something will set me back or get my positive vibe back a few steps, but at this moment i can breath easily. And I hope you all can too.

 

And here i go again...

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cupcake22: I'm fighting everyday. I only have one problem. We still have an apartment that we must sell, we also have to split up furnitures. So the NC will be imposible. The reason that we haven't dealt with that earlyer is because she has been on vacation and all that.

 

But I will not take the first step. She must contact me regarding the apartment.

 

I would probably have a rebound. And I'm not looking forward to that

 

I just love her... That's all

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Morning, oh morning. It's day 16 or day 2, depending on how you look at it.

 

So past two days my mindset was calm and in I was in a pretty good mood and here i am. Feeling anxious.

I am thinking, this entire situation is probably not what it seems, we did start to communicate on Saturday, so let's hope this continues, but what if it's all just a friendly approach, that doesn't mean nothing specific.

 

I know i shouldn't be worrying myself about that and just relax and go with the current, because if I start pushing it's not gonna do any good. But I do wish to see her, forget all the messages, 'cause that is just not personal and I came to realize that a lot of misunderstanding come from miscommunication via messages, I know that what happened in my case. Oh damn, i should just take i deep breath and go on with my day.

 

Good luck, everyone.

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This is my day 16. Good morning. I'm calm and collected. No new news, just hoping some communication goes on. Meanwhile my life goes on. It's tough at times.

 

g3m1nn1, used to have miscommunication via messages in my previous relationship too, but in this last one I was more careful. Good luck to you and everyone else too..

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Nice job with 16 days and thx xmen, like i said, msgs can bi deceiving. its nothing like talking face to face, you know and you misinterpret the meaning and bam! you can so fast be in conflict. I guess, that is something i want to avoid, that is why I want to talk to her either phone or in person, but like i said i dont want to be pushy, so let her contact me, because i often jump the gun and then i am all over the place, don't wanna do that.

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