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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


SuperDave71
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day 7 after sending her textmessage "I miss you so much" dont know was it a good idea or not. Im going on tretment. Want to know why I acted as I did. Hope I will find answers and then maybe when I get some answers and suggestions then I will contact her again. Still thinking about it.

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Hya everybody! It's been a while. Seeing tomorrow it will be two years ago I met my ex I thought'd be a nice occasion to say hi and check out how everybody is doing.

 

I do see there are some fresh broken hearts. To all of you I would like to say: it gets better. It might not get great, it might not even get good, but it gets better.

 

I'm still convinced my ex was the one and only for me and I do miss her every day.. some days more than others.. but at least I'm still here, which means something, because to be honest I came horribly close to not having been here anymore.

 

From all that to 148 days of complete pure NC (I'd like to thank my sig and link removed lol) is progress I'm proud of.

 

Hang in there all of you.

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Day 17... I had a blast with my girls yesterday, laughed so hard, there was booze and weed - crazy night! But, in one moment I got emotional over one song which reminded me of you... (I wonder if you also have that kind of moments...)

It lasted for a couple of minutes and then my friends cheered me up again, so we had a blast later on too...

And then... In the morning - there was another shock for me. A missed call from your mom! First I was afraid something happened to you but then I called her back and she said she just wanted to hear from me and that she misses me.

Aaand *puff*, all of the feelings came back during our talk. In the end I got emotional again and she was apologizing for setting me back... She thinks time will tell if we'll hook up again, probably persuming this is just a phase... But, she isn't sure about everything either...

 

Well, all I can say now is - I miss you in my life. But, life is a hard battle and on I go with my NC...

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Day 18/19

After deciding to move back home, I think I'm finally accepting the break up for what it is. From now on, I'm focusing more on forgiving him than hating him for the things he did wrong. I'll never see this guy again so what's the point in hating him? After the month of April he'll just be a memory....

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Day 17 (I think)

 

It's been a while and I've been feeling really good. Spring is coming and although I'm looking forward to meeting the next man in my life, I'm in no hurry. Just enjoying being myself and getting in shape, seeing my friends and having fun.

But I do still dream about my ex. It hurts that he has had no urge (seemingly) to break NC. I sometimes imagine him with a new girlfriend all happy, and that makes me a little sad.

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Day 1 start over I tried lc saw you yesterday all went well nice conversation nice seeing you..but it only made me realise that I miss you and love you so much... and nothing positive is coming from it so I texted you telling you i'd rather still wait.. you didn,t respond..you must be with her i've been in so much pain for the past 4 months it's ridiculous.. i've tried everything to forget you and you come back haunting me with your promises and our dreams... so nc because there is nothing to hope for from you anymore

Day one since I have given up on this

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Day 18.

 

I had a dream we didn't get back together, from what it looked like, but you kissed me on the lips and said "I love you."

 

I don't know what to make of it. I was fine for days with no dreams of him and then suddenly this one pops up. I'm honestly at the point where I don't want to deal with this anymore. I want the pain to go away and I'm trying really hard to move on by doing things to keep me busy.

 

I can't wait for my birthday, so I can be with family and friends that appreciate me.

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I drunk texted her a bunch of crap last night. So mad at myself.

 

Back to day 1. Went NC for 3 weeks, twice, and keep breaking it. Deleted her number from my phone (although i have it memorized). Deleted all of our texts, still had every single text starting from a year and a half ago since I got this phone. I want NC to last this time until she might break it. Lets see if I can do it. Gets harder for me after the 2 week mark, but that should eventually fade I hope. Just gotta get away from my phone while not sober too.

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Day 20

Been kinda sad today. I would think that I'd be pretty much over the sad/angry phase since I'm 20 days in. After days of being content with everything, it seems as if I'm going back to being depressed. And the drama with my suite mates isn't making things better with stress. I'm just so ready to get this semester over with. I need my friends and my vacation.

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Day 20 for me also. Nice to see someone else with the exact same count even though the circumstances suck.

 

3 weeks is the longest we've ever gone w/o speaking. I want to move on and be happy, but happy doesn't seem to want me right now. I think it would all be different if I wasn't betrayed so badly. I can't wait for the day I forget him and what he did to me.

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I stopped counting since I broke NC over a technicality, stupide reason, two days ago. It would have been 29 days today. Of course, she didn't even bother replying to the message I sent her on Skype. I don't know why it's so hard for her to reply to a simple message, I haven't been stalking her, or asking her back, or calling excessively. The last time we spoke verbally is almost a month ago. Even if she's got someone else, or even if it's better not to have contact, is it really so much to ask to just reply to one simple message?!

 

Anyway, I'm trying to keep myself going by keeping to a strict schedule. So far so good. I just miss her incredibly, woke up thinking this morning that I'd never been happier in my life. I realized that when we were together, and I remember how that felt. And I know how I feel now. It's as though I'd been given the ability to see colors, and now am back to seeing things again in shades of grey, but remembering what the colors looked like.

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Guys, for me is also nearly 20 days... 19 to be exact. And have similar feelings. I thought I grew stronger but now I cannot stop thinking he doesn't want to hear from me and that he'll never call again. Little panic attack. And the urge of contacting him is the strongest by far... But I won't do it.

 

I came back home for the holidays to be with my family and EVERYTHING reminds me of him... We were in my house this summer, had dinners with my folks, had parties here... I'm such a mess right now.

 

I'll see him in 9 days and fear the worst - that he'll say he totaly lost his feelings and that he can manage without me. (And he surely can if he can pass by 20 days without contacting me. )

It's so hard and it seems like I'm doing two steps ahead and now one and a half back... -.-

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Day 6 - I was in such a good mood over the weekend but now my 'normal' week has began again and this is normally the night I would see you. I got a little tearful last night thinking of you but it's a big improvement from last week when I was an emotitional wreck every time I thought of you. I still hate the mornings as it hits me all over again that we aren't together. I'll get there though.

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Day 1: This is so hard, it's tearing my heart. I loved him and I wanted him so bad but he rejected me. We had so much in common but he didn't want to be with me. I just want the pain to go away and I want to be over him, I really hope NC helps me with that and I really hope I get the strength to keep up the NC.

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Day 21

I've been content with things today. I'm kind of hoping I don't run into my ex or his gf for the rest of the semester but I know that's impossible. As of right now I'm not really yearning to see him like I was 2 weeks ago this time. I just want to get over him as soon as possible so I can move on with life. I am so over these ups and downs.

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Well, today it's 2 months after BU and 20th NC day... I feel a little bit stronger than last two days... I'm trying to concentrate on my own well-being, since that is the whole point. But it's hard...

You didn't check in any social network for few days and, as tough it may be not to know anything about you, it is slightly better for me. It would be better not to check up on you every once in a while, but I cannot help myself.

 

I'm dreading of meeting you in 8 days... Need to pull myself together and grow somewhat stronger 'till next wednesday.

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I've decided that I should join the NC challenge I think it would be good for me

We had NC for two weeks and had a positive talk on Thursday and today I sent him a funny MMS that I got which I thought he'd like and I wish I hadn't. He didn't reply and i know he received it so I'm left thinking it was a bad idea. NC it is again for me for two and a half weeks. I will wish him a happy birthday later this month but I will not contact him other than that.

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Day 22

I've been a hermit pretty much today. Haven't contacted any friends or family. I just went to class and I've been in mu dorm for hours now. I really didn't want to be bothered today; and I've been thinking about my breakup and why it is for the best. My birthday is coming up and I want to do something drastic with my look. A new hairstyle and/or a new outfit would make me happy. This ahole probably doesn't even remember when my birthday is sadly....

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Day 21...

 

I stupidly STUPIDLY opened a folder with photos of us during the most memorable, fun vacation we ever had. This is the most I've ever broken down since the BU. And I can't stop crying. I'm in so much pain.

 

I miss him so * * * * ing much. I want to call him. I want to hear his voice. But I know I can't. I wish he wasn't with his new GF. I wish we didn't break up. I wish nothing ever happened.

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