Ex-gf is coming on to me really strong and it'is stirring old emotions.

[justanotherhurtguy]

So my ex has been calling me A LOT lately. It's mostly been just friendly conversation since I am in a close relationship with someone else. But lately, she has been saying that she misses me a lot, that she's lonely, and she wants me to come visit her (we live in different states now). I was planning on coming back to visit my family and friends and she lives there too. She is moving to a new place and has been wanting me to come visit her at her new apartment.

 

I do care about her a lot. I do miss hanging out with her a lot. We had SO much in common and even though I am with my current girlfriend and we have already said the "I love you" to each other. Part of me is just missing something from our current relationship. I think part of me misses my ex and it's starting to worry me. I've been thinking about her a lot more and I don't know what to do. She hurt me a lot when she left and it took a long time for me to get over her.

 

Now she says how much of a mistake she made and that she misses me, but knows I'm with someone else. I don't want to cut her off because I still care deeply about her, but does that mean I still love her?

[king6]

She hurt me a lot when she left and it took a long time for me to get over her.

Just think long and hard about that, and if you want to put yourself through it again and jepordize what you have with your current S.O.

 

I wouldnt even make a consideration for her until she comes back and pours out to you. Dont go to her.

[villie]

If you love your new girlfriend and want it to work. i would cut off all contact with the ex. even though that may be hard. you can explain to her why.

 

You may still love her. But do you want to be back with her? She hurt you. Would she do it again? Can you go through that again? if no, you need to make that clear to her if you want to be friends, and make sure she understands u are with someone else.

 

if she is around, those 'old feelings' wont disappear espically if they are strong.

 

I wouldnt contact her.

[denise_14]

visitng your ex might not only hurt your current S.O but also might trigger a potential reconciliation between you and ex.. especially if you still have strong feelings for her. if you feel that you won't be able to keep it plain platonic, might as well do not contact her again. it would be best for all of you since doing so will give the ex signals that you're no longer interested and will free her from all false hopes; you will be guilt-free, have peace of mind, and totally recover from your past relationship; and your current S.O. will not get hurt nor feel betrayed.

[odile]

Your ex-gf broke up with you. Why?

And then she waited a long time before trying to reconnect. Why?

And why is she so fervently pursuing your attention now that she thinks that your happily involved with someone else?

 

My guess is that now that she is lonely, and going through some major changes, that she is tempted to reach back for

Mr. Familiar and reliable-- i.e., you.

Plus, there is the chance that she thinks that now that you're involved with another, she doesn't have to worry about any commitment-- she can just have some attention and run with it.

 

I am sure that you had a lot in common, but it wasn't enough to keep her from breaking up with you.

Not to mention, she is in a different state from you, so any reconciliation (should you be entertaining thoughts of this) seem a touch far-fetched logistically speaking.

 

I'm going to go out on a limb here,

From what you are saying, it sounds like what might be missing in this new relationship is YOU.

 

Part of you still hasn't healed from the last break-up, and whether or not you decide to stay in this new relationship, I think that going NC with the ex makes a lot of sense.

 

It's probably the only way that you can clear that bit of your past out, and put it away where it belongs-- the past.

If you are going to be able to have a good friendship with the ex at a later date, it will only be able to come after you've healed from the hurt of your (now ended) former relationship.

 

Also, did you mean it when you told the new girlfriend that you loved her?

If so, you'll want to tread very carefully, or you could risk losing her.