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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


SuperDave71
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day 4

abit harder today, stupidly i am expecting a good night text or good morning, i can work with that it gives abit of hope, will keep me on the right track, with out any little crumb like that as the days pass i can see it getting even harder and myself trying to figure out why! as is the case with most others i just want to pick up the phone and ring her straight away.

the weekend will be a big tester i can see that. i am going to be with my mates for the first time since NC, and we will be out having fun...no problem with that it will do me good, but i will be drinking and i gotta stay strong, i wont be taking my phone out that's for sure, no drunken texts or anything.

i am glad i didn't delete her facebook though. i do glance at her profile and it does me good, seeing her pictures, i love her so much, and as she asked for some space it enables me to give it to her, it was her wish and my love for her will allow that. its stopping me from picking the phone up, and it is also helping me set goals for myself, i need to be better and to be clearheaded and confident and strong, and i can be in a good place if she decides she ever wants me back, and if not i can go from there again from a much improved starting place, a better person

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You have me really confused after the stunt you pulled yesterday. I won't call you on it though. Just please leave my children alone. If you have a question ask me, don't approach their friends or them for anything. You know where I live and you have my number. The first one is a freebie, the next time it happens, there will be consequences for you. Does the word probation mean anything to you? Remember, you're the one who called me psycho!

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I am not going to answer the text of your friend. Because I am afraid that you are completely over me and it would be a fantastic ego boost to read a text from me saying I am not. I know if I were you I would read it that text and laugh out loud in a very evil manner thinking to myself * aw poor thing, you're STILL not over me?*

So...... no.... I will just leave you wondering if I am. Amazing how much energy I can waste thinking about a simple text message.

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Today I had a bit of a breakthrough I think. Not contacting is getting easier, I realize I want to contact the you that wants me... not the you that doesn't want me. I have no interest in wanting somebody who was okay with letting me go. Yes, I'm having a crazy hard time getting over you and yes, I would be elated right now if I heard from you, but the fact is... I haven't heard from you so I have to assume that you don't want me. As tough as it is to swallow, I have to accept it because only then will I be able to move on.

 

 

This is golden!!!! About to start day 14, and just used this to help me a lot! You're right in the sense, I do want to contact her, but I don't want to contact a cold and unreceptive her, I want to contact the her that is going to ask when am I coming over next, I want to contact the her that is going to ask me to come snuggle.. not whoever the hell she is right now.

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DAY 20

 

Almost 3 weeks......But tonight I get a text from my ex asking if I'm doing alright since she hasn't heard from me in a while (I've been staying off AIM and keeping any and all internet activities to a minimum). NC has been getting easier, and when I got her texts I didn't have that empty feeling in my chest I used to get. I've been keeping busy and focusing on work and having fun. Sucks for her that she didn't get in touch closer to day 28 or 29!

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i was gonna contact her on day 7, i can't do what u guys r doing....yeah maybe i'm just weak

 

It's tough, but you'll get through it. This is actually my second or third period of NC. Each time before this I would just wait until she contacted me first (Usually about 3 weeks), but in the back of my mind I was hoping that every phone call, email, IM, etc. would be from her. Now I've gone 3 weeks into NC and threw this mindset out the window, and it's become much easier. It was actually a surprise when I saw she texted me today because...Well...I actually forgot she existed!

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23 days! The weird thing sometimes I think it's getting harder to not contact her. At first I actually thought it wasn't that bad, relatively of course. But the last couple of days have been the hardest of all for some reason. I guess because I'm starting to really feel that separation. I went on a date with another girl today too. I didn't really feel it with her, probably because its too soon, but it feels good to be at least out meeting people. My social network really shrank when I was in a relationship.

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Day 11

 

Ughh, looked at his facebook tonight. He's on vacation with his single guy friends, and just added a really pretty girl who is from there. They must have met last night, now I get to imagine them spending all weekend together. I hate this, thank god I can no longer see his pictures. I wonder what will go through his mind when he gets back and has to go back to his daily routine without me. He was so excited about this vacation that I know for the past 11 days I wasn't on his mind at all, he had something exciting to look forward to, I wonder if once that's over and he has to come back to reality if he'll miss me or not... I guess only time will tell.

 

I really wish I wouldn't have seen that

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Ugh, almost had a relapse. Still have 10 days left, but I feel almost guilty about letting her text go unanswered. I already ignored a text from her a few weeks ago, and I'm wondering if all this ignoring is pissing her off. I was considering sending her a text saying "Hey, I've been busy planning to go away for the weekend. Talk next week?" But then I thought it'd be better just to leave it unanswered. Thoughts?

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Day 30: I made it through 30 days of NC! It feels pretty good to make it so far. I feel a lot better since the break up- I'm not as angry or depressed. I'm able to go on dates with other guys and focus on my school work. It was definitely good for me to go NC, but I still haven't decided exactly what my next step will be. I want to stay in NC until I'm sure of what I'm doing, but I probably won't be posting here anymore. I'll try to start writing in my healing journal on another thread.

 

Good luck to everyone else doing NC! Just stay strong! You may not be back together with your ex, but if you focus on you and don't expect them to contact you, you're on your way to healing and getting your life back together. I still love my ex and hope we'll be together some day, but if not, at least I know I can bounce back from heartbreak.

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NC1 11 days, NC2 3 days, NC3 10 days

 

Feeling angry right now, maybe too much reading here makes me re-live the hurtful even and makes it difficult to detach from the situation. yeah, also had my ex ex contacting me and putting all the blame of her life misery on my shoulders... trying to make me feel guilty... I can not take this s**t anymore...

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day 5

she has contacted me once, on Wednesday morning, text message asking how my job interview went, i feel bad for not answering, it was a simple enough question. i didn't tell her i was going NC, so im forever wondering if shes pissed off. gonna be a hard day today, off out later with the lads for the first time since we split, im gonna try my best to get her out of my mind and have some fun, otherwise with a few drinks things could get bad, turning into a blubbering mess and trying to contact her! for some reason i feel like expressing some snide comments to her, i don't know what, that's just my mood towards her today i guess, but NC

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Day 12: So after your little 'how are you' msg on day 7 (that I ignored) I have thought about when you are going to text again, that was until today. Today I feel I am accepting this - yesterday I was up and down and yes I still check the phone, but today I realise if after 6 years that's all you can say, then you didn't deserve me. In the end I dodged a bullet (even though it took a long time) but you lost something really precious (you just didn't realise it). Maybe you will maybe you will convince yourself otherwise but I hope it hurts when the realisation smacks you in the face that I am gone.

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Day 2 & 3

 

In a deep hole. That's how I've been feeling the last couple of days. I keep telling myself time will heal my wounds and I'll move on like I always do. But it's just almost unbearable the last couple days.

 

In the mornings, I wake up missing you. Which then leads me to figuring out ways to get back to you. Finding excuses to see you one more time. I just want to run away. Leave my current life and start somewhere new - somewhere I will never have to see you again. Somewhere I won't be reminded of you by everything in this city.

 

I love you so much and I know we both don't have negative feelings towards each other. I tried to find some reasons to hate you - it's really hard to. I wish you the very best and hope you are doing ok.

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Day 2 & 3

 

In a deep hole. That's how I've been feeling the last couple of days. I keep telling myself time will heal my wounds and I'll move on like I always do. But it's just almost unbearable the last couple days.

 

In the mornings, I wake up missing you. Which then leads me to figuring out ways to get back to you. Finding excuses to see you one more time. I just want to run away. Leave my current life and start somewhere new - somewhere I will never have to see you again. Somewhere I won't be reminded of you by everything in this city.

 

I love you so much and I know we both don't have negative feelings towards each other. I tried to find some reasons to hate you - it's really hard to. I wish you the very best and hope you are doing ok.

 

 

I feel exactly the same way. The only thing has been in my mind is to run to somewhere and start over. i has been a bit more than two weeks and i broke the NC two days ago..Now i am in a situation i cant decide whehter i want to see him again to get hurt all over or i just go back to NC..feeling hurt..indeed

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Well, I resisted the advice of NC as long as I could. I told him yesterday and he cried and begged to stay friends. So today I feel miserable for myself and horrible for making him so sad. Woke up crying and regretting my decision but I know I have to see it through. He asked me "when can I see you again? In a few weeks?" (I guess he didn't realize I was talking about this being an indefinite thing) and I said "when you want to work on getting back together".

 

I know he'll be fine. He's funny, social, outgoing, people are drawn to him. I've lost not only the best friend I ever had, but my only friend in the world. I envy all of you saying how you're going to go out with your friends and take your mind off your ex. I don't have anybody anymore.

 

I can't believe I chose to end the friendship we were maintaining. It was my last shred of happiness since the break up. But it wasn't getting us back together. So here goes day 1..

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I need advice. about a month ago my girl started getting all stressed due to some family pressure about me, school, work.... and of course the last couple of months of our relationship i got stressed about a lot of things too. I got jealous a few times of her and did some dumb things that i totally regret. I made her feel i didn't trust her. The thing is I really did. But she is so beautiful she gets hit on about 30 times a day because she is a waitress. I heard so many stories about all of it i kind of got tired of it and lectured her on being to flirty and not realizing she's making guys think they have a chance by being to nice.... (stupid i know).

 

She was totally in love with me. she did everything to make me happy. i mean everything. bought things, changed her hair color cause she thought i preferred brunettes, told me daily that she wanted to marry me. i mean she gave me the best love anyone ever had. But because i didn't see all these signs i guess she felt i wasn't committed. But i was always very very good to her. i treated her like a person and not a piece of meat that most guys think she is. (she is model beautiful)

 

ANyway she told me about a month ago she needed space and didn't know what she wanted anymore. I got mad and threw a fit. then for about a week I did all the texting and apologizing. then finally about a week ago i told her i agree with the breakup and i wished her well and then we started reminiscing together about the good times.

 

I wanted to do no contact but she texts me everyday. I don't always respond to every text but i haven't initiated any contact in two weeks. it's been her everytime. She got me a dog because i'm getting an new apartment, and i told her to keep it cause i don't have anywhere to put it. she keeps sending me pics of the dog and of her with it. talking about it. i usually respond but it's never talk about us together. she shies away from that and i don't push it.

 

Then one day i met her at walmart to look at dog stuff and it had been a couple of weeks since i seen her. she bragged about the way i looked (i lost wieght got me some abs now!!) she even kissed me there. i get a text the next day saying you've changed but in a good way.

 

Yesterday i got my apartment. she was asking me about it and need a place for this dog, she calls our dog. when i told her i was on my way to go look at it she said she was there and kind of hinted she wanted to see it. when i got there she complimented my looks again. she made an advance on me kissed me and held me and then she says OMG your skinny, but like in a strong way. then she lifted up my shirt and saw my abs and acted like she got blushy. I just acted all nonchalant.

 

Still though she doesn't really ever bring up us as a couple, or says i love you anymore. I'm not sure no contact is good at this point as i really don't know if she's getting back into me or just hanging around. she has upped the contact quite a bit from just texting to calling and talking to me.

 

I never bring up the relationship. I'm trying to act like either way i'm fine. i feel like she's playing games but i'm just not real sure. she enjoys hanging out with her friends more and more and hasn't asked me out or anything. she seems about halfway in, but apprehensive. yet giving me suttle signs she's not totally done.

 

If i cut off contact i might piss her off cause if she's trying to open back up and i just ignore her that might ruin it i think. how should i get her to fully miss me and be all in like she was?

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I went on a date with another girl today too. I didn't really feel it with her, probably because its too soon, but it feels good to be at least out meeting people. My social network really shrank when I was in a relationship.

 

Been there and done that.

You probably won't "feel" it for awhile......but someday you will.

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day 5

its been a very hard day today, i have been checking on her FB, i know i shouldn't but couldn't help myself, and i am not ready to delete her yet, i am being strong though, i wont break NC. she posted last night about having to talk o her friends after being all sad, but today shes all happy and cheerful and laughing and joking, and looking forward to going out tonight! its a good job i am going out to or id have moped about being really miserable (more so). i hope she sends me some drunk text messages or tries to ring me, my phones staying at home so no way i will reply, i do want to know shes thinking of me though, especially when shes going out having fun

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