road Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 Hey everyone just been reading around the forums and felt like see what other people would do in my situation. I've been dating (serious) my girl for around 3 years now since i was in high school and had finish high school and started working for a year. Things have been pretty bumpy but we've been able to handle it. The problem is were always fighting and breaking up about the smallest thing and its starting to get worst. Couple of weeks back now we had our worst fight and she went crazy at the night club we were at cause a massive scene. Don't really remember what the fight was about but i am pretty sure it wasn't anything serious but i remember her hitting me and stuff while the bouncers threw me out. At the end of the night we resolved things but we have been having more and more fights now since then and i am actually afraid of the same thing happening again... So i have been thinking of actually letting go of the relationship since there is alot of other things that aren't going so well too. One i have to spend 99% of my time with her and she is aloud to go out with her friends (she rarely does) but over the past 3 years i have lost all my friends... Meeting up probably once every 3 months or so. The thing is she is always with me. So i never get to meet anyone without her and it's kinda a drag now. Second she makes me feel guilty about spending time with my family. She makes me feel like i neglect her whenever i have something else to do and since i have lost my friends over the years my family is all i have specially my brother who is growing up. Third she ALWAYS has to be part of everything i do. Couple of things i don't mind but seriously everything i do has to go past her. My independence -1. I never thought ill end up in a relationship like this but i guess this is how things had to start in my adult life lol. Im just kinda confused at the moment and just wanted to see what would you guys here would do in my situation. Cheers. I know im no saint myself but i just wanted to see what everyone else thought. (Sorry my English is kinda dodgy) Link to comment
steelcitymstro Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 Dude...you are too young to be saying "I guess this is how things had to start in my adult life." No, things do NOT have to start this way! I don't want to be a hypocrite here...I got married young at 21, but I've also been in a relationship similar to what you're describing. You've made a huge investment of your time (3 years) and your hesitant to let that relationship fail because of the effort you've put into it. But you have to be honest with yourself--time together does not equal a healthy relationship, it just equals a long relationship. No offense, but your g/f sounds very immature (i.e. she handles disagreements physically instead of having a heart-to-heart) and I'm guessing she has other emotional baggage based on how needy she seems to be. As a younger guy who is married, I can tell you with certainty that all of the little issues you have when you're dating are magnified when your relationship becomes more serious. As for you, how much dating experience do you have? From the way you talk, it doesn't seem as if you have much--again, no offense, but I think that with more dating experience, you'll see that a good relationship is a healthy balance between both individuals' wants and needs. Your relationship seems very one-sided and that's not good for either of you. It's not good for you because you never seem to get your way and it's not good for her to think that she can make all of your decisions for you. My advice is that, if the two of you cannot find ways to resolve disagreements in a mature way, then you're probably not as compatible as you've been hoping you are. It may be best for the both of you to move on.... Link to comment
road Posted March 28, 2009 Author Share Posted March 28, 2009 Thanks for the reply mate feels a lot better knowing there is someone much more experienced out there then me (obviously). I think i might try to resolve things with her face to face tonight >_ She does have a lot of baggage though that's where i think the problem stems from family issues around her father and some other stuff. Dating experience has mainly been composed of just flings and 1 other serious relationship >_ If things don't go so well i am hoping to end the relationship on good terms. Thanks again for help Link to comment
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