GinoBambino Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 First off let me start off and say that i know that i am a over analytical person. I love my girlfriend alot, and this makes me question everything she does and it drives me nuts because i feel as if i'm stuck on her or needy whatever, I absolutely cannot help it, i have never ever been this way i think it's because i have been wronged before in the past and now that i have someone who i love i want to have a perfect solid relationship. She is the kind of girl who does not like to talk, she claims that she cannot form things into words and that whenever she does it comes out sounding bad and it upset's me, and she's right most of the time it does but i try not to act pissed off or whatever. Im allways trying to figure out whats going on with her because i know her well enough to know that there's a problem. We used to have sex all the time, we still have sex a couple times a week but not as crazy as we once were, she claims that she wants to make sex more special and something not a routine, i can understand that so im okay with that. So im on the computer and im looking for a website i visited and i see two days of just straight porn watching she did when she went home for a few days, i dont want to be alarmed but she really went to town on the porn watching hours even, and im a guy i like to masterbate once in a while but id rather have sex with my girlfriend, so im wondering if she's so horny and watches porn by herself what does that mean for us? is she not satisfied? I admit we dont really have sex like we used to but she dosn't let make love to her alot. I dont know, i want to just let it go and not be worried but it's not like she got on and got off and continued her day, she was porn bingeing. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 Porn can be addicting. Sounds like she's crossed a line to just watching it to addiction. Link to comment
Kaiser_Soze Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 Have you talked to her about it? You should approach it in a way not to make her feel uncomfortable. It is perfectly normal for a woman to be into porn. This isn't neccasarily any negative reflection of your relationship with her. I think this may be exactly what you need to rejuvinate your sex life. She's gotta feel safe and not judged in order to bring you guys closer. Just my opinion. Link to comment
Qut81 Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 She might be watching the porn and taking care of her own "needs", if you know what I mean. That might be why she is not up for sex lately. Talk with her about it. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 IF she is avoiding sex and turning to porn then there is an issue with addiction. However if sex has just fallen off as she feels that sex is too routine then that is a different issue. I think you need to figure out the issue here. If this has only been one instance with her viewing porn then I dont think there is an addiction issue. You also need to learn that you cannot blame your over analysis and trust issues on your past. Just because you have been wronged in the past doesnt mean that your gf has wronged you so you need to realize that. Link to comment
Aurian Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 She is the kind of girl who does not like to talk, she claims that she cannot form things into words and that whenever she does it comes out sounding bad and it upset's me, and she's right most of the time it does but i try not to act pissed off or whatever. Im allways trying to figure out whats going on with her because i know her well enough to know that there's a problem This might be one reason you are feeling over-analytical - the fact that you have to analyze and try figure out problems because she is having trouble talking about them. Is the way she talks about them emotional and accusing? ("YOu do this, YOU don`t do that....") There are articles online about how to discuss tough subjects in a less accusing way. Have you asked about other ways to discuss things? I know I certainly find it easier to write stuff down and get my bf to read them sometimes. I can calm down and edit what I say so that my concerns and feelings come accross without being harsh. I would hope that you two can find ways to discuss things without being too scary for either of you. I guess she is feeling that sex has gotten routine, but is having trouble expressing what she would like. I guess she is either using the porn for ideas or is taking care of herself... Have you asked her what she would like? Maybe some fantasies to spice things up? Link to comment
teressa Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 An alternate point of view, I have watched a ton of porn once when the sex between me and my partner wasn't so great; I spent almost a whole day watching tons of stuff trying to get ideas of things I could do or we could try, to make things better. I was getting ideas not just satisfying myself. If I watch porn to "take care of" myself I'd be on and off the computer pretty quickly but when I was looking for things to try out, or seeing if there were things I might like that I didn't know about, I spent hours, a whole day, in there looking. Maybe she isn't happy with how you guys are doing things and is trying to find new ways to be sexy with you? Link to comment
teressa Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 If she has a hard time expressing herself this might be why. It can be hard to ask someone to do different things, or tell someone what they're doing isn't what you like, and that only gets worse if you don't want to hurt their feelings. Watching all that porn might be her way of trying to figure out what to ask for or how to do that. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.