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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


SuperDave71
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Day 28

 

Well, actually, I'm not sure if it counts. I accidentally sent him a text message- I'd sent a mass text message to everyone listed under "friends" on my phone's contact list. Just asking if anyone was going to any Halloween parties. I really thought I'd deleted him off that grouping. I was shocked when my phone told me a delivery had been made to his number.

 

I was actually afraid he'd write back to yell at me. But nothing. No idea how to really feel now.

 

I've been hung up on someone else lately- I need to not contact him anymore either. No sense wasting energy on people who aren't giving back to you.

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It definitely does. The longest stretch I have been able to have was 22 days. From about day 8-15 I kinda lost track. Only to come back and say WOW that really did go by quick... Give it a try, you might like it better than ticking each day off one at a time.

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Day 28

 

Well, actually, I'm not sure if it counts. I accidentally sent him a text message- I'd sent a mass text message to everyone listed under "friends" on my phone's contact list. Just asking if anyone was going to any Halloween parties. I really thought I'd deleted him off that grouping. I was shocked when my phone told me a delivery had been made to his number.

 

I was actually afraid he'd write back to yell at me. But nothing. No idea how to really feel now.

 

I've been hung up on someone else lately- I need to not contact him anymore either. No sense wasting energy on people who aren't giving back to you.

 

I wouldn't count it -- the contact wasn't intended, so...I think you're in the clear!

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It definitely does. The longest stretch I have been able to have was 22 days. From about day 8-15 I kinda lost track. Only to come back and say WOW that really did go by quick... Give it a try, you might like it better than ticking each day off one at a time.

 

Thanks, I am going to do that and try and get lost in activities and what I have to do instead of ticking away. I can't talk to my ex til December for him to "get his space and think about starting something again" because me contacting him prior to that "continues to frustrate" him...but just changed the calendar to November which made me pretty happy The month will fly by...OK no more counting, at least for now...

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Day 1! made it through, surprisingly. I thought for sure she would try and say something again.

 

Please guys, stay strong, stay focused, and resist the temptation to stoop back down to their level as much as you want to. When you finally realize how fulfilling life is without the dependence of someone else, and you see things from a bigger perspective - well, it's a feeling that can't be described... Hang in there...

 

SO TRUE!!! A healthy relationship needs two independent people, not two codependent ones, or one codependent one so...

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She broke contact. Yet again. It is so blatantly obvious that I am moving on, and she HATES it. Might be a little wrong, but boy, am I soaking this up like a sponge...

 

She asked for $50 that she had used to rent us a surfboard at the beach the end of july....Really? Get over it, I know you're not worried about the money, and it's so easy to see right through. If she was actually nice or came off as anything but hostile I would try to keep hope for reconciliation. But at this point I just don't think that's gonna happen.

 

 

She is SO looking for excuses to talk to you. Good thing you see through it. Wait until she wants to talk about something of substance instead of playing her games. She needs to level with you -- and if she is being hostile about over a measly 50 bucks from four months ago then whatever. She needs to get over it and let you go, or show positive steps that she wants to have you in her life again, instead of trying to make you feel bad. Good job for rising above that and not responding!!!

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Day 6

 

Woke up feeling kind of sad that she didn't text me for my birthday. Yesterday, I was glad that she hadn't wished me a Happy Birthday, yet this morning I felt sad...like something was missing.

 

Looking forward to one full week of NC...didn't think I would make it this far.

 

Try to stop counting, I am going to...let the days just flow together. I realize the more we note the passing of each day, the more we are still being stuck on that person instead of living our lives and letting life go on...Good luck on making it through to Day 7...

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Day 7-

Broke NC. Feel like absolute * * * * .

 

She started talking to me on facebook asked me if i got her message

 

cant be bothered explaining

 

decided to call her. yes bad mistake

 

 

yeah.. i just cant type now feeling way to upset dont know what to do.

 

this doesnt even make any sense.. sorry dont know what im doing

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trying NC again for the second time at the advice of the great friends here on the forum.. has been 24 hours.. I sent no emails and did not try to call his house.. spent the day yesterday and the evening with friends that were trying to occupy my time and keep my mind off things.. it helped alot..

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^ There's some true reasoning hahaha...

 

You guys are doing good, keep it up. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that facebook is POISON. If it is a source of unpleasant emotions, you have to get rid of it. Delete them from your friends list, or better yet block them. When you block them, your profile completely disappears to them from the entire database. They can't search for you, view your material, anything. All it is going to do is set you back and hinder any progress.

 

One of the things that really helped me was hanging out with my girlfriends. No, not ex's. But any of my friends that are girls. Bro time is a complete MUST, but sometimes the opposite sex is much more pleasant to be around.

 

Stay busy, stay outside, pick up a hobby, detail your car, do all your laundry, do ANYTHING to keep yourself busy. Keep it positive though. Above all else, make sure you are still eating and sleeping. Lack of one or the other, or both, will have a devastating effect on your progress.

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Day 7

 

Halloween was fun. Nice to go out and party. I keep wondering why the ex hasn't contacted me yet, since the last couple of times at NC, she's quick to reply that she misses me. Then I remember each and every time she comes back I end up getting hurt. I'll deal with her when I'm ready. Right now its not the time.

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reached the 2 weeks mark! Feel much better I think I still miss her. Not sure if I miss having that feeling while you're with someone or miss her...

 

Had a great night last night tho and was chatting to this girl, although not much happened I did feel better!

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close to three months after the breakup, with very minimal contact during that time - I'm feeling much better. I've moved back home, living with mom for the time being. I still miss him and still wouldn't mind another chance, but I'm feeling happy and cheerful much more often and even starting to think about dating once I get back on my feet.

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over 3 months 2 weeks now havent been around here for a while, trying to keep busy doing other things. been working out abit more since too. i still find myself missing her and thinking of her every single day but i know shes gone. they say 90 days dont they? i havent heard a peep so i think my chances are over. i still sometimes get emotional, i thought id managed to stop but i cant help it its going to take more time. i prayed and hoped for so long, i could not possibly long for something so much. i always wonder if shes forgot about me entirely but then 3 months + of no contact pretty much shows i meant nothing. she made me so happy i cannot describe, if ONLY things could of been different... sometimes i wish to be someone else just so i could have another shot with her, i just wish i could meet her all over again. i just feel like ill never be that happy again, to know someone you feel so much for can walk away from you like you were nothing has broken me up so much. i still remember all our chats like they were yesterday. just have to carry on, all i have left is her hairband which ill always keep close to my heart.

Edited by ackerman
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ok, two whole days now and I have managed no contact...trying to push aside the thoughts like "wonder if this is bothering him?" and others like that.. actually, feeling a little empowered by my success.. ;-) kept busy again this am with the neighbor..and shopping. And nursing the cold that has caught up to me..

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I feel the same way. I am only on day 7 of NC, but she hasnt contacted me over 2 months. i still miss her like crazy.

 

getting harder. i want to tell her how much i love her. i feel as if i need to fight for her. but it won't do any good. she is long gone. hopefully day 8 will be better.

Edited by Nappyloxs
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Staring Day 8. Again its actually getting a little harder. I think because I am starting to see that it is over. And its making me want to run back to her.

 

Its been over two months no contact from her. Its been over a week since I sent my long "love" letter to her. Its finally starting be become clear that she is done and over with me. The pain doesn't hurt as bad anymore. Just so many questions left unanswered. Still just wondering WHY? Today's main thoughts so far has been how do I love her so much when she wants nothing to do with me and why did I not realize my mistakes during the relationship?

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My bf broke up with me last saturday and I my NC started last monday so its been one week. Last I spoke to him I was begging for a second chance. He sent me a 'hi, how are you? what you been up2? hows job hunting going?' facebook message and Im not sure whether to reply just so he doesnt thnk im being childish and ignorin him (something that would definitely push him away, he hates games)

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Just broke NC. I wrote an email saying "i love you" and that I am accepting that she is not coming back. I don't know why I did it. I actually sent it from my junk email address too by mistake.

 

I don't know how I feel about breaking NC again. Right now, I just don't care about NC, her responding (which isn't going to happen). I really just don't care about any of it anymore.

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Day 8

 

The day seems to be dragging. I've started painting after many many years of inactivity. Time to hit the gym and work on those muscles. I was looking at myself and my arms are way too skinny. Thankfully I've gain most of the weight I lost when we first broke up. I was looking like a skeleton. Time to look hot again, hmmm I should go shopping...

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My bf broke up with me last saturday and I my NC started last monday so its been one week. Last I spoke to him I was begging for a second chance. He sent me a 'hi, how are you? what you been up2? hows job hunting going?' facebook message and Im not sure whether to reply just so he doesnt thnk im being childish and ignorin him (something that would definitely push him away, he hates games)

 

 

I suppose you could send in a quick courteous reply and in your reply also tell him to stop contacting you. I just find that NC is very hard when you remain FB friends. I would block him for the time being.

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