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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


SuperDave71
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I'm not even doing NC to get him back anymore, ima do this for me. He told me really hateful things tonight. He said he regretted meeting me, we have no chance, I was a waste of time, he even told me to thrown myself down a flight of stairs (how immature). It was at this point that I thought to myself, WHY do I want him back? He never cared about me, he never loved me. What he said was so low. And its making me see things from another light. If you truly love someone, you wouldn't be able to hurt them how he hurt me. It's a shame cause we really do got alot of good memories together.

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Day 19

I don't want my ex back. I ended it with him. I still feel sad about it anyway, but I did what was best for me. I have been here before and posting my feelings on the NC board really helped. I am already on day 19 of not speaking with him, but I did not realize how much I missed him until last week. I don't want him back, but at the same time I feel like I want to talk to him (if that makes any sense).

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I guess this is back at Day 1..Im doing really well today, except for right before bed. I began to think of her routine and what she was doing when I visited her, but I know deep inside she doesnt deserve me and im better for it. I was confident all day even when her friend ask me if we split, told her "it sucks but shes really missing out on a great guy, I coulda been good for her'' and walked away with my pride, I remember the nights before being hard, and I know that shes seeing someone else gave me complete closure, the girl doesnt know what a true relationship is, and im thankful i found out atleast early enough before things got more serious

Its tough, I can be very passionate about things, and I chose to embrace the distance between us, I was looking forward to driving in the middle of the night when I could hear in her voice that she needed me, were both nickelback fans and now when I hear "I'd come for you" or "never gonna be alone" it shakes me a little, I guess I can put anyone in that situation but right now its her, cant wait though until I found someone deserving of this and willing to reciprocate the feeling

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Wow, just browsing through this thread has taken up so much time that I would have otherwise spent contemplating texting my ex!

 

I have a question though. Many of you seem to take getting back together as a given. I've read a few times that it's "always" the case that once you start to miss your ex he/she will come back to you. I'm not trying to be critical at all and I realise that that actually is the case a lot of the time, but how do you deal with that fine line between keeping NC for too long and the fear of letting them get COMPLETELY over you, and not sticking to NC and suffocating them with clinginess?

 

It's a toughie. Good luck to you all!

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we are our own worst enemies.

 

when was the last time any of us looked at the full moon?

When was the last time you went snorkelling?

when was the last time you laughed with a friend till you cried?

when was the last time you smelt freshly baked bread and bought some just for the hell of it?

when was the last time you just read a book and got lost in the words?

when was the last time you learnt something new?

when was the last time you said to your best friend - i love you?

when was the last time you lived?

 

get off this forum.

 

jump into life.

 

there is more on this planet than this. more to life than broken hearts. i have a broken heart. i have been down to the bottom of every bottle. i have started smoking. i am heart broken.

 

but there is more to life than this one heart break. than this forum.

 

go live people.

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Day 19

I don't want my ex back. I ended it with him. I still feel sad about it anyway, but I did what was best for me. I have been here before and posting my feelings on the NC board really helped. I am already on day 19 of not speaking with him, but I did not realize how much I missed him until last week. I don't want him back, but at the same time I feel like I want to talk to him (if that makes any sense).

 

I know exactly how you feel. I don't want my ex back. I don't feel the same way about her any more. But I'd love to talk to her and see her. Crazy eh!?

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I know exactly how you feel. I don't want my ex back. I don't feel the same way about her any more. But I'd love to talk to her and see her. Crazy eh!?

 

I don't know if I could every really trust mine again.

 

I have a very hard time telling someone that I love them, and to say it back for two weeks while having doubts about whether or not it's true...well, that's either cruel, or very juvenile.

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Today was Day 22. Then she IM'ed me. She doesn't show up on my buddy list anymore so I had assumed she blocked me, as she did with everything else. I had a joke up, she took it seriously (talking about quitting school) and im'ed me about it. Said something like "I thought you were smarter than that". More than anything I wanted to say "I think the same thing about you all the time". But I didn't, I simply said "OK" and stopped talking to her. I'm not sure if I said too much, too little or did the right thing. But I was not happy about breaking NC at all. The fact that she's pretending she cares about what's going on in my life upsets me since she willingly pulled herself out of it.

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Proud to say Day 1 was a success. As many times as I wanted to approach him and tell him I love him, I held myself back and stood strong. He was sorta flirting with a girl in one of our classes together and as much as I wanted to say something, I acted as though it doesn't phase me. I miss him, but I can't spend the rest of my life praying he'll be back. Day 2, here we come

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Had a minor hiccup at work, her friend (i work with) who just found out were not together anymore came by to talk...and I shouldve stopped her right away but eventually I found the courage to tell her I think its best if we dont talk about "her", she had her reasons and I dont need to hear more about it, the fact is were not together and thats her decision and shes chosen someone else and I dont want anything to do with someone who doesnt want to be with me.

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Day 8 - Woke up this morning, checked my phone hoping there was a message, there was none, ofcourse.

But i am feeling better today. I am glad i am sticking to NC this time, there is no point to be in contact, what for? So he can have his ego stroked and i can feel worse and worse each day. Best thing i did was tell him not to contact me, even though i am dying to hear from him.

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Well day 6 here. Second time around. About to be third. It's getting broken tomorrow. It's her birthday, and even though all my plans/gift idea was shattered, I'm still going to send her a simple text saying "Happy Birthday" No period or exclamation, just words. I don't expect anything back, but last night I decided, I'm in it for the long haul. I took about 4-5 hours and fully assessed our relationship, deciding it was worth it to stick with it. I know it will be hard, depressing, and discouraging at times, but I'm positive it will make an impact in the end.

 

On a side not, I landed a new side job today. Pretty sweet gig, should keep me occupied a little more.

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AW crap!!!! I just realized that ex works at a restaurant that is my friend on FB. Don't know for sure if she has access to their account, but wouldn't surprise me since she is friends with the manager and owner. Oh well, really the only thing she'll see is that i have a friend who has been flirting with me like mad. Could be why our mutual friend was suddenly asking who this woman is that's always commenting on everything I do. Ex asking friend for info on me? Possible.

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Day 2.

 

It feels kinda hard, in this situation. We didn't officially end anything. He just...stopped calling. It's been a month since he talked to me. No reasons given for why he won't answer me, or anything. It makes me feel bad, after all he said about how he liked me, and wanted us to relax and take it slow...

 

So I don't really know what's going on. It's making it hard to get in the proper mindset, not knowing if I'm gonna hear from him ever again, or if it's done forever. I start asking myself if he ever cared about me or my feelings...or if everything he said was just a ploy to sleep with me again.

 

My best guess is that I was txting too much/coming on too strong and it freaked him out alittle. So, No Contact is almost certainly for the best this time. Let him call me, if he misses talking to me.

 

I'll be at school all day tomorrow, so that should make it easier.

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Day 55 of NC and today I feel like I am right back to the day 1. I cried for hours, I am just so tempting to write to him, I miss him like hell.

 

I fell I am not healing at all, I started to doubt about NC really helping me.

 

 

same here except on my like day 380 something..

 

HOPE and FAITH are really getting the better of me

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Seriously I dont know why G-D built the human psyche to want things it cant have and not want things it can have. It really drives me nuts.

 

I mean going after someone you love drives them away? * * * when you actlike or really just dont want them they come back?

 

I dont get that part. because its a double edged sword. the person who does not want the other person back gets bombarded by the person who wants them back.

 

when the person who is trying to get the other person back finally gives up, the o the other person comes back because the other person isnt trying anymore....

 

 

WHAT THE HEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL

 

 

its 6;30 here and its my 2nd day of not being able to sleep because of the jewish holidays where "forgiveness" is the tone of the holiday. so every day I am wondering as they go by if my ex will contact me to right the wrongs she has done. its literally driving me nuts. it ends this ocming monday with yom kippur and thats the day G-d closes his book. So here I am wondering if she will call and ask and here I am worried that if she doesnt she is written out of go_ds book for another year... OH MAN the ANXIETY

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Day 3 of NC because he caught me on msn on Sunday. I had deleted but not blocked him first, stupidly.

 

Feel like I'm withdrawing from a drug or something. If I didn't know what was wrong with me, I'd say I was a bit out of sorts. But spent last night chatting to an old flame and just laughing solid for over an hour.

 

Feel disappointed that such a great relationship was ended through no fault on either part's side. Broke up for cultural reasons. His parents threatened to disown him and he walked. I know he's not for me, his cowardice has just shown that, but why oh why, when I finally find a guy who is right for me, does it have to be scuppered by something like this? It just feels so unfair.

 

On the other hand, I can see light at the end of the tunnel. Life is good in many, many ways and as soon as I get this addiction off my back, I'll be able to enjoy it all fully again. At the moment though, because I'm not back at the gym yet and because I have not used my time as effectively as I could have to progress other projects, I'm a little bit in limbo. Have time off work now, so intend to deal. I need to use the power of distraction more effectively.

 

I want to heal and will heal quickly.

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It has been six days...I have kept my phone off and deleted him from facebook and myspace...

I posted a thread on this forum the other night and got a couple of good responses.. everyone seems to have the same opinion ....;-)

 

So, I came accross the No Contact thread.. and will give a go...

 

wish me luck!!

 

And for all of you that are already in this... good luck to you as well..

 

Best wishes for happiness...

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NC doesn't seem to be helping me either, but I also know that being in contact with him won't help me at all.

 

7 weeks since the breakup, I still miss him just as much. Thing is, part of my issue is that I'm isolated in a city/state where I only know one person, who's in the middle of a separation herself, no job, no money...I have nothing to keep myself busy.

 

I am moving back home in one month, so I'm hoping that having my family near me and a bigger city with more job opportunities will help me to move on and grow.

 

I'm not giving up on him, but I also can't give up on myself.

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