Jump to content

THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


SuperDave71
 Share

Recommended Posts

Thread continued from here

 

 

Hello everyone at eNotAlone,

 

I suddenly had a great idea...( scary huh? )

 

Let's start the SuperDave 71 NO CONTACT CHALLENGE...

 

 

Here are the rules:

 

 

1. When you accept this challenge, post here and your time/date stamp will be recorded for accuracy.

 

2. No Contact will be initiated for ONE MONTH from the date that you post. This mean NO CONTACT WHATSOEVER...and I mean NONE. (Including going to picture sites and myspace/or like sites)

 

3. If you work with your ex, you can still accept the challenge. You cannot do ANYTHING to contact your ex UNLESS it is work related ONLY.

 

4. If you accept this challange, I would like a post everyday on how you are feeling and what you are doing to pass the time. I am hoping by doing this, others will read and try to help themselves is they have a moment of weakness.

 

 

**Remember**

 

No Contact is for you

 

 

5. If you have contact with your ex BY YOUR DOING..YOU MUST POST WHY YOU DID IT AND HOW YOU FEEL RIGHT AFTER. No exceptions.

 

6. If your ex contacts you, UNLESS IT IS AN EMERGENCY, or there are children involved, you cannot respond. PERIOD. If you do, see rule 5.

 

7. If an ex comes over or tries to see you physically, this DOES NOT COUNT AGAINST YOU, BUT you MUST POST.

 

8. After the month of No Contact has past, you must reread all of yoru daily threads and write a conclusion based on what you felt when you started and how you feel 30 days later.

 

9. When you post daily, please put what day number you are on of the 30 day challenge so that other members can see how you are doing.

 

 

 

NEW RULE

 

SuperDave71 has permission to duct tape any breaker of NC to a chair and throw broken twinkies at your head.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If ANYONE out there can come up with more rules, PLEASE PM me so I can update them. I will be happy to listen.

 

 

I would like for this to happen because I want other to read the progression involved in the NO CONTACT process.

 

 

If you do NOT feel you are up to the challange, ...wait until you are.

 

 

I wish you all the best....and GOOD LUCK.

 

 

If you accept my challenge, you will be very surprised at the end result.

 

 

 

Your friend,

 

 

SuperDave71

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 years later...
  • Replies 20.1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Day 1

 

I accept the challenge! I already know what it feel like to break NC...u end up feeling like * * * * . Even when its the dumper initiating contact...I feel like * * * * after when I respond. I realize there is no point in being in contact. He has changed. He is not the guy I remember. He is not the guy I fell for. I have so many bad memories of him now after we broke up. I can not even remember the good times anymore! I dont even know why I still feel hurt. I cant remember the good in him anymore. I guess I am going through the hate stage? We have been broken up almost 2 years. I know I know...bad for still being hurt over someone. However, I did not cut contact off...mainly bc he kept contacting me at first all the time and it was like we were still together and it took about 1.5 years for him to finally back off...so its almost like im hurting and its starting all over as a break up bc finally he has stopped contacting me etc. Anyways this is a lesson for everyone who r freshly broken up.

 

CUT OFF contact. Or u will be like me 2 years later...still hurting. Its the thing I regret the most. I wish I cut contact right away. At least then we would both be hurting...instead of now its only me. When u stay in contact with the Ex...you only ease their pain....make it EASIER for them to get over u. U r holding their hand through the break up...while we are in pain and hurting. If we cut them off...they feel a bit of pain...you dont want to make things easier for someone who broke ur heart and walk through hell? CUT THEM OFF!!!!!!!!!!

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 1

 

I'm so weak when it comes to NC. It is time to hold myself accountable. I have my story posted in another thread. 2 days ago my ex msg'd me on MSN saying that she was dating someone new and asked if I wanted to talk about it. I acted on my emotions at the time and immediately blocked her from facebook and msn. What a stupid thing to do.. it basically showed her that I was affected by it. I woke up this morning and thought it would be a bright idea to email her saying that I had made a mistake and wanted to talk to her about it. I sent her a friend request on facebook hoping she would readd me. I also thought it would be a bright idea to call her at work and leave a message on her machine saying I was happy for her and asking her to call me back. Seriously, * * * is wrong with me? I went out with a friend tonight and I noticed that I kept checking my phone to see if she had called and I keep checking my email constantly hoping for some contact. Its quite pathetic and I'm sick of it. If shes dating someone else then thats that. Why do I keep showing weakness by making a decision and then changing my mind and come groveling back to her. This has happened more than once and it really puts her in a position of control.

 

Looking back on this breakup, I made it so easy for her.. like the poster above me said, I basically held her hand through the breakup.. I was there for her as a friend while she moved on and slowly got over me... now she is dating and I'm stuck in the past. ITS TIME TO MOVE ON!!

 

ONE MONTH OF NC HERE I COME!!!

 

 

EDIT: I caught myself subconciously cheating and keeping her unblocked from msn in hopes that she would contact me. I just blocked her again.. its not coming off this time.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 4

 

........trying hard to not open his fb and email.

I know i can do this, i have control of my own myself!

 

I'm on Day 2 (broke NC on Day 4 earlier this week because he emailed me)

 

story here:

 

Tell you what... why don't you block him on FB. That's what I did. And when he found out he emailed me to say it made him "pretty sad" that i "hated him". I broke NC at that point, hours later after asking people in this forum, to reply and tell him I didn't do it because I hated him.

 

So, now I'm on Day 2.

 

Good luck everyone!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am taking control, this is my life and I have neglected myself for far too long, I dont need anyone but myself, It is not the situation that harms you, it is your judment about it, take away the thought of injury and the injury is gone, view the last months or years with your ex as though it was all just a very long dream and that you are now just waking up from.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks, everyone for the memories. I did 37 days of NC and now I'm back into contact with my ex. A couple of days ago she was happy with being broken up. She says she's working on herself. Then yesterday, she says she was happier together when we had our great times and is not opposed to getting back together if some of the problems have been rectified and she can fall back in love with me.

 

I'm starting fresh with my ex. I'm treating her as if we never even dated before. We're at the talking stage right now and it feels exactly how it did before we got together. She calls me more often and sends me texts. She's thinking about me which is a step up from last month.

 

Whether reconciliation will be successful or not is a matter for the future to decide. All I can say is that I'd have 0 shot with my ex if I didn't go NC. NC made her miss me alot and it helped get me emotionally grounded to where I'm "back to being" me and that make her "sooooo hot." haha

 

Good luck, my friends. I'll be around on the GBT forum, but posting less in this thread as I'm not a part of the challenge anymore!

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm on Day 2 (broke NC on Day 4 earlier this week because he emailed me)

 

story here:

 

Tell you what... why don't you block him on FB. That's what I did. And when he found out he emailed me to say it made him "pretty sad" that i "hated him". I broke NC at that point, hours later after asking people in this forum, to reply and tell him I didn't do it because I hated him.

 

So, now I'm on Day 2.

 

Good luck everyone!!!

 

Is that something you'd wholly recommend doing? I use Bebo, and of course that means I'm susceptible to any updates she makes without even viewing her profile. It sucks.

 

Day 8

 

Starting the second week for the second time. Determined to make it through this time round!

 

 

P.S That sounds really hopeful JohnGalt, I'm happy for you and hope you're happy with whatever outcome you two come to! Best of luck.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am taking control, this is my life and I have neglected myself for far too long, I dont need anyone but myself, It is not the situation that harms you, it is your judment about it, take away the thought of injury and the injury is gone, view the last months or years with your ex as though it was all just a very long dream and that you are now just waking up from.

 

This is how you should think! Bravo!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Its a nice Saturday morning, I dreamed about him all night, and I just woke up missing him, I had to run to the computer to stop from calling him and just feeling stupid because I know he won't even answer because he doesn't care about me. I feel like crying right now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The temptation to contact her, like the break up never happened, catch up and compliment her on her new look is just immense. But I'm only at Day 8, so I'm not gonna do that. It's not like I've deserved the right to.

 

I am however considering blocking her on Bebo so I don't have to go through that pain again. I dunno though, its silly but its a BIG step for me. And if I did, I think I'd have to tell her why I was doing it, I don't want to hurt her at all. She's still very special to me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i have to go NC....i will be starting tomorrow.

this is going to be very difficult

 

right now he is already not on my facebook. i just have to make sure i don't text him, or call him during the week, or go to try to see him. i have to keep my thoughts in my journal or on ENA, not say them to him. if i can do that and he doesn't contact me (he probably will but i am not sure) then maybe it can be done..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

John - I am SO happy for you! Please keep us posted! You are an amazing person. Your ex is lucky to have you.

 

Broken - I hope the weekend was kind to you my friend. I know how tough it is. I'm personally trying to have fun tonight. Going ALL out with friends. Tired of dwelling and mourning over someone who's clearly not missing me and happy with someone else.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It is not the situation that harms you, it is your judgment about it, take away the thought of injury and the injury is gone, view the last months or years with your ex as though it was all just a very long dream and that you are now just waking up from.

 

I like this a lot, it's a new way of thinking about it for me, thanks FriendnorFoe! It's a great way to take control of the situation and empower oneself.

 

Day 10 for me. (keep going, keep going, keep going....)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just got back from seeing a movie with a friend, last house on the left, very violent but was pretty good, earlier went out and bought some new clothes, some medium shirts and panths that I can fit easier into, I have dropped about 10 pounds in the last two weeks, but dont worry this isnt from a lack of eating and being depressed in my room all day, I have been on a good regime of diet and excersise and I would highly recommend it to anyone looking for some outlet for your negative emotions, energy, anyways I have been doing an hour of cardio every day, and 30 mins of weight lifting every other day along with a much healthier diet. So I am losing fat, gaining muscle mass, feeling pretty good emotionally and pyschically I must say. Our mental state is critical to overcoming that which we are perceiving as pain. Excercise really helps you focus and puts logic back into the game. Now with that being said something else I found helpful I would like to share with you is give new-age, atmospheric, soundscape or even some electronic, trance music a try, regardless of what kind of genres everyone is into, I am actually more of a classic rock kinda guy, listening to this music has relaxed me significantly, given me a much clearer view on reality and not be polluted by my emotions. I have been working out to this music recently and found it it has done great things for me along with the excercise, now everyone is into diffrent activities and hobbies, but all I am sayin' is give it a try I guaranteed it will help in some way. I just want to point out that this whole post has been about me, and that is who matters right now, the attention has shifted to myself because I am in control and I choose who deserves the majority of my focus. I dont feel the need to mention my ex or what reminds me of my ex or what I think of my ex to all of you because this is no longer important to me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 2:

 

This is so much harder than I thought. I went through the day without contacting her. Man.. I'm such an idiot for trying to establish contact a few days ago.. doh doh doh. I also haven't contacted my toxic 'best friend' either. He remains blocked on msn. Everyone I have talked to in real life and on this board has said that I need to purge myself of this 'best friend' of mine because he is screwing up my healing process and hes not really a friend at all.

 

I have tried to be as cheerful as possible today but it was difficult. Normally on Saturday afternoons I would be hanging out with my ex and our mutual friends. I ended up sleeping the afternoon away to make the time pass faster. I'm very lonely.. luckily I will be going out tomorrow afternoon.

 

I had a good talk with my Mom about my feelings today. She says she has noticed a huge change in me since the breakup. She says my overall lifestyle has improved and that I've matured significantly and become a much more responsible person. I was glad to hear it. I hope she was being honest and wasn't just saying stuff to make me feel better.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Is that something you'd wholly recommend doing? I use Bebo, and of course that means I'm susceptible to any updates she makes without even viewing her profile. It sucks.

 

Yes, I wholly recommend it it helps a LOT when you aren't jolted when you login, by their status updates or new photos they've uploaded.

 

I am however considering blocking her on Bebo so I don't have to go through that pain again. I dunno though, its silly but its a BIG step for me. And if I did, I think I'd have to tell her why I was doing it, I don't want to hurt her at all. She's still very special to me.

 

BLOCK HER. It helps!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It is now Day 3. Last night I was looking through old photos of him and of us that are stored on my mobile phone, and i didn't even feel like crying. Just a lil sad and wistful, but I laughed at the funny ones, and smiled at the sweet ones.. and that was it.

 

WHEN is the flood of tears supposed to start? Cuz i know deep down I miss him and still love him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This No Contact challenge has helped me with one of the most difficult things I've ever done in my life. Years ago I came accross this forum and, after a few tries of instituting NC (believe me, it IS HARD), successfully recovered from a soul crushing heartache.

 

I'm back here again, after another breakup that I did not initiate. I've gained so much from the first experience and I'm so thankful for all the strangers with kind words to help along the way.

 

Day 3 of NC this time. I'm exhausted but cannot sleep. I keep on thinking about him and the promises he made. He even used the word "forever". Ha. I feel betrayed and let down. When he did the break up, he even mentioned logistics of returning things to each other. I said just send it through the mail. 3 days of silence. I will box all this crap and send them on their merry way. There is no need for contact, for ANYTHING.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It is now Day 3. Last night I was looking through old photos of him and of us that are stored on my mobile phone, and i didn't even feel like crying. Just a lil sad and wistful, but I laughed at the funny ones, and smiled at the sweet ones.. and that was it.

 

WHEN is the flood of tears supposed to start? Cuz i know deep down I miss him and still love him.

 

It likes to jump out and surprise you right when you think you're making improvement. But it's not a bad thing, its good to get it all out of your system. Even though I still miss her just as much as I did then, if not more, not a tear has been shed since

 

Day 9

 

Working up the courage to do the aforementioned block. It really shows how dependent on these social networking platforms society have become when its such a BIG thing for me to block her on it!

 

Also feel slightly unwell. Partied a bit too hard last night

 

It is DONE, complete with a brief text to explain why. It's still Day 9, I'm not expecting a reply.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share


×
×
  • Create New...