A little confused

[paul084]

This is kinda complicated and long so bare with me please. So there is this girl that i met online about 18 months ago. She found me on myspace, and decided to send me a message. We started to talk and became really great friends. She's been in and out of a few bad relationships. There was one guy in particular who just kept screwing her over. She ended up joining the army last Feb to try and stay away from him. She ended up having to come back home for a funeral over the summer and hooked up with him again. After that a month later she came back home for about 3 weeks because she had graduated boot camp and basic. They were together again. Then when she was going back he did usually crap to her telling her she was no good for him, and she's the reason his life is screwed up. So she goes back to Missouri, and starts dating another guy like immediately. Then a few weeks later around the first part of Sept. she finds out she's pregnant. Some stuff happens to her in the army and she gets out and comes back home to VA in December. I go and visit her in January (we live about 4 hrs apart) and stay for a few days. This is the first time I've really gotten to hang out with her, just me and her. So on the drive back I'm like hating having to leave there, and I'm telling myself that "We're just friends, nothing more." Then looking back at some of the comments and things she's said to me I started to wonder if she was into me. Then all the sudden outta nowhere it hit me, that I really care about her a lot, and really want a relationship with her. So I go back and forth on what to do and what to say. So I sent her a message on myspace telling her how I felt. Keep in mind she was still trying to have a relationship with the other guy, but I told her anyways. About 3 days go by, and I don't hear from her. Then I sent her another message saying fine whatever don't talk to me anymore, spend the rest of your life with that loser ect. After that I feel really bad and keep apologizing and trying to get her to talk to me. Won't respond to anything, blocks me on myspace and cuts off all contact. We don't talk for about 5 weeks. Those 5 weeks seemed like an eternity, and was the worst experience I've ever had in my life. It was almost unbearable at times. Well finally I get a message from her sister on Feb28 saying she's in a halfway house. I'm like * * * is going on. Her sis was like call her asap she doesn't care what time you call. So I called her, and we talked but not about what was said between us, but about what he'd done to her this time. Anyways, skip ahead to now. She's definitely done with him, and he's getting put in jail on multiple charges. Now I know she isn't ready for a relationship yet. Still aways away from that, but she knows how I feel about her now, and I want to tell again and bring it up. Oh and there is this other guy who keeps trying to date her and get her to move in with him. She is like no I don't wanna relationship with anyone right now. I need to focus on the baby and getting things straight. He just keeps at it and it pisses her off. So, obviously I know the time isn't right for me to bring that up. We talk through phone, aim, text everyday for at least 2 hours. It just sucks like last nights conversation was about the other guy trying his crap again. She will say when I decide to date again my criteria is going to be way different and if the right person comes along then we'll see. Then she lists out her criteria of stuff like "he's gotta come from a good family, parents still married, license to drive a car, have a car, a job, no convictions and a likes children. I'm thinking well that describes me. I also just noticed and I don't know if it means anything but she didn't say anything about the guy having his own place, which is the one thing I don't have yet. So I guess I should just sit back and keep waiting right? And does the thing about her not mentioning the apartment or house mean anything, or am I just over analyzing? Any feedback will be greatly appreciated thanks in advance. Or if you need more info let me know.

[Aurian]

YOu might get more responses if you broke up that wall O' text into paragraphs... it is a bit hard to read.

 

My advice is to just try be a friend for now, because this woman needs to straighten out her life first. If you try push things and want to date her, she will probably be a mess still. It is very hard for a victim to break free from an abuser. She needs to have time to sort herself out and time to find her feet before dating again.

 

She might be interested in you, she might not be. But you are asking for heartbreak if you try date her now.