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My ex bf, who I was with for 3 years, dumped me 4 days ago for many reasons... which were basically abt him not knowing what he wants, feeling too young to settle down and blah blah blah.


We have broken up twice before that in our 3 yrs together and I was always quite a wreck and checked his facebook page 20 times a day, etc...


This time... although I still care for and love him... I am actually calm and composed and not frantic at all. I have started NC since the breakup phone call (we're in a LDR) and finally decided enough was enough and deleted him off my MSN list and blocked him on Facebook. For my own good. I have never had the guts or will to do it before, but this time I decided to do something positive for myself.


So, guess what? I blocked him 4 hours ago... and less than an hour later, he sends me this email:




It makes me pretty sad you blocked me on facebook. I wish you wouldn't

decide to hate me but I guess I have no say in that."


Thing is.. i DON'T hate him. I'm doing it for my own sake. I wish I could tell him i didn't hate him but I don't want to break NC.


What I wanna know is... does it really seem like something 'hateful' to do, when our breakup conversation was very civil and ended with us wishing each other well? I just don't want to have the temptation of reading his FB page or seeing his updates on my newsfeed and stuff, that's why i did it.

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Hmm, I know where you're coming from. I've thought about deleting my ex from my myspace, but haven't done it yet since I'm still the first friend on her top friends. It is difficult not to check it all the time though. Luckily for me she uses facebook way more often and I haven't added her on facebook as of yet.


But no, I don't think it's hateful at all. But I can see how for him, without any explaination, would get hurt by it (I think I would to.) If he knew that it was just for your sake, he might understand, but then I know you don't want to break the NC.


I guess all I can say is that if I were in this situation I might send him a very short, straight to the point email and tell him that so he doesn't think you hate him, and let that be that.

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if I were in this situation I might send him a very short, straight to the point email and tell him that so he doesn't think you hate him, and let that be that.



I agree with this completely.

No sense in there being a hurtful misunderstanding.

Just let him know (in whatever words) that it's important for you to focus on your day-to-day life right now, and that virtual connections to a relationship that's ended will get in the way of that.

Point out that he can still reach you via email should he need to, but that you just need a bit of space right now.

Remind him that you wish him well, and will be in touch when you're able to do so.

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Thanks for the advice, guys...


Thing is if I email him I'm back to Day 1 of NC. Then again why is that such a big problem? I should just email him shouldn't I? It's only been 4 days of NC after all.


Ugh... I have a feeling I'm thinking of not emailing him because of pride and I don't wanna be that way. I don't want it to turn into something spiteful or malicious even if it didn't start that way.


Screw it. I'm emailing him now.

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Ok.. sent the email. This is what I wrote:


"I didn't block you on Facebook because I hate you.


It's just something I feel I have to do."


Part of me wishes he would reply and part of me wishes he won't.





exactly the problem with responding to him.


If you were going to tell him you were going NC, you should've done it ex ante.

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my ex cut me as a friend on facebook and untagged some 25 of our photos. She said it was because it would be too hard to look at the pictures.


I unfriended my ex ages ago, and his friends and family. Deleted all of the photos of us together. And no, I didn't tell him why. I did it for me. He never reached out to ask why, because he probably knows. It hurt, but in the long run it was the best thing I ever did. I don't regret it at all now.


The thing about a break-up is that both parties lose the need to have to explain themselves and their actions to each other.

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Thanks guys...


I actually feel a bit better about telling him. And I don't expect a reply.


Still the breakup is fresh, and I'm still going through the whole phase where everytime my phone beeps or I get an email my first thought is "i hope it's him saying he wants me back" haha.. I know it doesn't make ANY sense and it's like I have two voices in my head, the stupid hopeful one and another scolding voice that immediately shoots those thoughts down and admonishes me. LOL.

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