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Speed bumps in a beginner relationship/ TEXTing stree


ATLstudent

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So met a girl recently and really really like being with her, spending time together. We have been dating for about a month now and see each other about twice a week. When we are together its heaven, but apart some problems arise. Phone conversations are getting shorter, she just doesnt really talk, im doing all the work. Also with texting .....its driving me mad.....She'lll like disappear and not respond to my text...i know shes not doing anything. Its like we are playing text games, and its annoying. Sometimes i just dont have anything to say to her on the phone, and its like dead silence, ahh.

 

So is this normal do relationships have rocky parts at the start, obviously i was hoping for her to be a sweet heart, and she has been, but i feel like im getting some attitute lately, Any advice, comments, or help please.

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Could conversations possibly be getting shorter because you're past that first stage of getting to know each other? In many of my relationships we'll talk on the phone for hours in the first couple/few weeks because we don't know a lot about each other, and as we move from phone convos to hanging out in person more and we've learned a lot about each other, the phone conversations tend to be limited to the basic "how was your day?" and/or making plans to actually hang out with each other.

 

Just a thought? You could always ask her if there's a reason she seems more distant...she also might not be aware that something's changed.

 

And I agree, put a stop (or at least a limit) to the texting.

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Yeah, just cut back on contacting her. She might be pulling away because you're too available to her.

 

Remember, attractive and interesting men have better things to do than chat every day with a girl they've only been seeing for a month. Just do something else, or maybe even ask a different girl out to cool this thing off (I assume you aren't exclusive yet). Next time she calls, call her back at a time she doesn't expect. Instead of texting her next time, write on her facebook wall or send an e-mail. Something that will be different.

 

Sounds like you like this girl so far, and you've got to be happy that its lasted this far. She might be getting quieter because she likes you and is actually getting more nervous as it progresses.

 

And don't talk on the phone with her for more than a half hour. Next time there's a silence, say, "well, alright, I'm gonna go bowling with some buddies [or any activity] I'll talk to you later." You'll be much more attractive, trust me.

 

I've been seeing a girl for almost 3 months and that exact thing happened to me. I realized that I was just making it too easy for her. And yes, young relationships are tough because of the insecurity involved in that phase where you aren't just dating, but you also aren't committed.

 

For us men, its the hardest part of the relationship I think. We control the early dating; we do the initial asking out, and its our job to call her after that. Its easier for us to decide that we want a relationship with someone than it is for them, so we will be ready to take it to the next level and they will still be feeling us out. It is very tough on us guys to be where you're at. Good luck, and be thankful you've made it this far with a girl that is worth worrying about.

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Could conversations possibly be getting shorter because you're past that first stage of getting to know each other? In many of my relationships we'll talk on the phone for hours in the first couple/few weeks because we don't know a lot about each other, and as we move from phone convos to hanging out in person more and we've learned a lot about each other, the phone conversations tend to be limited to the basic "how was your day?" and/or making plans to actually hang out with each other.

 

Just a thought? You could always ask her if there's a reason she seems more distant...she also might not be aware that something's changed.

 

And I agree, put a stop (or at least a limit) to the texting.

 

That's part of it, but IMO, this is the part of the relationship where everyone is the MOST on edge.

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