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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


SuperDave71
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DAY 37

 

Still going NC......And still haven't received the package of my stuff that was supposed to show up a week or 2 ago.

 

A friend told me my ex might have been joking about telling me she was moving to make me jealous. And according to some friends she's still in her home city. I wonder what's up.

 

I'd like to text her to find out when my stuff's going to show up, but I also want to stick to this NC challenge as long as possible.

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day 7

the weekends are the worst!

i thought the week was hard! struggling in silence! but i knew she was, shes out now having fun, i aint! horrible! i am gona go 1 more week at least, then break NC, i cant cope, id rather have a definitive yes or no!

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Day 24

 

I didn't post yesterday b/c I wasn't in the mood. The strong emotions are gone, I just feel kind of blah now. I don't have a whole lot of motivation to do anything.

 

I'm jealous of the folks who are using this NC time to improve themselves. I'm unfortunately going in the opposite direction. When I was dating him, I was on top of the world and did everything I could to look my best. Regular facials, pedicures, bikini waxes, workouts, healthy eating etc. Long list of grooming and self-improvement activities that I now have no desire to keep up. I honestly believe that I looked the best I ever have when we were dating. At 41, I looked better than I did at 26. Obviously I looked younger then but I didn't work out or pay a lot of attention to my appearance.

 

So I'm really discouraged because I did everything I could to be the most beautiful version of myself and he still dumped my ass! I feel like what's the use now, even though I have a strong feeling that he'll be making a curtain call.

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Day 14

 

Starting the third week for the first time. I miss her and I care alot about her. I am sure that she does the same. Saw her two weeks ago and we made passionate Love and she told me she loved me. I told her the same. I went back over on Sunday and that was a big mistake. She told me to leave her alone and she is done. Her mouth says that but her emotions say different. I am going to stick to no-contact and work on myself and heal. Hopefully I will make it to 30-40 days without contacting her. Most likely I will bump into her at church, but we shall see. I will just smile and keep going. I have to get my head straight and her out of it. I learned that just because someone is out of your head, it doesnt mean they leave your heart. Congrats JohnGalt. This is truly something to look forward too.

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By the way, people..

My ex responded to my text message a month later.

A bit strange right. Good thing I don't feel like overanalyzing it!

But even though I'm finding it strange it takes him a whole month to reply to a text message,

I'm glad he did read my text message and replied in a kind way

It helps me to find closure.

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By the way, people..

My ex responded to my text message a month later.

A bit strange right. Good thing I don't feel like overanalyzing it!

But even though I'm finding it strange it takes him a whole month to reply to a text message,

I'm glad he did read my text message and replied in a kind way

It helps me to find closure.

 

Maybe he was just texting you, not responding?

 

That's weird, why would he randomly text you back a whole month later. Doesn't make sense.

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Day 7 (at least I guess I count this as day 7):

Several rum + cokes, plus a few shots of pure Captain Morgan with your friends = being VERY honest about how you feel about the breakup. And my friends gave me opinions I never thought I'd hear from them. They say I'm better than you (note: these are mutual friends we share) and that you expected too much from me. Also, they are really upset with you for immediately jumping into another relationship. They say I was a really great guy who showed you nothing but love and respect, but you were always left wanting more because you were spoiled.

 

That doesn't change how I feel about you.

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day 7 just finishing

feel crap, the worst, everyday has got crapper, was out with mates, in the sun, tried to have fun and was miserable! went home sat down watched a film, and the WORST part of the day haha, watched raging bull, and the part where shes kissing his belly made me go mental, i cant escape her, shes everywhere! i love her so much. i know shes being strong, i wish she wasnt, i wish she was crying and hanging on the phone ready to call me

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April 18: Day 2 Copy and pasted from my journal

 

I’m doing a lot better today than yesterday. It’s not that I miss you any less or am thinking about you any less, but my attitude is at least more positive today. Yesterday I talked to my friends and my sister about you and I. They all agreed that I just need to separate myself from you for both our sakes. I need to cut myself off from you because talking to you just messes with my head. I also need to cut myself off from you to make you finally realize that you stand to lose me. For three months I have always stayed around, making the break up easier for you. When I did take myself away for a short time, you had a little taste of life without me and didn’t like it. Now you will get a much larger dose; we’ll see how much you like that. Andrew in particular was hard to talk to. He’s pretty mad at you, but you know how pessimistic he can be. I’m trying to take his advice with a big grain of salt.

 

I’ve been trying hard today not to think of any specific memories of the two of us, but it’s so hard. It’s like saying “don’t think about elephants.” It automatically makes me think about us. This is the house I grew up in, but since you lived here for two years with us it leaves memories in absolutely every corner. My gut wrenches when I think about how you used to walk these same halls, and sleep in this very room. You used this bathroom, this shower, did your laundry here, daily. This used to be your home, too, and now everything still has your imprint on it. I could go on and on but I better stop for my own sake.

 

It really bothers me when you told me the other night that you invited pilot guy to the apartment. The same apartment that used to be ours, to which I only returned my key a week ago today. You probably invited him into the bedroom, our old bedroom, and into bed – the same bed that we shared together. It’s so hard to think of you being with someone else. Some people have said you are a horrible person for getting into another relationship so fast. I’m less quick to judge you. As horrible as it makes me feel, I don’t know that I can say I would do it any differently if I was in your situation as the dumper. I know that if I had another girl that I liked spending time with and becoming intimate with, I would definitely take the opportunity. The fact that I don’t right now makes it really hard to know you do, though.

 

I know right now that you are probably sitting at home getting ready for your doctor’s appointment tomorrow. As unpleasant as a colonoscopy is, hopefully it will give you some answers for what’s wrong with your stomach. You’re probably in for a rough night, having to take that laxative. I was planning on trying to be with you tonight, and comfort you while you go through this. I’m not sure if your brother is there or not. I know that pilot guy won’t be there. If he’s even in town, there’s no way you would let him see you in that state. Maybe this will give you a little bit better of an idea of what real love is. I would’ve been there for you. I was going to drop off a movie for you, and maybe watch it with you if you would have let me. Now, though, you won’t be hearing from me. You won’t hear from me tomorrow, either. There are some things I need to take care of tomorrow, but nothing that couldn’t wait if it had to. You’ve got a long day in the hospital, and I would’ve been there by your side the whole time. Your mom will be there, I think, which is good. Before, I would’ve called you in the morning to talk before you went in, and asked you to let me know if you needed anything, but now you have to be on your own. I hope your night is okay, but miserable enough to make you wish I was there. I’m not sure if you’re expecting me to contact you, or if you think I’m expecting you to tell me about how it went, but I’m not. I want to know, of course I do, but I can’t. By the slim chance that you do send me a text or call me to let me know the results, I’m not sure what I’ll do yet. You probably won’t though. It’s only been a day. You don’t miss me right now. There hasn’t even been time for you to realize I’m not going to contact you.

 

I spent some time on the internet looking for weight lifting programs. I’ve been working out since we broke up, but haven’t packed on much muscle. We’re a month away from sand volleyball and Las Vegas. I have become more comfortable with my body because I have toned up a bit, but I’m still pretty skinny. I hope to bulk up a bit before swimsuit season. I’m doing it to boost my self confidence, but I’d be lying if I said part of it wasn’t to impress you and make you attracted to me again.

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April 17 - Day 3 of NC

 

Today was a good day. I'm actually sticking to NC this time, and I have finally accepted the fact that I might not ever be friends with her or even talk to her again. It's hard to think about, but it's something I have to accept. She runs a blog online and writes about me in it, but I'm putting in an effort to not read it and with time she'll stop writing things entirely. I'm working on me now, and for once I'm not giving in and responding to her online posts. Throughout the whole relationship the power was always on her side, and now I've decided to break it once and for all and take charge of my life and what I want and deserve (which isn't her crap).

 

I've started to run more and I'm finding things to distract myself..and it works for most of the day. Now I just have to focus on improving how I am in the evenings and I should be on the road to a slow recovery.

 

I happened to watch 'Eat, Pray, Love' today, and while it was pretty much a "chick flick", it had some good messages I think anyone going through heart break and change can relate to. One of my favorite quotes is this:

 

“A friend took me to the most amazing place the other day. It’s called the Augusteum. Octavian Augustus built it to house his remains. When the barbarians came they trashed it a long with everything else. The great Augustus, Rome’s first true great emperor. How could he have imagined that Rome, the whole world as far as he was concerned, would be in ruins. It’s one of the quietest, loneliest places in Rome. The city has grown up around it over the centuries. It feels like a precious wound, a heartbreak you won’t let go of because it hurts too good. We all want things to stay the same. Settle for living in misery because we’re afraid of change, of things crumbling to ruins. Then I looked at around to this place, at the chaos it has endured - the way it has been adapted, burned, pillaged and found a way to build itself back up again. And I was reassured, maybe my life hasn’t been so chaotic, it’s just the world that is, and the real trap is getting attached to any of it. Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation.”

Edited by fissionfuser
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day 8

the weekend was hard. was busy and had lots to do, but doing things for the sake of doing them doesnt help much, i still cant get my mind off her.

dreamnt about her, it was a nice dream. feel good today (well better) normally on a monday im alone in the house all day, and feel crap, but today i am ok, i am at a level i can cope with. no up no downs, just level.

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Maybe he was just texting you, not responding?

 

That's weird, why would he randomly text you back a whole month later. Doesn't make sense.

 

No it's absolutely a response.

Because in the text he is referring to the text I send him a month ago..

But ok it's not like I have the right to get a quick response , since I'm not his girlfriend anymore

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Day 8 of NC:

Well, here's to our 1 month anniversary of the breakup. How I feel about you changes daily. Today is more of a "I want to see your rebound fall apart, you come crawling back to me and I turn you down" day. Probably tomorrow will be a "I want you back day."

 

Oh well, alternating feelings are to be expected in this situation. But I'm becoming more and more detached from you the longer we go without really talking. So the emotions I do feel about you are less and less powerful.

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Day 15....Blah

 

Day 15 is cool. Even though its been almost a month since the break up..... I still have her on my mind, but I am staying busy with work. I am realizing that I didnt provide enough security in your relationship to make her feel safe. That was my fault and I wont be making that mistake again. Well, I miss her and I found out that she doesnt want to talk to mutaul friends about me. Its cool. I will continue to show her that I dont need her. I need God... and of course me...

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