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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


SuperDave71
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dunno how long its been, 6 weeks some thing like that.

and i feel so bad.

the last few weeks i have been looking on her FB, i cant see much, no wall posts as she has set it to friends only. but i do look at her pic, sometimes it makes me worse, some times i smile and am happy, but the past few weeks my mood has been low. the dreams have started up again, i hardly sleep, i wake up ion sweats thinking about her. and earlier i was in an ok mood as i am on a saturday, just checking FB and looked on her page...and she had a new picture, she has changer her hair shes smiling and happy and looks absolute beautiful...and i felt sick, my stomach dropped and i started to cry, burst into tears. i dont know why i torture myself. i am improving myself i know what was wrong, it isnt easy but i will continue to work hard at it. and i do still want her back.

i have been oput of work for a while, but got a job a few weeks back, and it seriously does help, and i can treat myself, be with friends more, enjoy my spare time, and keep my mind occupied. while out of work i could only dwell on her. and its given me alot of my confidence back.

i still love you so much

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Hi all, Probs seen my other threads Ive been busy since seeing this forum haha

 

Im on day 5 of no direct contact with a girl I was dating but I ended it as I was scared, last time I spoke we were on a night out together even thou her new BF was also out!!!

 

I've not spoke to her and not even posted anything related to her on FB

 

so its been 5 days of complete NC, her best friend has just posted a video on my wall nothing related to anything that's going on its just a funny vid. The best friend has been there for both of us during the last few months trying to get us to see sense.

 

I'm assuming this video is directly aimed at me to break NC as i'm applying the NC to the girl and her mate. I know I shouldn't comment but i want to even just like it so she knows i'm ok

 

arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggg

 

talk me out of it quick!!!

 

But does this also mean the NC is starting to work?

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Same here but if you contact her after she's made it obvious she doesn't want to know, you are doing ONE thing and ONe thing only, pushing her away.

 

Even though NC isn't designed to get them back primarily, it is the best way by far as if anything's going to make them miss you, it's NC. The bit Im a bit hazy on though is if they contact you but mine hasnt yet so I'll cross that bit if and when I come to it.

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we were never in a serious relationship, feelings were there from both sides at different times. She hasn't posted the video her best mate(who helped us get together) has done the posting, I've got a feeling she knows something is happening!!

 

I'm in town tonight n pretty sure she'll be out too thought i was prepared for the night !!! :S

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Day 17. Definatley gaining strength now. Days have flown by. Am getting more rational and logical and less "rose tinted spectacles" by the day.

 

At this rate by day 30 I'll definatley by Nonchalant. Almost certain she isn't going to contact me anyway, can just feel it.

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19!....feels like 100 days!

 

I appreciate the time and the space. I'm not crying my eyes out every day at this point, a fact that sort of annoys me since crying is good for release, but on the other hand it shows my emotions are stabilising, which can only be a good thing.

 

If I ever see him again, I want to be my usual confident, charismatic self, not a blubbering mess!

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Day whatever

 

No point counting the days because I'll cheerfully chew off a limb before I ever talk to the man again. Self-respect feels so much better than talking to him ever could.

 

He's a hopeless alcoholic anyway (I know, what a catch, right?) and the only thing he and his gf have to look forward to is his not-so-distant demise from cirrhosis of the liver. Let her deal with that from now on, I'm out of his life for good.

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Couldn't edit last post so just wanted to add that I don't hate him (although I've had my moments), and I'm not doing this to get back at him or to get him back... I have done this for me, and me alone.

 

angie, I know how hard this is... I've missed my ex terribly too. But holding on to hope that he will get in touch will only delay your recovery. Hang in there. *hugs*

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Yeah bebop I was getting that. She was texting back sometimes after half an hour later.

 

Day 19 of NC and am now getting to the stage where I don't even expect a call or message so don't bother looking, anyway am starting toi become interested in dating other women now.

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Wow, this time I am determined to beat my own record (I guess about 90 days) and never contact him again. Wow, finally, I feel as if I am ready to move on and that the past is a distant memory. Of course, I still love him, but this is the way it will be.

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Great idea, I'm up for this! I am on day 2 of NC, we split up over a month ago, I finished with him as he was sending signals that he just wasn't as in to the relationship as he had been, I never saw him, he cancelled when we arranged things - throughout the time I didn't see him he maintained he loved me, missed me, was committed to us and passionate about us and our future, but odd things kept happening, he said he was ill for weeks, not only did we not see each other but he rarely called me (although he did text a lot), and he never talked about anything in the future. He kept telling me to be patient, but I felt that something wasn't right. I have e-mailed him once in a while since our split, and he e-mails straight back, says he misses me and is sad etc. I have gone two weeks without any contact, but then I cave in as I just miss him and foolishly think that he might open up and say that he wants to go back out if I do get in touch and reignite that contact. However, on Sunday I told him that I didn't think that we should be in touch anymore, whilst I was the one who mostly instigated it, I said I felt it was not helping me move on. He replied fair enough and that he loved me. He always told me to be patient, it made me think that maybe, just maybe there was someone else in his life but he wanted to keep me there too as he didn't know if he wanted her or me. He went on holiday in strange circumstances, just suddenly left and said he had forgotten he had booked it, I believe that maybe he went with a girl, maybe his ex who he told me he had bumped in to a few days earlier. Anyway, long story short, I am going to try the NC for a month. I'll let you know how it goes!!!

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Day 15

 

I've been going through such a shame spiral. I tried to walk away from him many, many times during our relationship because he had so many issues that I found so hard to handle (alcoholism, depression among others) and he could be extremely selfish and demanding. Last year, he was hospitalised due to psychosis brought on by alcohol abuse (he was sinking a bottle of vodka per day!) but every time I tried to escape he would chase after me; he had an uncanny knack of tugging at my heartstrings so I would always go back. I know I brought this on myself and I wish so much I had handled things differently, but he made me his sole source of emotional support and I found it just too overwhelming at times. I couldn't help him. As much as I cared for him, he scared me too (not in a violent way; just too much baggage). I look back and wonder how I got so involved in the first place.

 

Anyone else been in a situation like that, and how did you handle it?

Edited by destiny0791
typo
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day one again!!, I know i'm not coming out of a long relationship like a lot of people but its getting me down again. Went a full week with complete NC, spoke yesterday and let her know I couldn't wait for the weekend which she asked why? let her know I had a full weekend of fun planned then left it as that.

 

All I've done today is think about her constantly!!! I want her back, I've got a plan together and sticking to it!! If it dnt work I'm outta here!!!

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