THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[broken17]

I can't even find that,haha! Well that sounds like the start of something good...

[nycbro]

day almost at the end of day 1, i feel so bad and depressed, i miss her so much and feel like it was all my fault

[broken17]

day almost at the end of day 1, i feel so bad and depressed, i miss her so much and feel like it was all my fault

 

You gotta push through it. You will make it. Just keep distracting yourself, you can do this.

[the dude91]

Hang in there Nycbro you can do it. I was feeling the exact same way but sticking to NC is the only way you can fix things. By doing nothing you can't mess up anymore, trust me from my experience.

[broken17]

It's what I'm trying to do I just haven't accepted it yet...

Day 3

Damn I'm bad at this! Didn't talk all day then my cat kind of intervened by sending him some random letters, and since he's messaged me a few times. I really think what I said yesterday has had absoloutely no impact and my head just feels-imploded.

[chrisbuilder]

Just had a great hang with a many friends that I met through my ex girlfriend. It was a great hang, and we're meeting again tomorrow. It's very strange to be there with them but without my girlfriend, but I'm happy that I'm having a good time despite her not being there...I just miss her so much. It's weird, life is going on, and the people who we share friendship with are proving to be really nice friends to me, yet it seems that the past I have with my darling girlfriend never existed...like she doesn't exist anymore.

 

One of the friends by himself suggested that my ex had too many issues with her former boyfriend of five years to have been able to fully commit to me. It was one of the conclusions I had already drawn, but it was good to hear it from an outsider. I was fighting a battle against five years of memories....fat chance.

 

Sad, but happy to have had a very nice evening, not on the account of being there as the boyfriend of their mutual friend my ex, but by being there on my own account, as me.

 

love y'all!

[danzman]

Day 24 - feel messed up. All sorts of memories that I had forgotten about when we were in a relationship together keep on coming back, when she used to hug me and said that she never wanted to let me go - agony to remember. Have unfriended her on facebook but still looked up her profile today, she had made hardly any changes to it, but even the innoucous things she had changed set my heart pumping and felt painful - it hurts that she is living life without me.

[the dude91]

All men, I recommend watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall, you will feel LOADS BETTER and reinforce NC, at least it did for me. Day 11 tomorrow.

[saluk]

Love Forgetting Sarah Marshall!

 

Sorry Danzman, know exactly what you are going through. Stay off facebook, that's kind of breaking NC. You don't want to know what she is up to if you can help it. That way you can just assume her life is as empty without you as yours is without her, instead of analyzing every little thing.

 

Day 2 now. (13 days since break) After the whole thing with her brothers baby yesterday and feeling probably the most rotten since breakup, today was a bit better. I kind of was supposed to go back to the hospital to be with her brother some more, there are tons of tests for his baby, but I decided not to go. Made it to work, and had moments in the day where I felt OK instead of like I was constantly hyperventilating. I think it might have been my best day to be honest, which is weird coming right after my worst day.

 

Her mom invited me to the Avengers on Sunday. She's trying to keep me in the family even though her daughter broke my heart. I can sense many many NC lapses in the weeks to come. Can I go with everyone and still have NC with the x? Especially when a few weeks ago we were so looking forward to going to the Avengers together. It's actually something we've been looking forward to throughout the relationship, spending time to watch all of the movies leading up to it.

 

It doesn't help that I feel like the only reason we broke up was that she had a momentary bout of confusion and that she still could love me. I don't know if she actually knows herself well enough to realize what a mistake she made. That feeling that the relationship was perfect, that feeling that lasted right up until she did a 180 and changed into a different person, makes it so hard to accept that it has happened and let go.

[Hi Its Me]

Day 1

 

Here goes... It's gonna be tough!

 

She broke up on Monday but up until last night we were meeting every day, even went for dinner, etc. See my other thread here for details if you want to. As of 7pm last night, I started the NC challenge. I want us back together but no idea if that will happen. So far, I have received 4 texts and 2 missed calls from her, all of which have had no reply from me...

[lonelyheart2]

DAY 15 - woke up today and actually felt really good, I think I may be thinking about him less during the day which is nice. I guess being off facebook is really helping me. I think if I have to I will be able to let him go. It's weird because yesterday started off as really bad and I was feeling really depressed about the whole situation but today I feel like I can handle it. 8 days till I finish and can concentrate fully on my healing Also proud that I've managed to make it this far in nc it's been a looooong time since I was here! Next milestone the big 30 I can dooooo it

[pippy longstocking]

DAY 15 - woke up today and actually felt really good, I think I may be thinking about him less during the day which is nice. I guess being off facebook is really helping me. I think if I have to I will be able to let him go. It's weird because yesterday started off as really bad and I was feeling really depressed about the whole situation but today I feel like I can handle it. 8 days till I finish and can concentrate fully on my healing Also proud that I've managed to make it this far in nc it's been a looooong time since I was here! Next milestone the big 30 I can dooooo it

 

 

 

well done darling ..I am a proud star xxxx

[lonelyheart2]

Aw star you are so lovely I hope you are doing well

[pippy longstocking]

Aw star you are so lovely I hope you are doing well

 

hey I am stalking you today ..thankyou darling

 

I am good ...crazy town aint so bad ..haha

[lonelyheart2]

haha crazy town is amazing I'm always there and welcoming your company with a cup of tea and chocolate buttons

[the dude91]

Morning of Day 10

 

Gotta say I'm not too sure if I should even keep counting, at the rate I'm healing I'm not even worried about the need to contact her, don't even really want to talk to her anymore, not because of anger or anything but because I no longer feel a meed too. Where it stands right now I don't see her in my future anymore, all I see are my plans for myself, for me to get out an explore and spoil myself. After 30 days I do plan on contacting her one last time just to get my things but that will be it. The thought of her being with another man no longer bugs me either, I honestly don't see why I'd care, I did my job and I did my best. The next lady will get it even better. Also didn't dream about her last night for the first time in almost 2 weeks which was pleasant. Well keep it up you guys, it does get easier and it IS FOR YOU AND NOT THEM!!

[lanaa]

After 6 months of daily contact with my ex i started NC today,mostly because i could not handle the friendship anymore and i needed to see if he really wants to keep in touch ,i guess i want my proof

 

NC day 1-i feel both relieved and sad,i am scared as hell-is this it? i cant deny that i hope he will contact me again but i know i have to(for my own good) keep thinking -this is it.I cant help my self though,somehow i have this feeling that this is not the end and that he will contact me again.

 

Day 1 going bad,but i believe in a better future

[chrisbuilder]

Well, still in Frankfurt, still just half an hour away from seeing her, and still she knows I'm here and hasn't called me although she suggested meeting and catching up. I feel old. And I feel that I don't want to be with anybody else. Nobody would stand up to the comparison. So close, yet so incredibly far away. Why bother meeting someone else, if it would mean settling for something less?

[zii]

Day... I lost count, but 5 weeks? 6? He sent an email. I told a friend when he could finish moving out, then had her read the email, reply if necessary, and file it away. I told her not to tell me any of what he said, or even if she responded to him. I... I don't want to know him anymore. The only exception would be if he wanted to come back for real; for life. I've been systematically removing his friends and our mutual friends (those who haven't really been there for me) from fb and chat. It all feels bad, but I think it's better to struggle through in sadness than to face him and spiral into despair.

[stonecutters93]

First time posting in this thread, not sure how many days it's been but coming up on 4 months of no contact. While I'm doing much better I know deep down I still love her.

 

My story is slightly different though. I never actually dated the girl I loved, it was my female best friend who friend zoned me so hardcore I never had a chance. My love went unrequited, and I made many mistakes along the way. I spilled my guts and told her how I felt, only to be turned down and get the "lets stay friends" answer. So I agreed, and little did I know the next year of my life would be a living hell. She confided in me about all her "guy flings" and kept telling me about the guy that she loved, all the while being fully aware of how I felt about her. But still I stuck around, because she kept telling me she could see us being together one day and even talked about us getting married. There were two occasions I thought we'd end up together for sure, only to have my dreams shattered and replaced by the next 2 week fling. Finally about 4 months ago, I could no longer handle it and told her I can't be a part of her life while I was in love with her and she didn't feel the same. I left the door open for a friendship down the road, but she took it pretty personally and I never expect to hear from her ever again. Still hurts like hell to this day. I was the guy who was always there for her through everything, but I was used, the perennial back-up plan.

 

I hope nobody ever experiences unrequited love, it's a pain beyond anything I have ever felt before. I seriously hope everyone in this forum finds the closure and the time to heal, and find someone who is worthy of your love.

[the dude91]

And as day 10 comes to an end she starts creeping back into my head... but it's different, not the same as before with me being hysterically desperate trying to think of ways to get her back. It's more like, I hope she comes back but I'm not planning on waiting around for her. If she comes back fine and if she doesn't then I'll be elsewhere anyways. But I still think of some of the fun times we had, but it's all in the past now and I strongly believe it wont have a path in the future for more such memories. I guess I've given up a form of hope while holding onto another, a type that wont really disappoint me. Not sure if this is good or bad and I'm not sure if I should attempt to get my belongings back or just leave them with her. I guess I'll decide later down the road. Day 11 starts soon without even a hint from her, guess she truly did want me out of her life for good in every aspect...

[saluk]

Back to Day 1. Another day spent at the hospital with her brothers newborn. I wish I could get out of these visits, but her brothers friendship is too dear to me. We are friends for life. So I grin and bear it, making in jokes in the group knowing that she will hear it and remember what it really means. When we all ended up at dinner, I sent her and the rest of her family to sit around the corner, so I could talk to my friend alone. That felt pretty powerful, and I know she received the message. Still, its hard to be in such close quarters with her, and see her getting hugs from her family, hugs that she used to get from me. I feel like she is cheating on me with her mom.

 

I honestly don't know what I feel right now. It's an emotional train wreck. Between the baby that may not make it home from the hospital, and the deep pain of having someone who said they would love you forever decide overnight that forever doesn't actually last, I am barely hanging on here. Everything is too overwhelming.

[patterned]

Well, still in Frankfurt, still just half an hour away from seeing her, and still she knows I'm here and hasn't called me although she suggested meeting and catching up. I feel old. And I feel that I don't want to be with anybody else. Nobody would stand up to the comparison. So close, yet so incredibly far away. Why bother meeting someone else, if it would mean settling for something less?

 

That attitude will get you nowhere. NC is about taking care of your own self esteem.

[lonelyheart2]

DAY 16 --- sorry for the explicit information but recently really missing sex with my ex....why..WHY did he have to be so good? Really hope my next guy is as good..or better haha anyway...taking my mind of it..I have been naughty and am having chocolate buttons for breakfast hehe it's to inspire me with my revision.....I woke up today and he wasn't the first thing on my mind for a good hour I'd say!!! So pleeeeeeased!!! I think things are looking up I just have biological issues......haha

[lanaa]

you are doing great lonelyheart!

 

Day 2 for me-I still don't feel this is No contact,reality will hit me at a later point i guess.I woke up and i did not feel good at all,I had an urge just to log into fb but i stayed strong and managed to ignore it.My plan is to stay busy and that way have less time to think about him.it is really only his loss if he decides to stay away,i will concentrate on moving on