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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


SuperDave71
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Wetchicken, when the time does come where you have the choice to take her back you have to think hard about taking you back, what our exs do to us cruel and it's like putting a magnifing glass over an ant while the sun beats on it killing it slowly. Maybe in time you will be beat on too much and you won't want her back only time will tell.

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Day 30

I did it, I'm so proud of myself, I never thought that I could be this strong but thanks to ENA and my friends I became a strong woman that realizes that I deserve better.

I do miss him very much and a part of me still feels like it's not over yet but I know that time will heal me. I'm gonna keep on doing NC because it really is the best way to heal.

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Day 19 - "L", its been 3 months exactly since the break up. I wonder if you realize it? The last couple days have been hard for me, I have had this overwhelming urge to contact you. Just something simple like a text asking you if you would be open to getting together to catch up? But, I have resisted. I am still fearful. Fearful I may be rejected once again, fearful that you are not the same person that left me 3 months ago. The hurt I have been feeling for so long is subsiding but being replaced with emotions I cannot put into words. I am glad I have this safe place to let it out. Best part is, it doesn't have to make sense to anyone but me!

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CONGRATS JOOJ!!

 

You should be very proud! You should deffinitely keep it up... you can't lose what don't have but, you can lose what you gained so as long as you don't contact him you won't lose your progress

Good luck!

 

Day 8: I feel great! Ate some cake for breakfast and now my tummy hurts lol

I'm starting to get over the fact that she is in a rebound engagement relationship and

It would next to impossible to get hurt back or her actually contacting me from the silent treatment I'm giving her.

I ask yesterday if anyone had opinions on my story cause it was a bit crazy and I never heard of something like it before

If anyone wants to check it out and respond please do it's much appreciated.

 

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Day 18

 

I guess it's a bad sign that I'm still keeping track and coming on here to vent. While most of me realizes it's over, I still have this hope that every time the phone rings it will be you. My gut is telling me this isn't over yet, but I think it's only because that's what I want to feel. On the bright side, I still have my dignity. Thankfully you have no idea how sad I still am right now, for all you know I could be having the time of my life. I still have so many questions I would like to ask you, maybe eventually I will... but for now, I refuse to contact you and give you the ego boost and satisfaction of knowing I miss you. It makes me feel good knowing that I have my will power back, that I have enough control over my emotions at this point to make rational decisions.

 

Also, the strong urge to know whether or not there is another girl in your life has gone. I don't care anymore. I don't want to know, I realize knowing won't change anything except make me feel pain.

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Day 5

 

Today was okay got a lot of work done and the CEO let us all out at 2pm! Met up with a gf to go shopping and eat then I headed to class. We learned about resentment today and that the first step is to forgive yourself for feeling those hurts then you can forgive the offender. I'm going to REALlY work on that bc resentment is what pulled us apart. My resentment toward you and yours toward me. Also toward your biatch friend who attacked me and I felt you didn't defend me enough.

 

I got an email magazine subscription confirmation that you renewed my cosmo. Not sure why I got the email or your intentions - prob to see if I would contact you, but I didn't.

 

 

I just want to move on, with or without you.

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Day 14

 

Feeling less addicted but also less optimistic than yesterday.

 

I don't think of him as much throughout the day, which is a relief.

 

I can't believe it's only been 2 weeks. Funny how your perception of time is so different with someone you love. With guys I don't care about, I can go 2 months without seeing them and feel like "It's already been 2 months since I last saw you?" Time flies with guys I'm not interested in, but moves so slowly when I'm missing the one I love.

Edited by wilyone 11
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Day 18 (still)

 

Had to come back and post because I had a strong urge to contact you tonight. I'm mad at myself for being so kind when you ended things, I thought I was rising above and doing the right thing, but now it makes me feel so spineless, like I was willing to let you take advantage of me.

 

I am so angry at you right now. You strung me along for so much longer than you had to. I would love to scream at you and give you a piece of my mind. You pride yourself in being a "good" guy, but you were selfish and an ass when it came to our relationship. You have no idea how many sacrifices I made for you, if I would have only known. How was I so blind? How did I let you get away with being so manipulative? YOU deserve to be suffering right now, not me.

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Day 6

 

Not the best day this Morning, really missing you atm, I have gone over everything and I know what was bad and good about us, personally I think it was worth fighting for but maybe you need some time to focus on yourself and figure out things. Wish you had shouted these problems at me at least I would have known.

 

Mark

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day 5, i feel shes doing things with no thoughts towards how they make me feel, and well, there making me feel angry. posting stuff on mutual friends pages on fb and twitter about all these fit men she has seen and what she would like to do to them, * * * * ing hell, its been 3 weeks woman, what the * * * * . if i did that she would go crazy, not that i would, i am not interested in anybody else yet. its 3 weeks!!!!

 

 

im so tempted to tell her to * * * * off, go enjoy her self, and i hope shes miserable! i hate being angry like this, i hope it doesnt last long, im not like this normally

Edited by wcl
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Day 6

 

This has been the longest we've ever gone NC. It's Friday and my original plans to go with gfs to HH are shot bc of the weather. Weekends are probably a lot harder bc of all the free time, esp. when the weather is crummy and the best thing to do is cuddle

 

Gah!! I want this feeling to be over.

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Day 15

 

I miss having sex with him. Wish I could have hot make-up sex with him right now. I'm confident that he'll be back and looking forward to it, but I intend to make him wait for sex this time.

 

I actually felt very attracted to another man today and made me wonder if perhaps it's better for me to find someone else rather than this guy who constantly needs space and runs away from me even though I give him tons of space.

 

I know my feelings are all over the place and change by the hour.

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DAY 28

 

4 WEEKS!!! After ignoring calls, texts, and IMs, I'm sad to say I had to respond to one last week. But it was so she could send me back some of my stuff, so it was about me, not her. I'm waiting till at least day 30 to let her know I received my stuff, then I'm going NC again for the interim. She's moving accross the country soon, I'm pretty sure to be with her LDR boyfriend, so we'll see if she cuts off contact all together, or if she ends up getting in touch a few times a month like she used to.

 

Overall, I'm feeling MUCH better than I have in the months since the break-up, but it still irks me that it seems she's doing well. Something inside me wants her to be miserable like she used to be. Maybe she is, but she's putting on a happy face for me.

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Day 15

 

I miss having sex with him. Wish I could have hot make-up sex with him right now.

 

^Ughh I hear ya, this has been on my mind A LOT lately, to the point I realize I may not even want a relationship with him again... I may just miss how great the sex was, and I'm afraid I'm not going to find that intense spark with anyone else.

 

Well, it's day 19. I need to stop counting the days so I can move forward, I feel like it's holding me back a bit. I was near your place last night, I originally had plans to call you.. but I didn't. I also had an urge to drive past your house on the way home and see if your car (or your ex's) was there. But, I realize that would have been a waste of time. I may be pathetic for still thinking about you so much, but at least I haven't and will never resort to full-blown stalker mode haha

 

Also, it's been almost twenty days and still haven't heard from you. It's a blow to my self-esteem and it's hard for me to swallow that chances are you just aren't interested in me anymore.

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Don't get discouraged unless he hasn't made any contact by 8 weeks. Keep the faith until then. Takes men forever to realize how much they care about someone they've lost. Then the feelings come on really strong and it seems like they can't live without you. This has happened to me both times a guy broke up with me when there was nothing really wrong with the relationship, he was just being distant and cold and didn't seem to feel the same way about me.

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As the title of this thread states its a NO CONTACT CHALLENGE. I need some help to endure this challenge. Its been 3 months since break up and 20 days strict NC. Its Friday, I am restless and I want to contact him. I want to get together. Somebody stop me!

 

Helpmetoheal,

Imagine him ignoring your contact. Imagine his arrogant grin while ignoring you while thinking to himself *you have got to be kidding me, still not over me?*

Imagine the consequence: pain.

 

On the other hand imagine yourself phoning a good friend instead, having a good conversation that will make you laugh. Imagine yourself phoning that friend and thinking to yourself : if I can be strong enough now to keep up the NC I sure as h**l can keep it up for a couple more months!

Imagine the consequence: happiness.

 

It's cruel but it might stop you, for me it did the trick

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talked again, broke NC.

i have no problem with this, if shes instigates and we start to make leeway to a point where we can be friends and go from there. she knew she was in the wrong, was sorry admitted to trying to wind me up on purpose, sorry blah blah blah, i responded with a simple ok, speak to you later when my heads clear! i think that's fair enough, and i will! if her heads clear and mine is, i am happy with that, i can go from there. but not until thats the case, my anger has died down knowing that. i feel much better

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Day 16

I'm not feeling as good today. Weekends are more difficult. I'm less confident that he'll be back, and even if he does come back, how could the relationship ever be the same. How could I ever feel secure.

 

I was head over heels after about a year in the relationship. Things could not have been better. Then we had a threesome with a girl (twice) and he fell for her and our relationship slowly fell apart over 2 months. Then he dumped me for her. It was so stupid to have a threesome, let alone twice with the same girl, but I wanted to please him and I actually felt very secure in the relationship at the time. And the way it all went down, how we bumped into her so randomly on the street, how she was looking for a job at the same company he works for, I feel like this whole situation was meant to happen. A challenging growth experience for me.

 

I talked to my psychic again yesterday. He's no longer angry that I didn't want to be friends, he realizes it was stupid to expect that. She said he knows I won't contact him but wishes he could get an email from me, even one telling him to * * * * off, just so he knows I'm thinking of him. He wonders if I'm thinking of him and he wonders every day if someone else has snatched me up.

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Day 16

I'm not feeling as good today. Weekends are more difficult. I'm less confident that he'll be back, and even if he does come back, how could the relationship ever be the same. How could I ever feel secure.

Yeah, weekends are horrible. But so are mornings. You just lay there in bed staring at the ceiling or window....

]I was head over heels after about a year in the relationship. Things could not have been better. Then we had a threesome with a girl (twice) and he fell for her and our relationship slowly fell apart over 2 months. Then he dumped me for her. It was so stupid to have a threesome, let alone twice with the same girl, but I wanted to please him and I actually felt very secure in the relationship at the time.

Was gonna tell you "I shouldh't have to tell you this, but I think you now see the mistake in getting involved in that kind of thing...", but reading your post more closely, you acknowledge that.

The threesome usually only benefits the guy, whose more than willing to "experiment" like that and get so sexually satisfied on his end. Those things - like FWB - are dangerious and can kill your relationship.

 

No, I don't have any experience with that kind of thing, nor ever wanted two or more women at a time..

I talked to my psychic again yesterday. He's no longer angry that I didn't want to be friends, he realizes it was stupid to expect that. She said he knows I won't contact him but wishes he could get an email from me, even one telling him to * * * * off, just so he knows I'm thinking of him.

 

He wonders if I'm thinking of him and he wonders every day if someone else has snatched me up.

Don't ever give him that satisfaction, either way, of responding in a PM, text, email or phone call.

 

Remember, remaining friends helps the dumper heal. Staying in NC helps YOU heal and move on.

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