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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


SuperDave71
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Day 32:

 

I am over the hump and have been for some time. I have no desire to contact ex.

 

Last night was a little scary though, I had one of those life-like dreams about the ex. (Rare) and though I texted her. I had to check my phone to make sure I didn't "sleep" text her. It felt so real. Luckily I didn't.

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I broke it. I called his work to ask a work related question, had to. Then I sent a text asking how he is. He responded a couple of minutes later, said he was good, asked me how I am. I responded in like. I kind of want to send a text suggesting perhaps we could meet up in a few weeks.

 

It's good that he replied, I guess!

 

I'm close to texting him...ugh. I shouldn't...

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It's good that he replied, I guess!

 

I'm close to texting him...ugh. I shouldn't...

 

Yep we texted back and forth a few more times, talking about light and friendly stuff, I mentioned a new hobby I'm up to. Said he'd like to see me do it sometime, I told him you bet. I'm going back to NC though. I've really been missing him, and now I feel better for having talked to him, but it's not good that I can't feel better without having to talk to him. So NC really is the best option (I have neediness issues, all that fun stuff)

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43 days

This time I'm finally not running back. It's so hard to not have him in my life or talk to him but I need to do this. Talking to him solves nothing, will only make me think of everything he put me through. I don't want him back and I've finally realised I don't need him, but I miss our bond. It was special. I knew it from the moment I first met him. I felt it, and it's sad because everything's changed now.

 

Oh well, now I'm on to better things. I can't wait.

I hope I stop missing him soon.

Indifference is what I aim for.

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Day 1 properly...

 

He broke NC yesterday and so did I about urgent money stuff that needed sorting. He then sent me emails about other more trivial / personal stuff and I replied. Shouldn't have.

 

He hasn't been in touch at all today...... and I haven't caved either. I want him to stay strong and not contact me but I also crave his attention! Without it, I start to speculate and obsess..... Need to stay strong!!

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Wow... forty days. Not really sure how I feel. Anytime I think of good things about you, I block it out with all the bad. I wonder who you've been hanging out with to occupy your time. I know you don't like to be alone, so I assume you've found someone to replace me. It just kind of sucks. It's not devastation like it was before... just a very very slight longing. However, this longing is never worth risking my feelings with you again.

 

Looks like I'm starting NC with a guy I starting "dating" as well. He hid something from me right when I met him, so he's out of my life too.

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He sent an email today about looking for new digs and then another saying he couldn't afford to move and 'joked' that he would move in as my lodger whenever I am ready! I didn't reply to either. Feel so much better for it! Hope he understands why I can't be in touch right now.... Hope he sorts his head out.

 

Been wallowing in memories quite a bit today, did the recycling on my own for the first time - was weird without him.... but I will get strong again - will start exercising tomorrow and get myself looking and feeling good

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Day 3

 

He texted my son this morning, just something random about pokemon! And I got this message:

 

"Hiya, saw on facebook you had a lie in, good for you you deserve one. Just to let you know i cannot find any rooms in the right area with parking that i can afford. Thought about 2nd job but would get hit with tax more so still probably be short. Unless i moved back in or you got a lodger im stuck. This situation is crazy, hope you, josh and dog ok. And just in case im rubbish and forget on tuesday Happy Birthday x sorry i will miss it."

 

I am just going to ignore it... would rather he not be in touch at all in a way, as I need to face life without him before I can move on, but it appears he is desperate for some kind of connection...

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Day 3 - well erm, day 0???

 

I replied to his email - had to as someone had rang and left a message at my house for him to go do a job so I had to pass the message on, and also told him I was advertising our spare room so he could stop paying half the rent and get himself a room somewhere pretty soon. So it was quite businesslike. I even added a bit of nonchalance in there and joked that 31 was the new 21....

 

He has replied

"Unfortunately the problem is finding somewhere that has any parking at all, even road. But thanks though, try and get a lady lodger will remove all bloke on the try issues. Oh i got you a little birthday prezzie hope thats ok, i'll give it to josh when i pickup pension stuff tomorrow"

 

So, it looks like he is coming round tomorrow and intends to see my son? And he is jealous of me falling for a lodger....?? and he has got me a birthday prezzie???

 

Back to NC. But I really should thank him for the present on Tuesday.... gah!!! Why do I now feel like the dumper?? Is this a good thing?

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I've found that ABSOLUTE NC with her is going to be next to impossible...simply because we have kids, and our son lives with me. Our daughter left for college this past weekend, and my wife was here in town...back for the first time since she left 3 months ago. I didn't see her, and only responded to her email about getting our son over to her mother's to spend the weekend with her. No emotions, no clinging, nothing. Just a basic response. 16 yrs together, lots of love, and here I am today wondering if she misses me, thinks about me, and what (if anything) she felt while she was here. She came into our house while I was at work, to help our daughter pack up. This house full of memories that i live in, painfully, every single day taking care of the son she also left. She took a few of her computer books...a box of things that belonged to her grandmother...and a couple of cookbooks. It doesn't make any sense to me, at all. I'm glad I didn't see her....I'm glad I didn't ask her to coffee...I'm glad I was strong enough to stay invisible. It hurts a lot though, today, because I know she left again...drove back to where she's living. In a room at her Father's house.

I personally WILL NOT break NC, I did it enough the first month and 1/2 after she left. LC is painful, but I have no choice really. I'll try to keep strong. I think it was about 3 weeks of pure NC before this weekend...so today I guess starts over.

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Day 10

 

Last thing my ex told me (in a rude way) was that if we're going to talk it will be on MSN. Since that day I cut contact and even blocked him on MSN, but I can see if he gets online and he did after 6 or 7 days of NC. I actually felt good when I found out he didn't block me. I'm not willing to appear online or available to him so I'm holding on to NC as much as I can. But I don't know how to deal with it when college starts on the 26th Sept. I guess I will act calm, friendly, and if we bump into each other I can drop a Hello. I guess he will be surprised because last time we had a bad fight and he was so mean to me and didn't even care. He probably is going to expect me to act angry as I used to. But it's different now =)

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Ok starting the challenge - I already did one month a while back, but I caved. Besides, one month from today is her birthday, and I will say happy bday to her then (I would do that anyways - Im not that mean of a person). Going to block her on fb...already deleted all of our old pictures. That is a huge step for me - it too me about 3 hours to untag them all. I guess I am finally giving up real hope, though I dont doubt that some part of me will always hang on. I dont think she cares - I want to get to that point. Wish me luck.

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