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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


SuperDave71
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Barx, that's a very valid reason. I hope you are ok?

 

Yes, I'm okay. Not a scratch on me despite the fact I almost went through the windshield. I did crack it with my face, though.

 

Not much concern on her part other than "at least ur okay."

Whatever.

 

Day 3.

 

We spoke on AIM for a brief period Saturday morning. We spoke of nothing in particular. Just little bullsh*t.

She randomly stopped responding, and I haven't heard from her since; despite the fact we've both been online in the last couple days.

 

Yesterday I put on my AIM status something along the lines of: "uh oh, 'baRx' got himself a date =D!' and I know she's seen it. I did have a date set up, and was excited about it so I just put it there. My "date" turned sour when she stopped responding, though, so it's back to nothing.

And no, my "date" didn't see the status as she does not know my screen name.

 

That's a shame.

 

I don't plan on talking to "ex" or whatever she's to be called. She really shows no concern in anything but herself. Ive explained how unhappy I was being her friend several times - and she does nothing to fix it. She knows how I feel about her, and she says nothing about how she feels.

Over the last year and a half I've gotten little tid-bits of "you mean the world to me even though I never showed you" in one of her weak depressed moments, and also got a "you have no idea what you mean to me" despite the fact that she's done absolutely nothing to back that up.

I've even got a "this is the 'baRx' i could fall hard for." when I was trying to be sweet with her once. COULD fall for....but won't no matter what I do or say, or however long i continue to suffer.

Tease me some more, please.

 

All in all.... its day 3 and counting.

Edited by baRx
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Day 13 NC

 

Tomorrow it will be two weeks. WOW! I never would have imagined we'd go that long without contact. How am I feeling? Glad I blocked him on Facebook. Haven't cried today. Tried to just focus on being back at school and not thinking about it. I definitely do not think he will be contacting me anytime soon... I'm kind of glad I don't expect it anymore. I do wish I could talk to him. I still have that urge to break NC. But I know I don't need that rejection. Plus, I'm not sure things could ever be ok with us again. I'm not the kind that just forgives and forgets. But if he came back now, would I be that strong? I'm not sure.

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Day 9

 

I was doing well in the morning. By the afternoon, you were stuck in my mind. But I told myself if I truly loved you, I would let you go. It's what you wanted and I have to let you go. In the mean time, I started planning what I'm going to be doing for the next few weeks and months. I'm excited about the future. But fearful about how I'm going to react when I see you again.

 

Miss you lots buddy.

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Day 21: I went to my dance club today and very few people showed up. Since we're performing in a few months the choreographer asked if any of us have seen or talked to the other members because we need as many people as possible. Even though my ex is in the club too, he hasn't showed up yet this quarter. And I was proud of myself for being able to say that I haven't talked to him. I'm the only one of us there that knew his phone number, but I'm not going to text it. He has to realize what life is like without me for a little while longer...

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NC-1 11 days, NC-2 3 days, NC-3 1 day

Not sure what to say, still in mixed emotions state of mind.. but I am drifting towards forgiveness and healing... I told her in the last message I will keep you posted about something, but more likely that posting from me will never come...

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I guess I should be writing something along the lines of "Yay!! MAde it this far and Im through it!!" But to be honest, after three years with her Im still messed up I run each morning, got my six pack on the way back, cut drinking out altogether, joined an MMA class, moved from the UK to australia, planning on joining the navy but maaaan Im still finding it so very hard

 

I did so much for her. Took her to Oz to meet my folks for the first time Chrimbo and a month later she is seeing someone else and doesnt have the bottle to tell me she has cheated also, treated me like * * * * e and yet, for the first time in my (neearly 28 yr life) I am turly heartbroken...

 

I guess Im waiting til my birthday to see if I get contact, but then if I do - so what? I can and do deserve so much better. I guess its tough cos Im in a new country and dont know many people but Im trying. One day at a time and all that...

 

I miss you so much and one day you will realise the grass is not greener but when you do, I cant take you back, I want to more than anything hold you again, but I cant risk my heart again. I wouldnt survive it again.

 

-- Please wake up

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Today is day 9 NC. I have not been tempted to call yet. I took my FB down so you wouldn't keep tabs on me but I can't lie I just peeped at your fb profile through a mutual friend. your status said "confused" I wonder why? I am just as confused babe. I want you but we have so many unresolved issues, this is our second major break up!!!! something musty be wrong. Though i can call it a mutual break up, I suggested we part ways because you were getting distant and you agreed. So maybe for now it was the best thing to do. But I am open for a discussing see where we can take things. I miss you.

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Today was a rough day because it was 5 weeks since we broke up and 2 weeks since we talked. I guess I was maybe expecting you to contact me, especially because you had off of school... Stupid, right? I told myself it wouldn't happen... But deep down I was hoping it would. I wonder if you think of me at all. You don't seem sure about this breakup... With all the mixed signals you gave me and your friends... But doesn't your silence really speak volumes?

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Day 10

 

Today was pretty great. I was so busy with work and life that I didn't really think about you much. At the end of the night I did, but I need to keep reminding myself that I have to let you go. A part of me is hoping you stop contacting me for a very long time. I think it would help me heal since I won't be tempted/debate what to reply. I'm looking forward to a great summer. It sucks I won't be able to share it with you, but that's ok. I know you'll find your happiness.

 

Hope everyone is healing!

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It may be day 1...it may be day 50......sometimes I can't tell......but it feels like day 10,000

 

We both know we have to do this, and we know the promises we have made

 

but at the end of this day.......

 

I miss my best friend

 

 

"with an old suitcase I swear I'll leave this place,

I'll get you back in time

can't drink you off my mind

so I'll see you when I'm sober "

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Day 22: I still think about you, I still miss you. And today I found out a different ex (that I dated for 8 months) mentioned to me that he likes this other girl now. I'm kind of happy for him since it's been almost a year that we broke up; he had a hard time moving on because he said he was so in love with me. But when he told me he liked another girl, I didn't really get jealous, so I know for sure I no longer have feelings for him. Now if the recent ex contacted me and said he liked someone else... I would be so hurt. I hope that doesn't happen anytime soon.

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It was very difficult for me not to contact you yesterday. Not sure why, I have been doing better. I found myself thinking up different scenarios that I could use to contact you without seeming pathetic. I had a few good ideas, but I didn't give in. I did not contact you. The gut feeling has returned and I won't ignore it this time even though it hurts so much.

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Day 23: Today you sent out a mass e-mail to everyone in our dance class asking for schedules so we could pick a time to meet. I'm not responding since we're in no contact. And we already have days set up; either you didn't get the e-mail or no one told you about it. You can't always rely on me to remind you of these things. And in the one dining hall today I saw a mutual friend of ours who said hi to me. I'm trying so hard to just do my own thing and avoid you but you and your friends seem to be involved in everything I do or show up where I am.

I'm still missing you so much. I had a minor cry session today thinking about all the good times we had and how strong my feelings for you are. I'm at day 23 but sometimes it feels only like day 1. You're so fresh in my mind still.

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Day 15: I miss you more than I did on day one. I'm at a crossroads here. I will always love you but I want you to be happy, too. While I am truly happy you are doing well, I can't help but still wish you were my one and only. Sweet dreams.

 

Seemingly forever and always yours,

 

.

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Day 4: I have gone a month nc twice since we broke up 5 months ago. My personal challenge is two months nc now. The last text I sent was an apology for the nasty email I sent a month prior (upon seeing a picture of her and her new guy and her mom for the first time). Also thanking her for encouraging me to write my daughter a year ago because I was seeing her for the first time in 9 years that day. I wished her well asked her not to respond and explained it wasn't out of resentment but out of self preservation. Its over and done with.

 

wish I could have shared this event with you but you probably would have been jealous and made the whole thing a drag. WHY DO I MISS YOU?!!?

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Firstly well done to all you guys for sticking NC. It is the only way we will get better and its the only way they will realise if they can't be without us or not.

 

For me I was in a constant make up break up situation (6 year dumped by bf) - i was always the one making up - whenever i left him (max 8 days) he would contact me. But this time I am gone - it may be too late for him to feel anything but I can't let him think i am his forever whilst he treats me like this. Trouble is he is with someone else already!!!

 

It's day 5 of NC for me - have had no contact whatsoever during this time, the thing is it's the weekend aren't they so much harder?

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i just hate the fact he is constantly in my head even as background thoughts, it doesn't matter what i do he is there, i could be climbing mount everest, or jumping out of a plane he would still be there, that hold over me, how long does it take for that to break? i don't want those thoughts but they dont go

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I didn't post yesterday, but that was day 15 and today is day 16. Haven't heard anything from him. Really starting to think I'll never hear from him again, and it's a devastating thought... I just can't believe how little I meant to him... I keep going over the breakup and post-breakup in my mind ](*,) and I just can't make sense of it all. I personally feel like there are so many mixed signals... I think that's why I can't seem to accept he's gone for forever... But still, my hope is dwindling.

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i think they will show up when we are doing something really randon, when our minds no longer think of them and it will happen - trouble is thats too late for them then. i reckon 2 months cold turkey and we will be used to being on our own and have new habits etc, thing is my ex got with someone else, i dont know why anyone would want to jump straight into something else after 6 years with someone. the thought of dating hasnt entered my mind, if a guy comes near me in that way at the moment i am likely to run a mile!!!

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i think they will show up when we are doing something really randon, when our minds no longer think of them and it will happen - trouble is thats too late for them then. i reckon 2 months cold turkey and we will be used to being on our own and have new habits etc, thing is my ex got with someone else, i dont know why anyone would want to jump straight into something else after 6 years with someone. the thought of dating hasnt entered my mind, if a guy comes near me in that way at the moment i am likely to run a mile!!!

 

I think you're probably right about this. At least I hope when he comes back I'll be strong enough to turn him away. But right now I can't think of dating anyone else. Do you think in your case your ex jumped into a rebound relationship? After 6 years that seems like the best explanation...

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