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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


SuperDave71
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day 25

for some reason today i have had the urge to contact her. i am not feeling anxious or depressed about the situation. i have just wanted to ask a simple hello how are you?

i dont know anything about her situation now, if shes with someone or not, but i have been thinking of asking one of her friends if she is with someone, i havnt asked either of them though and dont intend to, but its hard, keep getting these urges to contact her. it was hard at the start, got easier, and its swinging back round to being hard again. i am glad its the weekend, i can forget about it and spend some time with my mates, if it was the start of the week these urges would have gotten worse

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I thought I moved on from him. Thought I was healed..

Then suddenly I have this very realistic dream about how it could have been between us.

It was such a nice dream, we had súch a nice chemistry.

*sigh*

Get out of my subconsciousness please,mister!

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day 25

and its all done and dusted!

i received a message from her asking if we could still be friends, but only if i could honestly say i could accept that and nothing more! honestly i cant see that especially not so soon after the break up. anyway i rang her we had a chat said goodbye and wished each other luck with the rest of our lives, i feel like crap now.

i am done with this site now, i have gathered enough info and it has all helped me, thankyou

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I accept the challenge now... NC! Its really not worth the heart ache again and again. 7/5/11. DAY ONE

its been few wks from breakup... then meet up, good time hanging, another person involved from her side! pain, hang out, try worked out, pain again, worked out again, properly this time, tried hanging out... was good but then i realised i cant be friends.. dont want to be used while she has another guy there, she couldnt get past it me not being her friend, not enough understanding from her.. pain again. bye bye.. im done..

 

i did evrything i could to be the better man, bigger person... i spent my time growing myself. reading hours and hours everyday on here + articles and all about behaviour etc etc.. but she didnt met even half way from wat i wanted... as if i can be friends knowing she will be with someone else in between. she has now lost her best friend for good, i have too but at least i treated my best friend properly till the very end.. she didnt though.

 

Already deleted her number, took off the fotos in my room, and little presents that show meaning -- all in a bin bag.. + NOW im hiding all her post from FB. i know it hurts to do that right now.. but less seeing the better

 

time for full ME time with no distractions from a person that wants me there but doesnt want me there... just mind games and no real care for me but cares about her needs.

 

"good bye and farewell (to her).. you said you wanted to learn it even if its a mistake, well i dont wanna learn from you anymore... i tried and nothing. not enough.. i deserve better you say but you dont give it to me. well i do deserve better.. but from someone else. i cant wait to meet that lovely woman..."

 

i dont know how ill be tomorow. but i know ill keep reading and growing hopefully... tired now.

Edited by sumone
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I accept the NC challenge today 05/06. This will be very difficult as we do work together and sit right next to each other. I was w/ my ex for 3 years up until last week. We typically have broken up every 3-6 months for a few days/weeks and always got back together. I have now come to realize that I will never be a top priority in his life more rather a convienence. I want someone who wants to be w/ me, wants to share little and big things with me, who misses me when I am not around etc....unfortunately I still want him to be that person.

 

After 3 years of us having good times I am not sure if I can do this, I have learned to lower my standards and tolerate not having what I deserve. I can't do this anymore, and will not fall into the trap of the random niceness and I miss you text that come along only when we are not together. I hope I am strong enough to complete this!

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Today is day 15, I honestly can go on forever until the pain goes away. To me it's not a challenge because I'm used to going NC, does it hurt? Yes, but it'll go away. Cheers

 

Accepting the situation, accepting him/her and accept that things might never change will make the pain more bearable.

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day 25

and its all done and dusted!

i received a message from her asking if we could still be friends, but only if i could honestly say i could accept that and nothing more! honestly i cant see that especially not so soon after the break up. anyway i rang her we had a chat said goodbye and wished each other luck with the rest of our lives, i feel like crap now.

i am done with this site now, i have gathered enough info and it has all helped me, thankyou

 

Sorry to hear you news wcl. I wish you luck.

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Well, I started nc without telling my ex. Today she emailed me and wanted to tell my about her rough counseling session and that she was thinking about me. Blah...blah...blah. I was polite but short and to the point avoiding all questions she asked me about my life. I decided it was now or never...it was time to cut her loose and take a stand for myself. I basically told her that I had not contacted her out of respect for her decision to move on with her life with someone else. I told her that I did not feel it would be good for me if I had any contact with her from now on. I let her know I am trying to move on with my life and heal. She replied that she would respect that and leave me alone....she had been hopeful that we could be friends....but it was too soon. YA THINK?? Anywho, no contact begins again tomorrow!!!

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Day12.

i've already started NC from the day after he left me on the day when he told me he love me less and cannot imagine us being together for a long time.

i reminded myself that I could be strong and will eventually forget about him as he did some things that disrespected me in some parts of our relationship. Although i still love and miss him for who he was when he was in love with me, i still cannot get over the pain he caused me.

I've been trying very hard not to think about him or see the image of his face somewhere within my thoughts... and have somewhat been successful... until some little memories that resurface into my thoughts that make me feel vulnerable again.

Today I've been working out as usual.. trying to get myself looking good for the summer, until some memory of him popped into my thoughts once again... which made me shed tears. I hope these memories will not end up torturing me

Well i've been feeling messed up lately... from calmness.. to anger.. to missing him... to feeling optimistic i could live without him... to.. etc.. and it would repeat.

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DAY 2 wow! man it hurts.. and i dont want her back. just the betrayal after with the other guy, i know she will see him and do things hurts so much... i was so loyal as a best friend afer the BU. its done, she doesnt deserve me.. and thats a direct quote from my friends

 

you know wats amazing. i told my mum, and for once in our lives we embraced like mother & son. we talked, we are connected, i came home today, KNOWING its a safe home to come too.. i havent felt that for a long long time.. and im my most time of need it happened. the people in the other rooms really love me.. even my sister was there for me today and she is 15!.. more than amazing.

 

all my friends also supported me as i told the story.. they all met me where im standing.. how awesome is that. the effort to keep being here. i am actuallly in pain and hurt .. but not wanting to be there for her anymore. and after processing my day.. i realise im surrounded by people that REALLY care about me.. not when its convienent for them but when I need it. its an amazing feeling.. i actually havent felt this much love for awhile... its great. i can actually honestly smile right now as i type this.

 

thanks everyone here too. you stories and sharing have helped me nearly everyday since the BU.

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yesterday we ended it, for good, i was gona stop writing on here, but id rather write on here than in my book like i used to, i kept reading that and it made it worse. but yeah, completely over, done, said goodbye, and i gotta say, the closure has done wonders.

i love her and always will, she was my best friend the most amazing person i have ever met, we were great, something went wrong along the way, its pessimistic to say it, but i know i wont ever find anyone one like her again.

but i feel good i can move on

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I think it's Day 19 since I started NC. It's weird... I dont have any urge to contact her. I dont have to stop myself from dialing her number or anything, but I do miss her terribly, and I miss her more each day. I have been thinking a lot, and now I can see and accept my own part on the break up.

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Day 48 NC pretty damn sure I built her up to be oh.... just a little bit better than she was. May my brain never go all Walt Disney again!

 

 

 

 

you say that your a princes and that might be true, but I'm a f...... peasant and still too good for you!!!

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DAY 3 im feeling better abit today...i didnt want to get out of bed but no, have to face the music'

got some sleep & just relaxed at home, watched some shows/DLs on my comp & did things i needed to do around my place abit too.. it was actually great to do watever i want, when i want.. did lots of reading too. on here and online articles to help me grow.. that really helps me.

 

she contacted me today via sms (i deleted her off my fone when i started this challenge but of course i know her number).. just a "hello" was written. straight away i wanted to right back "hallo, if you REALLY need to talk about stuff call me" because i know she doesnt have many people to count on. BUT NO! i called my friend instead, he said ignore it, just like that i did.. i realised my friends got my back, listen to them. that was the quick push i needed. deleted the sms and that was that. i feel really good now.

 

i realised today.. that this challenge is under "Getting back together".. but actually im not doing this for her at all, nor to get her back. this is really for me... and i dont need something that keeps pushing me down, rather than lifting me up.

Edited by sumone
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Day 23.

Hung out with S & T, our best friends last night along with a few other people. Basically I'm hanging out with "our" friends without you. We've hung out with this group so many times before, and only now do I see how bad a boyfriend I was - I was just so boring, wasn't I? I showed no affection, and wasn't really any fun to be around. Urg! I wish I could go back and be so much better, but of course I can't. Instead, I'll have to use my former lameness to my advantage now and show you how much I've changed and how much fun I am now, because last night I was a lot of fun!

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DAY 4 i looked at my fone a fair bit thinking she would contact me.. she didnt, its time to move on. i realised today my image of her is changing.. its slowly slowly becoming who she really is, and not the girl i loved, the girl of my dreams... she has really changed for the worse, more selfish and less caring it seems, actions speak louder than her words now...

 

reading helps me so much, and so does talking about it. the more i do it the more i hear wat im saying and the reality hits me more and more.. its sad my dream died, but now im awake.. i want to start living again.

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DAY 5 how annoying.. dreamt about her last night and remembered this morning... realised more today that i want to meet my dream girl now. but my ex isnt it.. its just the image of her i know and who she use to be.

 

i miss having my girl around, i miss the way we use to be... thinking about those things make me smile so much. but things will never be like that again... that part is what really makes me sad. she isnt like that anymore, she is selfish and manipulating, only looking out for her.. no matter if she hurt her best friend, i was there till the end.

 

Now its a new chapter, in my life.. and this is the start of my search for the love of my life.. thats wat i hold on to now. thats wat makes me smile.. i hope she isnt far away. i want to spend so much of my time with her' and do so much things with her.

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Day 1

 

I have no where left to go but up...I have tried everything to reconcile...she has said nothing about anything.... I slept with another woman the other night...after I just felt so terrible about myself.... Im feeling guilty , sad, alone, depressed, I feel weak and foolish. Like a chum...pathetic...scared.. I leave for california in a week...looking forward to seeing family and getting away. I loved her and i want her back.. but I don't think its a possibility....but with her or without....I need to heal and move on...1 month...while I'm doing this ill be on an excersize program, quit smoking, and actually read a book. See you tomorrow.

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16th day

 

I dreamt about my ex 3 nights in a row now and it's driving me crazy I wanna forget but obviously dreaming about her almost every night makes it harder! What the f*ck does that mean? I've been on strict NC for 16 days already (second try) supposed to be my 29th day and it's only this week that she keeps on appearing and appearing in my dreams. First night we were so happy, second night found out she was lying, third night there she is again.

 

Does your ex keep on entering your dreams as well? Do you have a clue to what does that mean?

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