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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


SuperDave71
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FloridaMan

 

I know I made a mistake when I took her back last time. At least I should have waited much much longer. It hurts because she was my first real love and trusted her, even after we got back together last time. I understand what you mean and I hope I will learn a lot from this relationship and break up.

It sounds like she did do something to hurt you... like go out with other guys.

I haven't read your posts, but you apparently were the dumper here, so this is a little diff.

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Actually I was dumpee for both times. She sweared this time she would be committed to relationship but I should have learned from the last time that these kind of agreements and promises are not binding.

Must say that's an unusual story. Rarely does the dumper come back to the dumpee, so you were fortunate there.

Sounds like you've learned and figured out she's not the one for you, unfortunately.

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Must say that's an unusual story. Rarely does the dumper come back to the dumpee, so you were fortunate there.

Sounds like you've learned and figured out she's not the one for you, unfortunately.

 

Well, I do not know if I was fortunate or not but I have learned my lesson. We had a great potential but sometimes it´s just not enough, I guess.

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Day 2

 

Wow! I'm surprised I did it. I was feeling sad all day and I felt out of control. I couldn't sleep last night because all I could think about was you. But this evening, I suddenly wanted to feel empowered. It's been about a month since the breakup and I want to take control. I deleted you from my facebook account. I didn't do it because I hate you or think you are a bad person. You are an amazing person, but I had to do this for me. I care about you, but today is the day I start my new life without you.

 

I also deactivated my facebook account because I know our mutual friends are going to post pictures of you when they hang out with you. So, I'm just going to focus on me for a while.

 

I feel liberated. I'm sad and excited about the future at the same time.

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Day 6

 

After reading Jasper's thread on getting your act together, I no longer have any urge to contact my ex. I know we both need time off, and I'll see how our situation goes over the next few months. For now, I leave him alone, I concentrate on me.

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Day 14: Today I woke up feeling really sick, so I went to the health clinic on campus, and it turns out I have a gastrointestinal infection. So I've been trying to rest most of the day while still keeping up with my classes. I wish my ex was here- he always liked taking care of me and making me feel better. But I guess I gotta take care of myself.

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Day 7 NC, 15 days after break-up

 

Sometimes feeling hot, Sometimes feeling cold... What's the point of pretending to go on normally in life if not sharing the moments with the one that you loved most? What is the meaning of success if you are alone at the top? Why forget the nice moments that we perfectly shared? Why kill our live emotions to save a lifeless life? She was the perfect for the imperfect...

 

Ok NC is the best way to go... I know it is not about getting them back...but why give up easily? Why can't we think outside the NC box?

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Almost done with my trip to Florida with the fam. Ex went to Universal not only with his best guy friend that he brought with him from home, but also a guy and a bunch of girls from his high school. His status was something about "So excited to go to the parks Wednesday! : )" Wish I hadn't seen that. It kills me... That was supposed to be me. He gave away my ticket (my Valentine's Day present!) and replaced me with a bunch of his friends after feeding me A TON of crap about how excited he was to go with me... He's having a much better time then I am! Maybe that status was just meant to hurt me... But I have to assume I don't factor into this at all. Cried a lot today. It has been exactly one month since our breakup. NC: 7 days.

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DAY 30 NC!!

 

I never thought I could do it. 30 days ago it seemed like eternity. When everyone said it gets easier, it was so hard to believe. But it does, & it feels good. Don't get me wrong, I still think about him every day & miss him. It doesn't hurt like it use to. I haven't seen him in 60+ days. Weekends are still hard & I cry. I haven't been able to listen to music yet. Music was a big part of us. When I can listen to music without crying, that's when I'll know I'm over him. I have made so much progress in 30 days. This forum has been great therapy!! Big hug

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DAY 30 NC!!

 

I never thought I could do it. 30 days ago it seemed like eternity. When everyone said it gets easier, it was so hard to believe. But it does, & it feels good. Don't get me wrong, I still think about him every day & miss him. It doesn't hurt like it use to. I haven't seen him in 60+ days. Weekends are still hard & I cry. I haven't been able to listen to music yet. Music was a big part of us. When I can listen to music without crying, that's when I'll know I'm over him. I have made so much progress in 30 days. This forum has been great therapy!! Big hug

May I suggest changing your kind of music? And not listen to the type of music you two used to enjoy?

 

Go to link removed and explore all the categories- or Sirius/XM. There's many diff. forms instead of today's music. I don't hear anything from today unless I'm in a restaurant or store, so my music is 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, a little early 80s, some country, etc.

 

Last fall, I was listening to some heartbreak songs from the late 70s and early 80s, during my HS and college eras. Unfortunately, they reminded me of heartbreaks and being dumped, things I endured in the late 80s, and brought me to tears. They weren't shared songs, just songs that I saw myself in. So maybe listening to teary songs isn't a good idea, but do try to find some other kind of music. Music is a gift and should be enjoyed.

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Day 8 NC

You know what I feel? For a while, I thought I was the victim of this break-up. After a second thought I realized that eventually you are going to be the big loser. And soon you will realize the big mistake of your lifetime. Maybe someone else will teach your the lession, surely you will get there. But eitherway, if you do not come back on your knees crying, begging and pleading to make-up, I am not even going to consider your request. (unless someone on this post convince me otherwise .

 

"the opportunity of lifetime should be taken in the lifetime of the opportunity"

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Day 9 NC, 13 days since break up

Im proud of myself for my progress and quick healing. I still think about him but I havent cried in 10 days which is a big achievement. Im also proud of myself for finding happiness in being single

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Day 3

 

I cried a couple times today. I feel like a loser for being so weak and letting my emotions get the best of me. Sleeping is still a problem. Having a hard time dealing with the silence. I'll admit I actually pretended to talk to you. Sad I know.

 

Onto the next day!

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DAY 6

 

I accept this challenge, although it's been 6 days since my ex and I last spoke. We've been apart for about 5-6 months, and we had various periods of NC and LC. The problem is that I felt my healing process has been hindered since I would always end up talking to her if she called or texted, which would be about every 2-3 weeks. We've been on good terms, but factor in that she got a new boyfriend right after we broke up, and every time I talk to her I'm reminded of that fact.

 

I'm going forward with NC this time to fully work on healing myself and to try and heal completely, rather than temporarily like in the past. There's no way I'm healed if suddenly out of nowhere I get depressed and confused at the same level I was when we first broke up.

 

My defining point came a few days ago when I was on AIM and she IMed me. I never responded, and it felt like a giant weight was lifted off my shoulders. I did feel bad for blowing her off, but I realized that she broke up with me and rebounded almost instantly, which are 2 things that really messed me up. Not responding to an IM is the least I could do to show her how I feel.

 

24 days left. I also have a date with another girl in a week. Let's see how that goes!

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What happened, baRx? ( Don't feel obliged to answer that question if it's too personal )

 

Congrats, simplyme01, I could tell from your stories you posted on here it's been a tough journey. You can be proud of yourself.

 

I've had a very realistic dream about my ex ( realistic in both definitions) in that dream I met him at a party of a friend. I said hi, he barely said anything back and just walked right pass me acting very cold. Like I was a vague stranger. Maybe I dreamt this because this is the feeling he gives me from not responding. Like now I'm just a vague stranger. And you know what, I am. I have absolutely no idea what's up in his life and neither does he.

But he recomended his band page on fb to me ( I have no idea why?) and that's how I saw a new picture of him. I am not that attracted to him as I thought I would be. Who knows we might bump into eachother and my dream comes true ( doesn't sound that dreamy in this context right)

So , I've had my fix of ex rambling

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NC: 8 days. Still really upset about the whole spring break thing. Just trying not to think about it. Know I'll have to stay away from Facebook for a while... Have come to terms with the fact that he isn't going to take me back because it has been over a month and he seems really happy. I really feel though that the guy I loved is dead. That who he is now is not who I was with...

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Thanks Moonchill! It has been a tough journey, but I feel so much better. My birthday is Saturday & I do wonder if he'll text me a happy birthday. I doubt he will. "IF" he does, I will immediately contact my "break up buddy" & post on here & hope everyone will tell me "DON'T RESPOND". I know if I did it would set me way back from the progress I've made. Not to mention, it would feel good to not respond as he has done so many times. Either way, I won't be crushed if I don't get a birthday wish from him, it will just confirm, we weren't meant to be. Dreams suck don't they?? Just don't try to analyze them & know that they are just dreams. We all deserve happiness & we will have it without them!

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Day 3

 

I cried a couple times today. I feel like a loser for being so weak and letting my emotions get the best of me. Sleeping is still a problem. Having a hard time dealing with the silence. I'll admit I actually pretended to talk to you. Sad I know.

 

Onto the next day!

 

Just KNOW & BELIEVE that it really will get easier. I was where you are now not too long ago. Keep busy, have someone you can call & cry to. I am so thankful I have a friend that I would call, sometimes several times a day & say "I can't do this, I miss him so much". I didn't know how I'd get through a day. You will start feeling better sooner than you think. When everyone says "NO CONTACT", you have to do all you can to live by that, it's the best way to heal, that & time. Keep posting here. You can do this!

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Just KNOW & BELIEVE that it really will get easier. I was where you are now not too long ago. Keep busy, have someone you can call & cry to. I am so thankful I have a friend that I would call, sometimes several times a day & say "I can't do this, I miss him so much". I didn't know how I'd get through a day. You will start feeling better sooner than you think. When everyone says "NO CONTACT", you have to do all you can to live by that, it's the best way to heal, that & time. Keep posting here. You can do this!

 

Hey thanks! I've been doing better today. I don't have anyone to talk to at the moment since I'm miles away from home alone. Traveling on my own for a few more days so it gets really lonely sometimes.

 

Day 4

 

I'm doing really well today. I was so busy with work, I didn't really think about you much. But that was ruined after you texted me. Don't really know why you would text me even though you know I'm not in town. I didn't reply to you because I'm still in NC mode. I really wanted to text back and ask how you were doing. But I had to remind myself that I need to do this for myself. I still love you and hope you are ok. Please don't hate me for ignoring you.

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Day 10

I'm so happy I made it this far

I've already deleted him from facebook and skype and deleted his email and number and all his texts and yesterday I also finally deleted all his pictures and I deleted all his family and friends from facebook so now I will not know anything about him which is what I want, if he dies or gets married I wont know. Now I am in much more peace.

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