cherryx2boomx2 Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 I'm 17 years old and for the past 3 years my parents have been getting me put on medications for some sort of mental health problem I don't think I have. I've been on 4 different anti depressants so far. They did nothing for me even though I took them faithfully for months. I'm not going to deny the fact that somethings wrong with me because I know there is. I like to party which with my friends always means alcohol and drugs. My parents are very religious and I myself have been going to church for as long as I can remember. I have tried Meth shrooms acid coke crack weed and e on top of drinking. Somehow my parents have no clue about any of it. I've had alot of close calls because I've come home cracked out before but they never realized. I used to do e and coke a lot. They day I woke up and realized I tried Meth I decided I needed to stop and I did. I am honestly 100% clean of those kind of drugs. I do still drink lot though. At parties and sometimes just throughout the day. However almost 2 months ago my parents decided I now have add and managed to get me diagnosed with it. My doctor put me on 30 mg Ritalin daily but switched me to 15 mg adderall daily. I couldn't help myself. I stared taking 90 mg daily. My pills come in bottles of 14 so far I've "lost" one bottle and "dropped one in the toilet" accidentally. So intead of the total 28 pills I should have taken I took 56. Some days none most days 6. It all depends if I work and have school or not. It works so amazingly. I don't feel depressd and I have all the energy in the world. The problem. I don't crash till 5 am and wake up at 7 and take more. I don't eat because I'm never hungry on it. 3 days ago I got a new bottle of 14 and it's gone and I'm sitting here freaking out and wondering how I'm gonna get through tomorrow and wishing this medication didn't make my heart beat out of control all the time. It perfectly mirrors the feelings i had when i was addicted to coke. I don't know what to do. I just need to get more but I know what'll happen. I don't know how long I can keep this up. I mean how long can you run purely on adderall for... guess I'm just looking for general advice on my situation . Thanks Oh yeah... And I just wanted to say if any parents of add kids read this be careful...actually pay attention to your kids meds because it gets so out of control so quickly. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 Both my adult "kids" are on drugs for serious psychological disorders. I would know if they were overdosing and intervene immediately. I think your doctor is negligent if he isn't reporting the "lost" drugs to your parents. You will not live long if you continue, but of course you are smart enough to know this. Tell your parents what you've done and get help fast! Link to comment
cherryx2boomx2 Posted March 27, 2009 Author Share Posted March 27, 2009 my parents are the people I told I lost them in the first place. I just had to stop by my doctors and he wrote me new prescriptions. I know I should tell them but then I won't be able to get more even though I know I need to stop. I've been here before. I got off coke without my parents even realizing I was on it in the first place. So much has happed in my life because of my drug problem and the people involved in that world and I think that's the source of my problems. But they don't realize that because they never realized I had a drug problem in the first place. My doctors putting me on mood stabalizers for my alleged bipolar disorder along with my add meds. They're right to think somethings wrong but they're trying to solve it in the wrong way because they don't get he problem. I know myself. My addictions counsellor says I have an addictive personality and she's right. I just don't really know how todeal with this now. I feel stupid going to them for help with taking too much adderall after I've been able to do everything else by myself. Link to comment
unabashed Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 It can be dangerous and is nearly impossible to wean yourself off of prescription medications. You know, too, that this isn't all about the medication. Getting off of drugs and alcohol involves detoxing--getting them out of your system, and rehab--learning new ways of coping so you can remain clean and healthy. Good for you for recognizing that there is a big problem here. I guess it's hard for the adults who love you to want to see the whole truth. But, you sound very courageous. Please be persistent in talking to your parents or to a school counselor about your problem, and insist on getting the help you need. You may need something for a psychiatric issue, too, but that is for a psychiatrist to decide--most likely after your system is clear of the influence of other drugs. I wish you all the best--keep asking for help until you get what you need. Link to comment
odile Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 You need to be honest with your doctors and counsellors-- COMPLETELY honest-- or else you're just building a house of cards. By not being honest, you are making more problems for yourself in the long run. Don't kid yourself about being able to "quit coke", because it sounds like all you really did is replace it with something else. At 17, your brain is still growing, and the things that you do right now can impact you for the rest of your adult life. Please stop gambling with yourself; it's time to step up and get the help that you need. Link to comment
odile Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 P.S. you know how you are "freaking out", and your heart is racing? These are REALLY BAD signs. By abusing amphetamines, you're putting yourself at risk not just for a case of the "crazies", but also for cardiac arrest. Link to comment
yellowcal Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 I agree with the others. You need to open up and be honest. I too have struggled with drug addiction in the past so I know it isn't just something that you can kick overnight but the first step you need to take is telling your parents. I'm trying to figure out how they don't find it suspicious that you have "lost" so many pills. Especially with something as dangerous as adderall is. But definitely speak with your doctor, parents or someone you need to get help getting off of these pills. You stopped the other drug addictions and just moved on to this one. Please get help before it's too late. You're still really young. Link to comment
sidehop Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 Adderall made me very depressed when it wore off to the point I thought of suicide. It was THAT bad for me. I understand how and why normal people with ADD/ADHD end up committing suicide after that whole incident. Adderall for some could really cause a lot of harm. Link to comment
NightLily Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 One thing I am worried about here is that if you do have some sort of mental instability, the drug use could push you over the edge by altering your brain chemistry. This could put you at risk for developing Bipolar or schizophrenia. Neither of these are enjoyable in the least.... Link to comment
sidehop Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 Exactly, they are drugs after all, legal or not they will have an affect. People are like "wow you get so much done and talkative with that drug" but they don't realize the side effects from lack of appetite that made me so tired, some nights of restlessness, emotional ups & downs and with Adderall it multiplied everything in ten folds. Concerta/Ritalin was much better in that sense although I still wouldn't go back to it. Link to comment
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