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back to hell... angry again


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Well... it happened. I thought my life was gonna look up for once and I could start feeling better. I was wrong. WHY WHY WHY does this happen every time things start to look up and perhaps get a bit better?

 

Computers suck (especially Microsoft. Windows Vista gets an F minus in my book). Mine has one million and one problems with it (not literally) and I have to press REFRESH on firefox at least 10 times to get most sites to even PARTIALLY WORK. It takes 20 minutes to get a 5 minute video to play, which means I'm not getting my anime fix... that alone makes me minorly cranky. I can barely even afford to rent a DVD; the video places around me don't even have great selections of anime!

 

I went to another job interview today. It was a group interview, and since at least 2 of the other people there were single mothers, I'm probably not gonna get a callback for a second interview. Don't get me wrong, I'm not embittered because they're single mothers, but I'm just tired of running myself ragged with the job search and filling out job applications... it tires me out. Oh well, I guess this is the best I can hope for 'cause 2 out of 3 of the jobs I had were HORRIBLE and I sucked at all 3 of them. I'm struggling to find how number 4 might be a bit better. This job search wears the hell outta me; at one point, my right wrist sounded like a cement mixer when I put my ear up to it while rotating it.

 

I of course tried manual labor and exercise, and they worked for a little. However, allergy season is coming, and I'm already having a sore nose for the times I intensely sneeze. I've tried different medicines and sprays, but the problem persists. I get serious allergies ones that almost make a common cold sound pleasing. The computer is a good escape from woes like this, but even that is starting to fail me. ARGH! I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE MICROSOFT, WINDOWS, AND THAT (expletive deleted) BILL GATES RELEASING SHODDY CRAPPY HALF MADE PRODUCTS TO THE PUBLIC! I hope his wife beats him over the head with an Iphone and starts calling Steve Jobs to hit on him right in front of Billy boy.

 

Money sucks. I never have enough of it. I'm stuck on unemployment and am gonna be stuck eating bread scraps soon because I don't have enough money for food and my mom refuses to buy me groceries except for bread and milk. I want to move to Seattle so I can take voice lessons, or at least order the DVD sets, but I'm too broke for either. I can't even buy a new computer 'cause mine went to crap over 3 years ago. Especially in this economy, money is revealing itself as God of this new world. Anyone who says gods can't be created should look at how much the dollar bill really dictates in this world. People slaving away, bleeding, sweating, crying for a piece of paper with some famous guy's face on it... how is that freedom? They say money is a "tool" but I only think it's a tool to prevent communism.

 

Everything has gone back to crap. I'm tired of putting up with it and faking a smile. I have a headache because of it. On the bright side, at least I'm more content with the fact that I NEVER ever want to be in love EVER again... and who gives half a damn about sex? I don't. I really don't care if I die a virgin. All I'm gonna do is donate to the sperm bank to make sure I have replacement for myself. That's all. I must be paying dearly for a lot of horrid things I did in a past life that I'm unaware of, and now I've gotta suffer this incarnation as a borderline-retard loser POS whose happiness alludes him and only came in a tiny bag in smokeable form. I realized I miss pot more than anything else in life; when I was stoned was probably one of the only times I was truly happy. I have to say no to it, cause I like it too much. I still drink once in a blue moon, and I really don't care for alcohol.

 

I hate how stupid I am. I wish I could be super smart so I could PWN all the people who doubt me and make/made me feel like a worthless human being and made me hate every particle of my body. I'm trying to learn a few languages, but I suck at them. I try hard, but I can't seem to speak another language fluently. I have a horrible memory. Asking me to do the easiest math problem is even out of the question because god wanted to heave another burden on my shoulders; dealing with stupidity. "God feels every human emotion" WHAT BS! IF there is a "god" then why would it need to feel hurt? They could automatically make themselves happier out of nowhere without anything positive happening to them or without any effort. The Religious nutjobs out there have no clue what they're talking about. I wish I could be super intelligent like Jobe from The Lawnmower Man or Tetsuo from Akira so I can help cleanse this world of the jerks that make it worse for everyone else. I'm just so angry at everything!

 

I wish I had some pot... this is too depressing. At least pot made all the stupid crap on TV somewhat more humorous.

 

ARGH.

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That was great! Thank you SO much for a properly-written grammatically-correct rant void of the incoherent blithering garbage most half-wits post when they're in a blind rage over some trivial nonsensical redundant unimportant futile somethingorother. You have MADE my day, and if I choke on my tongue tonight asleep at least I'll die knowing that ONE bugger out there is carrying the flag for the literate minority of our species. ROCK ON!!!

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...if it makes you feel any better, your a lot smarter than most people. Anyone could tell just by the way you wrote that. Besides, math problems and languages do not define intelligence.

You're actually quite witty.

So don't think you're stupid-you're not.

 

sorry this is only addressing a small part of what you said by the way.

 

the reason I know what I do is usually coincidence, dumb luck, and pure accident. I'm probably one of the dumbest people on the planet; anyone who truly knows me knows this is absolutely true. It takes a moron like me to screw up my own life in such a messed up way, and thinking so much of myself and myself alone. I'm a horrible selfish person. I just want to spare the world and everyone else of all of my selfish misery.

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