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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


SuperDave71
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Broke NC... I sent him a one-line mail telling him that I missed him...

I'm such an idiot!!!!

 

It feels way worse since he didn't respond to that e-mail....What was I even thinking???!!!!! If he missed me or wanted me he wouldn't have left me...! And here I'm throwing my heart before someone who would just trample on it....!!!!

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Three weeks or day 21. It's getting easier. The only thing i need to cut out is the checking of the Facebook page and I know I should have deleted her but we have all the same friends as we have known each other for a long time, even before dating. It would be easier if we didn't hang out with all the same people. I just don't want to seem dramatic. Deleting at this point I think would violate the Non-Chalantness?

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NC-1 11 days, NC-2 3 days, NC-3 7 days

Today I completed one week NC. I diffused an attempt by my brain to send her a short message.. a link regarding congitive dissonance... that was un necessarly... I I was struggling on hear behalf to make her change her position... I decided to take care of my feelings and let her feelings for her to manage

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I hate myself. I'm back to Day 1. I should have just ignored your text messages. Now I'm back to exactly the way I felt after our break up. Let this be a lesson people! Stick to the plan!

 

Day 1

 

I feel like crap today. I cried randomly today throughout the day. I am committed to letting you go. I will face my emotions and embrace them. I shall not run away from them.

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Broke NC. Can't do it anymore..... I have done the same thing a ton of times, I think its par for the course I am presently on day nine she broke up with me Mid November. I would resolve to nc have high emotion come up, (either anger or some kind of nostalgic gratitude), and break down and text or email. I have gone as a month tops nc my goal is two. It hurrrrrrrrttttts!! a lot of the time I know. I don't know you but I know you deserve to be happy and free!
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NC-1 11 days, NC-2 3 days, NC-3 8 days

I woke up feeling angry today... angry with myself because I let myself fall, I that ignored all the red flags that I saw and crossed all the red signals... I took deep dive in the deep sh**. I didn't know how deep it was until I realized how long it is taking me to get out of it...

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Day 27: I'm starting to feel a little better. Part of me is releasing you, I can feel you slipping through my fingers. I'm scared because I don't want to lose you. But I need to let go first and heal myself before we can ever possibly get back together or be friends.

 

Day 28: I was very busy today and had a lot of work to do. I went to dance class and he was again, not there, as he had a different class to go to. I felt kind of relieved he wasn't there because I could just relax without worrying about trying to impress him or whatever. Normally, if he didn't show up, I'd get really upset/depressed. It's quite a change to be happy with him not there. But I need to work on being okay whether he's there or not. When he does show up, my non-chalance will be put to the test.

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Day 11 NC (entirely from me) - got a text Day 7 from ex asking how I was, which I blanked, but nothing since.

 

Feeling okay, not crying as much, still checking the phone though (not as much but still doing it nonetheless). Feel my own sense of worth and value coming back.

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Don't know how many days it's been.

5? 6?

Whatever.

 

Starting to feel good again. Had a small bout of depression monday night, but after going out and getting 2 phone numbers I felt better by the time I went to sleep.

 

I'm starting to accept things.

If only you knew what you truly missed out on.

Such a shame.

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Day 1...

She met me yesterday for "closure"... I told her this is probably the last time she will ever hear about me...I told her I won't block her. I'm just disappearing to heal and move on...we hugged, she asked me to text when I get home..idid and then deleted her from fb...I feel like craaaaaap

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day 3

hmmmmmmmmm

big mistake checking on Facebook. i am not one for paranoia or over analyzing things, but i wont be looking on her page again, no good comes from it!

she put a status about it being a happy day, but a painful one, i thought well one of them two has gotta be about me, or maybe both, maybe shes happy i have stopped bothering her.

turned out she went for a tattoo i forgot she had booked, happy for the tattoo and hurt alot.

 

hahaha NO FACEBOOK for me anymore

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day 3

hmmmmmmmmm

big mistake checking on Facebook. i am not one for paranoia or over analyzing things, but i wont be looking on her page again, no good comes from it!

she put a status about it being a happy day, but a painful one, i thought well one of them two has gotta be about me, or maybe both, maybe shes happy i have stopped bothering her.

turned out she went for a tattoo i forgot she had booked, happy for the tattoo and hurt alot.

 

hahaha NO FACEBOOK for me anymore

 

mine went for a tattoo too once we broke up, whatsup with that?

i deleted fb my friend, was a big move that i had to take! dunno if it was the right thing to do

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mine went for a tattoo too once we broke up, whatsup with that?

i deleted fb my friend, was a big move that i had to take! dunno if it was the right thing to do

 

yeah she had one planned anyway, but it turned out she got another one, i dread to think what that's about and the reasoning behind what ever it is she chose.

 

yeah i don't think i can manage to do the Facebook yet, it sends out a big message, its a pretty severe cut.

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yeah she had one planned anyway, but it turned out she got another one, i dread to think what that's about and the reasoning behind what ever it is she chose.

 

yeah i don't think i can manage to do the Facebook yet, it sends out a big message, its a pretty severe cut.

 

all the advice here says do it, and i was checking her fb everyday, couldn't live with all the pressure and the hidden messages...now i search her, and look at her profile pic and sigh

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Day 10

 

Today I had a bit of a breakthrough I think. Not contacting is getting easier, I realize I want to contact the you that wants me... not the you that doesn't want me. I have no interest in wanting somebody who was okay with letting me go. Yes, I'm having a crazy hard time getting over you and yes, I would be elated right now if I heard from you, but the fact is... I haven't heard from you so I have to assume that you don't want me. As tough as it is to swallow, I have to accept it because only then will I be able to move on.

 

I have wasted the past 10 days thinking about you non-stop, being depressed, and neglecting myself. I stopped working out, I have been eating chocolate like it's my job, I haven't bothered putting on makeup. Starting tomorrow, I'm waking up with a new frame of mind. You no longer exist in my world. It's time for me to shift my focus from you to me. I hope when you get back from your vacation next week and reality settles in, that you feel the loneliness that I have felt and realize you made a mistake. If you try to contact me, I guarantee you won't be getting a response from me. You were willing to let me go, so I'm gone.

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NC1 11 days, NC2 3 days, NC3 9 days

 

will break the 11 days NC record over the weekend... this is good psychological barrier to cross..

 

the feeling of wanting to reconnect is fading away... I do not feel apetite for other women... I am afraid this is the psychological damage that this break-up has done... this intentional killing of emotions in the name of "moving on" is actually "moving without" ie leaving the emotions behind... am going to be the same after person after that? poor the next partner!

 

the meaning of being in a relationship is losing its purpose for me.. what is the point of being in relationship if the relationship of lifetime has caused me the biggest emotional pain in my life?

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Day 23 NC

I still miss him so much and I constantly wonder if he misses me too but I've accepted the fact that we arent meant to be together for now but who knows maybe someday we will be. I've also started to adjust with being single, NC has really helped me heal and made it easier for me to survive this break up.

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Day 29: A normal day just focusing on getting my work done. I'm also working on socializing more and being more vocal. My ex said I can't keep letting people walk all over me- and he has a point. I feel like these last few days I've made some real natural progress. I don't feel as much anger or depressive feelings towards my ex. I'm okay with the thought of letting him go- I can survive. I still miss him so much but I need to heal.

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all the advice here says do it, and i was checking her fb everyday, couldn't live with all the pressure and the hidden messages...now i search her, and look at her profile pic and sigh

 

It hurt SO much in the beginning to see my ex's profile but now I've managed to control myself and not look at it. I don't want to delete him because to me, it seems a little childish...but I DO understand that it might be easier for a lot of people to move on if you cut off Facebook. If you're finding that you can't resist the temptation to look, then by all means, do it! Don't cause yourself more pain!

 

Hehe.. I also use my Facebook profile to post up photos and update every once in a while to show him all the improvements and changes I'm making in my life.. heehee Well, I guess that only works if he's been tempted to look at my profile...

Edited by xiRoCb294
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