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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


SuperDave71
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This is what I told my ex when I went LC: Talking with you all the time and about daily things is keeping me from fully moving on, and I really need to do that. So, I'd like to keep our contact to kids, house, and finances. And I'd prefer texts or emails as opposed to calls, unless it's important, so that we stay on topic.

 

Him: We can't be friends, then?

 

Me: Maybe someday. Not right now. But if you have something significant to say, feel free to call. I'll pick-up, but it better be something I need or want to hear or I'll think twice about picking up the next time you call.

 

We used to talk on the phone at least once a day, usually two or three times, about nothing - his meetings, his cats, what he bought our daughter at Macys, and other B.S. Since then, we've talked on the phone maybe twice about our daughter, who has been sick, and I saw him on Sunday when he came over to help with some things around the house (see my post The Eat Your Heart Out Moment and LC).

 

I think it works best if you tell them that you need to do this for you and that, if there is a need to communicate, it needs to be important. Then you have to be strong.

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Day 1 all over again. Broke NC yesterday after an accidental facebook poke that couldn't be removed. I had to say something, or otherwise look like a * * * * * * * , so I simply said "just stopped in to say hello. It's be great to hear from you. Hope all is well!!" No response of course. A friend of mine is hanging out with her tomorrow, we'll see where that goes.

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Day 1 again, sigh..

 

Thanks Autumnborn. But I am reluctant to tell him that because that will only tell him that I am not over him yet. I don't want to give him the satisfaction.

 

Maybe I will continue to NC/ LC until he is tired of trying to reach out to me and disappear from my life..

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No contact no contact no contact no contact..

 

I feel better when I don't hear from him. Whenever he text me, there will be stress on whether to reply, what to reply, should I sound cold? should I sound friendly? And when I click the send button, I will be sitting at the edge of my chair waiting for him to reply...and worry about what he will reply.. or what if he doesn't reply...

 

no contact no contact no contact no contact

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We were "close friends' for a couple of months last year and dated for one month. The relationship was LDR. She broke up with me and got together with another guy she met around the same time we did. Been together since then and I've been talking to her every now 'n then by her initiation. Last direct contact was a couple of weeks ago. This is day 1 for staying away from everything with her name on it including social websites, emails and the like. My situation might seem immature and even petty but this is the first girl I've ever been in love with. Don't know why it was so good yet so short. Hoping that one day , preferably soon, we'd get back together and I can trust and love her like I did once upon a time. I'd also ask that this other guy die a horrible death and burn in hell or live the rest of his life alone and crippled but thats just wishful thinking. Only because he did not keep a respectful distance from us when we were together which I believe to be disgusting and plain 'ol * * * * ed up. You know?

 

I'll keep posting weekly

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Broken up for nearly 3 months...

 

Was NC for 8 weeks until he broke it last week (emailing back and forth... no relationship talk).

 

Day #3 or 4 now. I still haven't defriended him on social networking sites yet. His status on facebook last night was "Having a rough time for some reason. Too much on my mind?" I would like to think that is was referring to me. I almost called/texted but I didn't. He didn't call me either. Must not have been that important.

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TennesseeGirl - really great progress! Happy to hear you have accepted it is over. It is hard but really important to getting our self esteem back. yay for you.

 

QuirkyGirl - so sorry you feel so lousy. Time always helps. I hated it when people said this to me but it is so true.

 

As for me, I still feel strong. Day 8 or 9 of NC, not sure which but really it doesn't make much difference to me.

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Day 2 NC after he dumped on the plane on the way home from disney world florida on july 29th and I'm not afraid to say it!!!! I feel stronger than any 2nd day nc I ever had with him, in fact if I had balls I wish he would have them dumped into his moth and that way I could screw him.... he fooled me. And satrung me along I am thinking at this point and as long as it works for NC I'm for it...

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LillyLooWho, thanks for your supportive comment x

 

not counting any more

 

I feel better after the freakout yesterday! I guess I went so low that the only way is up. Gotta say, I've never broken NC (he has 3 times) that does make me feel somewhat strong..

 

I've decided to be stronger, to stop myself from thinking about him/the relationship so much. It was a tough week but I reached my limits and it's not worth all this sadness. Honestly looking forward.

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Day 2. Sucks. I ran into the ex before her, who I absolutely cannot stand. I ended things in a very classy and respectful way, and she continues to this day to be immature about it. That was a little over a year ago. Still no reply from my current ex, my love. Don't expect one. I really hope things start turning around soon, I don't know how much more of this I can bare. I hate to be negative when everyone on this board tries so hard to see the good out of bad situations, but honestly, I don't think my life could get any worse at this point.

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Day...4? It's been NC/LC on and off for over 2 months now...slowly sinking in after last contact that I am much more tied up in this breakup emotionally than he is, was, or may ever have the capacity to be. sure, he can tell me he "thinks about me a lot" but it must not be in a way that moves him to act so that means very little when all is SAID and/or DONE.

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Over day 70, maybe even 80 of NC and around 140-150days since breakup.

 

 

SO about a week and a half ago i thought it was strange that ex gave our mutual friend some stuff I hadn't even asked for to give to me, but kept other items that I have specifically requested be returned to me. thought it was strange that she was putting our friend in the middle of us and it felt like ex was saying "hey, remember me? I still think about you here is some stuff, but I'm keeping some". Other friends who know my situation thinks maybe she was trying to get me to contact her to thank her for returning my stuff. Sorry, not gonna break NC for such a weak, ambiguous hint.

 

About 2 or 3 weeks ago a woman who I went to grade and high school with added me on FB. She left several posts about how great I look and so on. Now every time I post anything she makes numerous comments. I put up a pic a few weeks ago of the tat I got on my upper arm this summer, the only thing visible is my arm and my lips (since I'm looking down at my arm in the pic). Well this old friend sends me a message that says " the tat looks so great, your arms look great.....and your lips look so hot I just figured I had to tell you that !"

 

So today I'm running with the mutual friend(she's a friend on FB) of my ex(she is not) and me. After a few minutes out of nowhere she says "so, who is (name of friend from school)? She has a comment for everything you post and you've never mentioned her to me." I tell her she and old friend from school and I think maybe she has a crush on me. she asks why I think friend has a crush and I tell her about the "hot lips" message. She kinda gives this nervous laugh and says "hmmm." end of subject.

 

So a few hours later my mind wanders to that conversation and I was wondering why she brought it up. I know running partner isn't jealous, she's happily married to someone I consider a friend. Then it hits me, mutual friend meets with ex several times a week for coffee and study time and she always takes her laptop and posts while she's there. I'm thinking that either mutual friend is trying to make sure I'm not dating anyone but ex, or ex saw my FB page on her computer and was wondering who this new friend is herself. either way, it's nice knowing that people are suddenly prying into my life when it looks like another woman is obviously interested. As to why I wondered why mutual friend brought it up is because I work with several women who are really good friends to me, especially through the breakup, and are also friends on FB, but they haven't asked who this new mystery woman is on my page. i only came to these conclusions in light of those facts.

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Day 4.

Its been a month since the split. I was going so well with no contact then i had a made 10 days and we started contating again. It made me feel so much worse.

So sticking to NC this time as much as it hurts.

I asked him not to contact me

I wonder if he thinks about me?

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Particularly rough day today. In two days it will be 5 months since the demise of our future as it were to be. Today I went and ran in a 5k race, we ran this same race together last year, and I was filled with sadness when I pulled into the parking lot, filled with sadness when I left and unfortunately the drive home took me past many locations that were pivotal locations in the beginning of our relationship. I've hadf my headphones on while cleaning for the past two hours and she won't get the * * * * out of my head. Ther is no chance I'll break NC as this juncture, i just need to vent. Heart fills like is going to burst today, and not in that good way.

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Day 3 nc, felt horrible today but I know I will be stronger in the end and if he ever calls I will not answer, I will not allow myself to be tortured. I have accepted the fact we had our time together and it did not work out.

 

Wondering if he fell too hard and realized it was just a sexual attraction, but not sure. That is where my mind is right now.

 

Going on a date next sat night, kinda nervous actually. Hey at least its a way to occupy my mind!

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Day 5.... ARGH i feel terrible!

Sundays is the day he has off.

wonder what he is doing?

wonder if he is out with anyone? Probably

I know he cant go to long without someone in his life

 

I have the same thoughts about mine

I know that he expressed interest in me no more than a month after his previous relationship ended...it's been 6 weeks since ours ended, and while it doesn't seem like he is seeing someone (hard to tell in a long distance situation, and he does not use facebook), it's torture even thinking it's possible (and probable).

 

I hate it, and I hate that I love him so much. I just want this to be over...whether we get back together or I get over him. I don't want to feel like this any more.

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