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I have the ability to know everything... please help.


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it's been a month of nc

 

i realized that her password hasn't changed and i could possibly read all of her instant messages between her and her new boyfriend...

 

i refuse to do it. i won't let myself.

 

after i learned of this ability, i thought, i would eventually do it and i might as well get it over with sooner than later.

 

then i asked myself why this is controlling my life??

 

and i realized it was because i was still playing the game, and i hadn't let go yet. so i deleted her off of myspace and facebook... and i felt relief.

 

and i need to repeat to myself these three things:

 

1. she is not my girlfriend anymore

2. i have no control over her decisions or emotions no matter what i do

3. knowing won't bring anything but needless pain.

 

 

how would you guys handle it if you had the ability to look into your exes new relationship?? i litterally could just type in two things, and click two buttons and i could read all that they wrote to eachother over the past few weeks...

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I have had this with my ex before. I had caught him flirting during the relationship and so to rebuild trust, I had his passwords. I know it may be really hard but is it possible to tell her to change her passwords? I had to do this with my ex to alleviate the temptation.

 

If you really are able to understand this is not about her, but about you being able to move on, then you should be able to understand that this will help you!

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Yes, I was too! But it is better to feel that way and get it over with. It is best to try hard to realize you don't care about whats she thinks but that you care about your best interests here. Just tell her you have the password and at times when you miss her you are curious about what she is up to. Tell her you have not looked and do not want to but would rather it just be changed so it isn't an option.

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Everytime you're tempted, just remind myself...do you REALLY want to know?

Do you want to read all those exchanges between them and just feel disgusted?

Remind yourself of all the progress you've made, and maybe reading whatever there is to read will just set you back to square 1.

You'e been doing fine so far without knowing. What's another time of not looking?

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One way I have of not being tempted to snoop on my ex, or anyone else in the past is remembering a saying that my mother told me:

 

"People who eavesdrop never hear good about themselves".

 

I guarantee if you had a look, you would read some reference to yourself which - no matter how harmless - would cause you pain as it would hurt you to know you were being discussed. I mean, you are her ex, she will have mentioned you, even if it is in pleasant terms like, "I hope he's doing ok".

 

Remember that. It worked for me!

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In my opinion I wouldn't tell her you know her pass. You're asking for trouble. Doesn't matter if you looked or not, she'll think you did and you'll be scorned for it. I've been there and after the BS an EX put me through because I told her...

 

And as, justmyview, says if you do look your only asking for more pain. Pain you just don't need. Just forget about it and let it slide.

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Don't do it. One of the reasons my ex and I are no longer together is because I violated his privacy by using his password to look on his FB. Luckily he changed it before we broke up so I don't have the temptation now. Maybe have a mutual friend remind your ex that you still have her password and that she should probably change it.

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Don't do it. One of the reasons my ex and I are no longer together is because I violated his privacy by using his password to look on his FB. Luckily he changed it before we broke up so I don't have the temptation now. Maybe have a mutual friend remind your ex that you still have her password and that she should probably change it.

 

Nope... wouldn't do it. You'll be sorry.

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