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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


SuperDave71
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Ok, 28 days if we dont count the days when I checked if he signed on to the dating site. (I can refuse to answer his IMs but I cant controll to stop checking his page, did it once a day, now I do it every few days, so small steps). Yesterday he sent me an offline IM and I replied, but he was already offline. Now I'm waiting on him to contact me again. Stupid. Dont want to be waiting on it. Dont really have anything left to say to him, but I guess I was still hoping to talk to him. No, still hoping he tells me what I want to hear. Basically that he starts being honest. Its been 6 months, it gets better but when is it going to really stop?

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DAY 7

 

I think part of my recent resurgence in sadness over this half-year long break up was due to being sick and being alone as Spring is around the corner, as well. I had some friends over for St. Patty's Day last night and just tried to have as much fun as possible (Without going too crazy!).

 

Last night, though, I had another dream about my ex. I dreamt that she came to visit me and we were both very happy. She was kissing me and gave me a gift, which made me happy in the dream. Things went well, but right before she left she told me she was moving in with her new boyfriend. That kind of made the dream sour. But overall I had this euphoric feeling about it. I have no idea why I'm dreaming about her at this point, as I never really dreamt of her when we were together or right when we broke up. But it seems like every night this week she's been in my dreams.

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Day 9

 

If he doesn't contact me today (which I doubt he will) this will be the longest we've gone without talking. I'm sure he doesn't care. I'm the only one counting the days. Got back from Florida today... Good to be home... I'm sure he's on his way back, too. I can't stop thinking about how he replaced me on that trip. Surrounded himself with his friends so he still didn't have to think about the breakup. We spent hours talking about this trip and then it all fell through. I just wish we had shared those experiences...

 

Was playing back the last few weeks of our relationship while I was on the plane. Right before we broke up he wrote a poem about me and read it to his English class and it was so sweet people teared up... Also, he had a talk with his friend about how I should trust that he loves me and cares about me, not worry. But then he broke up with me... Told me he didn't love me... So wasn't the worrying justified?

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Day 15: Today I focused on me and worked on my project for my college class. I'm still thinking about him but I'm not hurting as much anymore.

 

Day 16: Today was my birthday! It was nice to have so many people say happy birthday to me, it made me feel like people did care about me and not to think that I need my ex to care about me. What did surprise me though was that he wished me a happy birthday, I thought it was nice of him to do that. I didn't start up a conversation with him though. Now that I'm a year older, I feel like it's extra motivation to get myself together and improve myself as a person.

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What happened, baRx? ( Don't feel obliged to answer that question if it's too personal

 

 

I got into a car accident and posted about it on AIM. She saw the post. Called me the following day, to which I missed, and told her I'd call her later. We talked for about 8 minutes, told her about what happened, then her brother came home or something and she said she'd talk to me later.

 

Haven't heard back.

 

Square one.

 

Back to zero.

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Day 5

 

Today I was doing really well. I didn't really think of you throughout the day. I had some great laughs, dreamt about the future, and ate some amazing food.

 

I'm getting ready for bed and I suddenly started to think about you. I want to tell you about my day and tell you how much I miss you. I thought about how I would react when I find out you're dating someone new. I think I'm going to be a mess.

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Day 4

 

It is really difficult since I think about him all the time throughout the day. It was a messy break up (Together for 8 months and lived together for like half a year, at the end I caught him with another girl. Went throw abortion alone and dramatic break up). I told him on the phone on Tuesday that i need stop talking with him for a while to get better. I told him not to call,text me for a month then let us see what will happen. Honestly my gut feeling tells me he won't contact me even after a month since he is so happy with the new girl now. I am trying to force myself to move on even it is really difficult. Time seems go so freaking slow..and i am counting on day by day, hopefully it will get better...

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Day 11 NC,

Today I broke the NC and sent her a letter. The reason for NC is healing. I considered myself healed (at least for the time being) so I thought I could break the NC and send a letter. Probably this is how my mind tricked me. I think my mind is smarter than me. Tomorrow I have an appointment with renewed pain

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Day 10 NC

 

It's been over a month since we broke up. Can't help thinking when he gets back from Florida he'll contact me and ask to meet up. I know it's crazy, but I can't help it. Going back to school tomorrow so that should help... Still hurt about what happened now over Spring Break. I've been thinking about everything a lot. I'm not sure I could take him back even if he wanted me back. I've been hurt so much by all of this... Woke up today and had forgotten we weren't together. Even after all this time... I feel like things get worse everyday. It's all so confusing.

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Day 6

 

Another great day. I got to spend time with a close friend and talked about life.

 

Then of course you had to send me a text message. Crumbs. I decided to hold off replying. But I decided it might be rude to ignore the text. So I replied with minimal information later in the day. I don't expect a response.

 

I'm going out tonight and living my life. I hope you are doing ok.

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Today is Day 4 NC for me and I accept this challenge to help stick it out. I haven't been tempted to contact her yet.I went through this already and knows how much of a pain that causes. But I do miss her a lot. I keep busy with work and flirt around ( not sure if that's a good thing but it's keeping me up)

 

26 more days to go!!! stay strong all

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Day 11 NC,

Today I broke the NC and sent her a letter. The reason for NC is healing. I considered myself healed (at least for the time being) so I thought I could break the NC and send a letter. Probably this is how my mind tricked me. I think my mind is smarter than me. Tomorrow I have an appointment with renewed pain

 

Today Day 1 NC, it could have been Day 12 NC if i did not break the silence yesterday.

 

Today is the tomorrow of yesterday. Yesterday I had an appointment with tomorrow. Tomorrow has come. Pain is here. Now it is not a matter of feeling the pain. It is a matter of refreshing the pain. Since I sent her a message yesterday, I am refreshing the pain with each click on the 'refresh' button of my gmail.

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I want to start by saying Happy Sunday Morning! Yes, HAPPY Sunday!!

 

There are many "newbies" just starting this challenge. What I am going to say, you have heard over & over again...NC & times heals. It does, you have to know & believe that it does. I am on day 34 of no contact & 71 days since I last saw him. Do I miss him? I do. Do I think about him daily? I do. But here I am on a Sunday morning feeling good. Really feeling good. When I 1st started NC, it was H*LL & I didn't know how I was going to survive a day, let alone a weekend, and making it to 30 days without contact seemed like eternity & like forever. You can read some of my earlier posts & see that I felt what all of you are feeling now & wanted help & direction & for the pain to go away so bad. The 1st one, maybe two weeks I spent on my couch, with my laptop & tissues & I cried & cried, was hurting, was numb, was so confused. My heart & world were shattered. Slowly, I took baby steps, getting out of my house, being around people, if only for a short period of time until I needed my comfort zone, my house, my couch. The 1st 2 weeks I kept in contact. Seemed like hundreds of text messages, emails. They got nasty, anything for a reaction right?? Well, I occasionally did get a reaction, never heard what I wanted to hear & the rejection continued & so did the pain.The last weekend I talked to him "WE" were both tossing around trying again. He said his heart is saying yes, but his head is saying no. I joked about going to his place & climbing it bed with him, snuggling, cuddling all night. I even suggested (very jokingly) just using each other for sex!! LOL...we had the most amazing love making & sex. We both knew that would just start things all over again. So we agreed, we could NOT do that. Finally after a conversation we had on Valentine's Day (go figure) I decided it was time for me to do this. It was the most difficult thing I've ever done. I spent several hours on here, reading & posting. I read a lot, I have a couple of close friends that I called crying, often hysterical where they couldn't even understand me. But they were always there & calmed me down & told me AGAIN, all of the reasons my ex & I broke up. It has been a long rough journey. Yesterday was my birthday. The days approaching a constant thought was will I hear from him? Will he remember? Will he wish me a happy birthday?? The 1st b'day wish I got on fb was from his brother, & it meant a lot. My ex doesn't have fb, which has without a doubt made this whole thing easier. I received so many special happy birthday wishes on fb yesterday. In the morning I ran some errands & went shopping & bought a couple of things for my upcoming vacation. I kept checking my phone...looking & hoping for something from him. Honestly, I don't even know why I wanted a happy birthday wish from him. May just to know, he still thinks of me (if even a little) and I "did" mean something to him. When I got home from the mall, I called my gf crying. She doesn't sugar coat anything...I told her if he doesn't call or text or anything that means I was nothing to him...nothing. That hurt soooo much. I knew if he did sent me a text, call or anything I would not respond. I just would feel better knowing I'm still there with him, even if it's not how I want to be. Not to mention, I felt by not responding, I would be in control. Right or wrong, that's how I felt. Well...guess what???? Last night I got a very short & sweet "Hope you had a Happy Birthday baby!!! Be happy!!" email from him. It surprised the h*ll out of me, but meant the world. I did not respond & won't. I feel good. I feel so good!!!

 

You all have to know you will soon feel good too. I don't know if we will ever not think about them, or miss them. But I do know it is a much different feeling than it was a month ago. All I can say is STAY STRONG, do this for you, love YOU...NC & time, there is no other way. Keep reading & posting. Everyone is here to help. I will bet sooner than you think, you will be doing what I'm doing. Reaching out with encouragement for others. I swear if you read some of my previous posts, I've said & felt what you are feeling today. It does get easier!

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Day 2 (3/17/11) - Horrible day, wanted to just run away, looked at her body several times and then just left... was about to punch a guy who was messing with her... So angry.

 

Day 3 (3/18/11) - Same day as Day 2... He did it again and I was breaking on the edge, and I left... to go to a state tournament.

 

Day 4 (3/19/11) - Good moderate mood, wasn't thinking of her, but someone else... later the night I came home to find out she was at my house, and she left 10-20 minutes before I got home... I went outside to my small gym and started punching the heavy bag... Cracked left wrist and two knuckles on my left hand. Anger over raged me so far...

 

Day 5 (3/20/11) - Trying to figure out what to do, what to tell her Monday, probably rude from my anger to tell her to stay away from my home... my family. Still angry about it, I can smell her scent inside my house and it makes me so mad I just want to break her door and kick her ass...

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