Fights over movie watching

[Fela Kuti]

Hi all,

 

I'm on the way of getting back together with my ex. We're now discussing the things that caused fights so it won't happen again if we're together again. One of the things is fights over movie watching. I'm the type of person who hates spending some bucks and 2 hours to watch something that in my opinion is crap. I've told her this when we're together but still she was often upset when I refused to accompany her to watch movies I don't like. What's your take on this? My defense is that a gf should understand his bf dislikes and her defense is that a bf should make some sacrifice to make his gf happy. Our discussion is running in circle because of this. Do you guys have some advice? Thanks

[DN]

Compromise - don't go as often but go sometimes. Really, it's just a couple of hours of your time every now and again. There are times in a relationship you do things you really don't like very much for the benefit of your partner.

[villie]

i get where your coming from, why would you want to spend money on a movie you dont like right? I guess she is seeing it as that as a bf you should compromise and see it with her.

 

Maybe it can be like you see one of her choices (even if u dont want to) and then she sees one of your (even if she doens't want to).

 

Or agree to just go to the movies to see ones that you both do. If the other doesn't. Go with a friend or wait until its on DVD to hire.

 

Sometimes you can get vouchers - 2 for 1 and that might help so you dont have to spend the whole cost to a ticket for a movie your not keen on

[CynicalGuitarist]

Perhaps try watching movies you BOTH hate?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

In a relationship sometimes you have to do what the other person likes to do even if you hate it. So every so often just join her for one of the movies she likes and instead of feeling like it is a waste, look at it as time spent with her making her happy and connecting with her.

[top bloke]

Everyone has different tastes. Whoever it is. If you want to be with them we have to comprimise sometimes. Theres worse things a woman can do in a relationship...so try to make the best of it..cheers..

[Fela Kuti]

Maybe it can be like you see one of her choices (even if u dont want to) and then she sees one of your (even if she doens't want to).

 

I proposed this when we're together and she said she didn't mind watching ANY movie so the trade off wouldn't be fair.

[villie]

I proposed this when we're together and she said she didn't mind watching ANY movie so the trade off wouldn't be fair.

 

She didn't mind watching any? well thats good. It might not be fair to you, as you'd sit through a movie your gonna hate, while she will watch anything, but she still watches the ones you want. In a relationship you still compromise.

 

or, if that, ask for her to do something with you that you've been wanting to do or a place you want to go to that may not entirely interest her, but because it does for you, she goes. i guess the trade off doesn't have to be a movie.

[travwilbury]

Hi all,

 

I'm on the way of getting back together with my ex. We're now discussing the things that caused fights so it won't happen again if we're together again. One of the things is fights over movie watching. I'm the type of person who hates spending some bucks and 2 hours to watch something that in my opinion is crap. I've told her this when we're together but still she was often upset when I refused to accompany her to watch movies I don't like. What's your take on this? My defense is that a gf should understand his bf dislikes and her defense is that a bf should make some sacrifice to make his gf happy. Our discussion is running in circle because of this. Do you guys have some advice? Thanks

 

I am biased because I like movies. However, I can also understand that if partner wanted to take me to ballroom dancing or something like that, I would not be too thrilled to go.

 

You sound like you need to compromise more. How often is she asking you to go? Why couldn't you just go once in awhile if it makes her happy without any comments about cost or a waste of time? And her point is correct to me, why shouldn't a partner sacrifice to make partner happy on occasion? Seems logical to me.

[livelarge]

Here's the deal. I wouldn't pay for a movie that I hated if I was going alone, but I sure would if I a friend/boyfriend/family member wanted to see it. It's not about paying for the movie. It's about being with that other person. And it seems like your saying, spending time with your girlfriend isn't worth $12 to you.

[Fela Kuti]

Here's the deal. I wouldn't pay for a movie that I hated if I was going alone, but I sure would if I a friend/boyfriend/family member wanted to see it. It's not about paying for the movie. It's about being with that other person. And it seems like your saying, spending time with your girlfriend isn't worth $12 to you.

 

well, what i'm thinking is that there are many better ways to spend $12. but good point, though.

[redreine]

I agree with livelarge.

 

People in relationships have to deal with lying, cheating, abuse...so many horrible things. It seems to me that you're basically complaining about the fact that sometimes you have to actually DO something to make the woman you love happy.

[JeckyllNHyde]

Hi all,

 

I'm on the way of getting back together with my ex. We're now discussing the things that caused fights so it won't happen again if we're together again. One of the things is fights over movie watching. I'm the type of person who hates spending some bucks and 2 hours to watch something that in my opinion is crap. I've told her this when we're together but still she was often upset when I refused to accompany her to watch movies I don't like. What's your take on this? My defense is that a gf should understand his bf dislikes and her defense is that a bf should make some sacrifice to make his gf happy. Our discussion is running in circle because of this. Do you guys have some advice? Thanks

 

I get where you're coming from but can't help and feel like your gf feels. And I'm a pretty understanding person lol.

 

Why not only go see the GOOD movies and the cinema (check out trailers and reviews before hand) and leave the crap movies for DVD. Going out to see movies every time can get expensive. But I think she just wants to go out and have fun date nights.

 

Maybe you guys can go out other places instead of going to the movies all the time.

Other ways to avoid conflict is to compromise as DN stated, and talk it out so you both come to an arrangement which you're both happy with. Maybe one time you pick, another time she picks (renting DVD's and movies used to be a tiny issue with me and the bf too! Lol. Also, we try and be as flexible as possible when we notice the other wants to watch something else.)

[Fela Kuti]

Why not only go see the GOOD movies and the cinema (check out trailers and reviews before hand) and leave the crap movies for DVD. Going out to see movies every time can get expensive. But I think she just wants to go out and have fun date nights.

 

She doesn't want to judge a movie as good or crap before she watched it herself, lol. No matter though, this problem is sorted now.

[pumpkinmoon]

I see your point but I do think you are being unreasonable. When I want to see something that he doesn't he goes with me anyway and he has always been surprised and has actually enjoyed the film, even girly ones and it is the same the other way around. He dragged me to the cinema to watch Transformers, I really didn't want to but I went anyway and I loved the film. I really don't see the big deal here. If you went along, you would probably enjoy them too.

[Maya_A]

I am not an avid movie goer myself. My 2 cents is to agree to go with her once in every X amount of time. For example, once per month (or 5, 6 weeks, etc.) you will see a movie with her

 

Outside of those times you go, I don't see why she can't go with a friend if she loves movies so much. No point in making you sit through something consistently, just because she wants to be with you & not someone else, if you are not enjoying yourself.

 

Relationships are about compromise yes, and if you are getting back together it is good to understand this, but she would need to compromise going with you all the time as well.

[konstantine]

It seems like you are being a bit petty about it. As if EVERYthing should be * * * for tat (as you mentioned, it's not "fair") but in a reality, a relationship takes a lot of compromise and giving on BOTH ends. I think occassionally you need to give in and see a movie you don't really love if it will make her happy and it lets you spend time together. At the same time, she can't be asking you to do this every week or so. Once every few months seems acceptable to me.