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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


SuperDave71
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The ex has now begun to text me non-stop, asking for a fresh start. I don't want to deal with this at this very moment. I told her to call me in December.

 

Now granted, I'm not sure what to do. I hadn't planned on her talking to me so soon or asking for a fresh start right off the bat. I guess I'll continue with NC until the end of the month in the meantime, I have to figure out my next move.

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So much for being patient. She called a few times. I finally answered. We had a good chat mostly catching up and stuff. She's going through a lot right now which probably explains why she contacted me in the first place. She misses the support I gave her. Well I'm not just going to come back because you miss me and are going through a hard time. But I don't want to totally shut her out. I need to sniff around and see what her intentions are. Keep a low profile for the moment and perhaps have a serious talk once December rolls around.

 

She commented on how the tables have turned. Yup, they sure have.

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Day 6

 

Officially the longest time we have gone without contact since we got together.

 

Am indoors today waiting for deliveries, so have decided to move my room around.

Gonna download Swingers and see what all the fuss is about.

 

She still appears to be the first and last thing I think about.

 

EDIT (15:48 ): She has just text me asking how I am and really taken the wind out of my sails. I have not responded.

Edited by dandan78
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Today begins NC 22 for me -- 36 Days after the breakup. I cringe when I look back at some of the texts I sent her after the breakup as if nothing had happened. My mind has finally accepted that this is truly a new beginning (I hate to use the word end but that, too).

 

The hardest parts are putting together my new life and going down that long road of rebuilding myself and working on my own issues.

 

I miss her and our dog. Life will go on, though.

 

I will always think it was a mistake and that her current boyfriend played a part in this -- but we're both here for a reason and I need to accept it.

 

7 years as friends -- 5 as best and 1.5 years dating.

 

My goal is NC 60 and then I hope I am free on the inside to start dating again without taking these issues with me into those dates.

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Day 1 Again.

 

I only replied to him because I think it's only polite to do so when someone asks how you are. Yet when I ask him the same, no reply! Frustratingg. As well as upsetting. I suppose it's good that he's actually making contact but it keeps getting my hopes up, I don't know if he realises that. Starting to think he's just trying to alleviate some of his guilt just by checking up on me every so often.

 

I think I can take it seriously this time. Hopefully, if I can keep this up for a month, I'll have my head straight by the time I'm back home for christmas. Then maybe try and sort things out if I still feel the same.

 

I'm sure I don't deserve to feel like this.

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Day 1

 

Okay, I know I'm a loser and I can't stick to NC. But I think it works for trying to get her back to liking me (maybe even loving me) the way she used to. I also realize I'm not worthy of this thread, but it does help me to vent here.

 

I made last contact. Texting her that her smile makes every day beautiful, and I love her. She replied that it was sooo sweet and she loves me too. Then I sent an email reiterating that I would always be her friend, I'll always be there for her, and I'll never hold anything against her, and that I love her very much. Also that I miss getting emails, chats, and phone calls from her (prob. went too far with that one)...

 

Yeah, I'm a glutton for punishment.

 

Anyway, the door remains open, but I don't think I'll be initiating contact. Things seem to be better if I wait and let her do it (which she did over the weekend, before I sent her the compliment yesterday)... So.... Here we go again....

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Well it was a super rough weekend, but I think I'm finally coming out of it. The car is totalled, not much I can do about it. Time to find another.

 

Last time I made contact was day of the accident, so I guess I'm on day Day 4. I would still really like to go 30 days without contact, but I feel like she's gonna break it again soon. Either way, I won't be the one to initiate it.

 

Her new boy has been posting messages on her page now saying "I'm so lucky to have such a gorgeous and wonderful woman in my life blah blah etc." Too classic. I know it's pretty messed up, but if I had to but an expiration date on it, I would say it's over by next may. That way, she has someone through the depressing winter months, thanksgiving, christmas, new years, and then sometime around st. patty's day, I'd say it starts going downhill. And looking at her past 2 relationships, it'll be FAST. If it really is genuine, well more power to them. Time will tell all, heal all, reveal all. Stay strong.

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I too failed many times, including last night. I wrote 2 different letters, and eventually sent one. My mistake is once I read someone say send it and that they had success, I felt a little encouraged.

 

It is a minor setback. I sent a 1 page letter saying why I love her and a little bit about what I missed.

 

I have failed NC so many times. But this time is definitely different. See I wrote too many times when I broke NC before and wrote too long of letters. This time was short, too the point and sweet.

 

I sent it late last night. Felt a little disappointed in myself after sending it. After a good night sleep, I woke up and my mind actually took over.

 

With every failed attempted, she changes in my mind. I don't hate her or anything. But if you know little bit of my story, ex lives with a roommate that I refer to as wicked witch. After each failed attempt, my ex turns from a beautiful, amazing, and sweet woman to mini wicked witch.

 

I feel a wall being built up around my heart now. I have read alot on ENA. Many people have failed on NC and still gotten back together with an ex. So just because you fail NC doesn't mean it over. I even have a personal experience of it a long time ago. NC is really more like the saying "if you love her, let her go and if she comes back, she yours forever."

 

I am again on Day 1. Today feels good but sad. I am not upset or sad that she didn't respond. I fully expected that. I am sad because with each failed attempt my heart is closing towards her and I am losing the beautiful memory of her. I have know for quite some time now, that if she ever came back that there would have to be some serious discussion about our past issues. Now, even if she were to comeback, I really don't know if I would ever take her back, because my heart is building up a wall and my image of her is changing.

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Well, today is exactly four weeks since he broke up with me and Day 1 of official NC. the longest i went before this was like... a week. i know that theres nothing else to say at this point. he is sleeping with someone else, he got his stuff yesterday, he gave me some closure (but not really, mostly because i dont think HE knows what he wants). i want to break nc because i want to clear up a few more things, but at this point none of that even matters. he knows how i feel. but for some reason i think i can change things... i CANT.

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DAY 1

 

my ex and I had a 'closure' talk last night where I let him go with love. I said that we can't be friends, its best if he doesnt contact me, I am leaving the door open but moving on. It was very emotional, a lot of tears from both end - he couldnt even say 'goodbye' because he didnt want it to be goodbye. neither do i, but i didnt want it to be the end of our relationship! so boo f-ing hoo! haha no, Ive had a bad bad day today, got nothing done except for flipping between crying realising its really over and clingin on to hope.

I'm going to try and let go of hope and get on with stuff tomorrow. I'm gonna do 30 days strict no contact - though it is his bday in a few weeks.... - and then im gonna try and do another 30 days. then maybe i'll be ready to be friends or he'll be ready to be more....

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^my ex couldnt say goodbye either when i told him that i wouldnt be calling him anymore... he said he couldnt say goodbye and instead when we got off the phone said, "ill talk to you later"

 

I said goodbye and he stayed silent, i could jst hear him crying. i said, 'r u going to say goodbye' and he said 'no, because i dont want it to be goodbye' so i said goodbye and put the phone down. i got a text a bit after sayin how he'll miss me and i'm the most amazing girl he's ever met and deserve someone who loves me and to thank me for all the goodtimes and help etc and that maybe we can be friends one day and that he's sorry'.

 

so thats the end... we'll see what comes next. ive just gotta be strong and determined to move on. im gonna miss him so much. but i really do thnk he's gonna miss me too.

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I miss her smiley face texts.

 

Bought a birthday card today. Her BD is next week. It's a very sweet card, but not all lovey-dovey. It's more like "you deserve the best, don't settle, find happiness,..." crap like that (really, it is very nice).

 

I'm not gonna write a book with it like I usually do. Just gonna write something like:

"sending my warmest birthday wishes to you on your special day... Love,...xoxoxo"

 

I can't help it. I'm really not expecting a reply at all and I won't be hurt if I don't get one. I really just want to make her day special, and I think this card can do that. She really is an amazing person.

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Day 3

 

Well, I have decided to join the No Contact Challenge, finally. Its been almost 5 months since my ex of 4 years broke up with me and moved 15 hours away from the house we just bought together last year. A very rough 5 months, I will say. I went no contact for a few weeks early on, but then he has been initiating a ton of contact since then, being flirty, and basically sending mixed signals, but making no real moves towards slowly rebuilding the relationship. Finally, I had enough last week and sent him a letter with all my thoughts, and basically telling him to please respect me and give me some space if he is not interested in reconciling. He did not take it well, asking me to not stop talking to hm, and pretty much was begging and then giving me a guilt trip not to go no contact. But it was something that I needed to do, if he was not willing to work on the relationship. So that is my hope with no contact. To really be able to let go of the hope. And who knows, maybe this will wake him up a little bit and let him realize I am not always going to be there like he thinks, but I am not holding out for that.

 

The last few days have been rough. But today has been okay actually. I am feeling pretty numb right now, so I will take that. But I keep looking at my phone, hoping he will call or text. Stupid, huh, when I told him not to unless he was interested in taking things slow, but I do it anyways.

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