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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


SuperDave71
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I have gone through the same - Though I am not the strongest person to advice on NC but I managed to be on NC for more than 1.5 months - Best way is to accept the present situation and not to think of the future because nobody knows what is there in the future - Pain is because you dont accept the present situation and try to derive your future out of it - And dont think about it much and try to get yourself involved in some activities - I hope it helps - Best of luck

 

I am so proud of you harsh284.

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Yesterday was my birthday. His best friend suddenly texted me with the question if I was over my ex. I ignored the question and answered the other ones. I feel weird about it though. It makes me wonder.. was my ex sitting right next to him? Is this a test? It's a bit strange to say the least.

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Day 19 NC.

I'm feeling empty and bored. I'm used to having someone to love and be excited about but now being single feels weird. I do need time to be single after this break up but I also want to be approached to boost my self esteem. I wonder how long it will take for someone to approach me.

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Day 7

 

I thought this would get easier, but the longer I go without seeing you, the more I want to see you. I would do anything just to have one night with you and get some closure of some sort. I wish you would've at least done something awful to me so I'd have an easier time letting go. And even though I am realizing that the chances of seeing you again are slim to none at this point, I don't want to accept it. I was sitting there today at work thinking of some of our best memories together, replaying them in my head, realizing that I will never have that again with you. The worst part of this week has been the dreams at night, and me waking up to see you not next to me. This is killing me, I just want you out of my head.

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Still haven't heard from you... What a surprise. Accepting that it may never happen. I know I screwed up, but you weren't perfect either. I know I'll never make the same mistakes again. But hey, if you don't want to give me another chance than that's your loss!

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Day 7:

 

What a day, I messed myself up last night listening to break up songs I posted, I will not be posting any more of that! I don't get it how could I be so sure of something and then she left ? I'm sick of trying to act like im doing OK, I feel like I have been trying to blow sunshine up my own posterior (its hard not to swear). I'm wrecked, I'm really really sad, I feel so alone, things were bad a lot, but we were friends to I miss her. I cant do this I cant act like I'm doing OK! What is the point? I really have no idea how to go to work tomorrow I cant stand it. I put myself out there way too much, I guess I put too much on this relationship.

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Yesterday was my birthday. His best friend suddenly texted me with the question if I was over my ex. I ignored the question and answered the other ones. I feel weird about it though. It makes me wonder.. was my ex sitting right next to him? Is this a test? It's a bit strange to say the least.

Happy birthday Moonchill! Could the best friend potentially be interested?

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Day 13

 

I didn't really count for the last couple days. I tried to spend most of time with my friends and I felt ok. Once in a while I really wanted to contact him but I managed not to. I will head out of town for 5 days starts from 31st. So I guess it is a good thing. Well..my birthday will come soon..I bet that day I won't feel ok..let us see. Just kinda of live day by day now.

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Day 26: Today I had an extremely busy day. I went to my dance class, but my ex didn't show up. I hung out with my friend afterward and we got lunch together. Then I did my homework for a few hours. And for dinner, I had a guy take me out to eat and he payed for me. I guess I could say it's a date since he also seems interested in me. This would be the second guy I've been on a 'date' with during NC. It's nice to go out and keep myself busy, meet new people, and see what else is out there. It's just so hard to see potential in other guys when my ex was everything I ever wanted.

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Day 1

 

I don't want to accept this challenge. But since I want my guy back, I will do anything it takes to get him back. It's been just 2 weeks since the breakup, but it seems like eternity. I just wish so much that someone would wake me up and tell me this was nothing but a nightmare, and the man I trusted with my life still loves me and hasn't betrayed my trust in him. I love him more with every passing moment, and it hurts to know that the love I show him and have always shown him for the past 4 years is of no account to him anymore. When he told me that he no longer loves me, I felt like dying. I have been dying a thousand deaths since then.

 

I haven't blocked him off on FB or chat. I need to keep in touch with him for work, but am going to try to have enough self control not to take the initiative to buzz him first. If he gets in touch with me I will respond with just what I have to, but I guess that's it. I don't know if NC will work or whether it will drive him further away from me. But I don't have anything to lose anymore by trying - I've already lost a lot. I just hope that things will get better and that he will come back to me soon. I don't hate him nor am I angry with him. I know that circumstances have pulled us apart. What I regret is that I didn't see this coming...If I had to, probably I would have worked on it better and we could have fixed our relationship before it came to this stage.

 

Two days back he sent me a chat message: "Goodnight. Love u." I didn't respond because I didn't know what to say. He took the initiative yesterday morning to do mail me something that I needed a lot. And then we were back to bickering last night. I so want to settle things between us. I hope NC gives him to realize that we are meant for each other.

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Ugh tonight has been just horrible. I've been crying for almost an hour nonstop. All I did was creep your facebook profile, and I shouldn't have done that. It's so hard to see that you're still there but I can't contact you I miss you like crazy.... I miss you more than anything. Do you know that?

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This is just what I'm going through too. Mixed signals can be very hard. It's awful to get him throw his temper on me for the least things, to tell me that he no longer loves me, then for him to send me a text with the words "Love u", and then to throw his temper on me again and tell me that it's over. As you said, there are so many questions that are unanswered, and my heart is sick trying to resolve them. Yes, he too told me that in time, once things settle down, maybe he will love me again. But he also told me not to do things expecting him to accept me again, because he doesn't want me to be disappointed again. I too am clinging to that hope, praying that one day he will come back. Weekends are horrible...I'm alone and he is with his friends. I try to remember that what started it off was that he felt he needed more space...so I'm trying to give him his space. I'm just on day 1 of NC... I hope it works.

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DAY 17

 

This is getting easier and easier every day, and my mind is pretty much off my ex. But that's because I had a party at my house this weekend and ended up sleeping with a girl who was there. Now I'm having that several-day awkward period where I feel great and dirty at the same time. One-night stands were never my thing.

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Day 8. I'm starting to regain some of my lost confidence,focusing on my studies, and my laughter has returned. I'm still slightly irritable and miss her but now I have the sense that everything is going to be ok.

 

hi thagator, if you are into reading heavy duty stuff.. read this article about cognitive dissonance and it will answer all your unanswered questions: (if you do please let me know what you think)

 

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As a Psychology major I've always found the theory of cognitive dissonance to be fascinating. Interesting to see it applied here on ENA.

 

hi thagator, if you are into reading heavy duty stuff.. read this article about cognitive dissonance and it will answer all your unanswered questions: (if you do please let me know what you think)

 

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Day 2

 

I had such a beautiful dream last night. I dreamt that he sent me a beautiful mail that he was sorry about the entire thing and that he wanted me back. I'm so sad that it was just a dream. wish the world would disappear and I could die of this pain. I'm trying hard not to email him and tell him of the dream. hope I will succeed. I miss him so badly. I love him more than my life. its been 2 weeks since the breakup. the pain is just increasing. I don't know if there is hope for me.

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As a Psychology major I've always found the theory of cognitive dissonance to be fascinating. Interesting to see it applied here on ENA.

 

hello spanks,

 

I have been dumped and I am on day 7 NC after serveral attempts to negotiate reconciliation... the article on cognitive dissonance gives the real answer to her decision for break-up in the sense that she felt discomfort in continueing with me for conflicting character differences me while she still likes me...

 

Is it wise idea to email her the article of congintive dissonance without comments for her to understand her own behavior change, or is going to be seen as yet another attempt from to reconcile and then lose all my 7 day NC down the drain?

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I'm new in this thread. Day 1, for the third and final time. We broke up 2 weeks ago. I love her, but she has turned the cold shoulder after 2 1/2 years of being together. Loved me one day, nada the next. Like she flipped a switch. She wrote some great things pointing to our future a week before our break up for my birthday. Made this nice memory box of past and future to come, etc... Whatever. Oh well, the hell with it. I tried and that is all that matters. The breakup was not bad and nothing worth regretting was said thank goodness. I have learned from that in the past. However, I wanted to express how I felt just to let her know that I do love her in the end.

 

I admire all of you after trolling this thread for 2 weeks now. We can get through this together. Although, I'm just so Dam* ticked off right now, its what I need to move on.

 

As for you baby, I loved you and you decided that you had a gut feeling that we were not meant to be together long term. So that is what you went by. No good reasoning, nothing. F, you and its your loss. I will move on and you will be in the rear view mirror. Very soon you will be replaced. But yes, you will still have a very small place in my heart. I hate you and will never forget what you did.

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Day 2

 

I had such a beautiful dream last night. I dreamt that he sent me a beautiful mail that he was sorry about the entire thing and that he wanted me back. I'm so sad that it was just a dream. wish the world would disappear and I could die of this pain. I'm trying hard not to email him and tell him of the dream. hope I will succeed. I miss him so badly. I love him more than my life. its been 2 weeks since the breakup. the pain is just increasing. I don't know if there is hope for me.

 

Struggling a lot

I had to send him an e-mail with an update on work. It's so hellishly hard to be formal or distant with him when my heart is yearning to hear his voice and to just have him back...

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