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Clubbing and not Pulling


Mace

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But i AM a confident dancer. I am very good at it.

 

Someone who was born with rhythm and loves dance learning to do those hideous line dances is much like an artist being told to color in a coloring book IMO.

 

And aside from that the people who DON"T like to dance might not enjoy the contrived part of learning it a certain way even more boring.

 

 

What's this rhythm you speak of? lol That is something I seriously lack.

 

I can't even keep a beat for the most part.

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Well your openess to the subject already gets you miles ahead of jonny15 and I hope you know why.

 

Yes, dancing could really help you pick up women especially in a bar.

 

But realize this, it's not that hard to learn! And if it's freestyle all you really have to do is step right, step left, step right, step left. Seen Hitch? There you go.

 

As for structured dances... (salsa, swing, 2 step, ballroom) take a lesson (wonderful place to meet women!) These teachers are brilliant! Granted it is about 100% times harder for a man to learn how to dance than a woman... (men lead... women follow... always) but if you're committed you'll meet tons of ladies... as you get better you'll be seeked out by women, women will line up and claim dibbs on you at dances and your confidence will take a shot for the stars.

 

Almost all of this is true. Taking dance lessons will force you to meet women. You will probably become friends with them as well. My eyelids were forced wide open by that fact. To be honest, if you're a single man and you haven't tried to learn how to dance, you're being lazy. I cannot rationalize it logically. Sure, it may not be your 'thing.' But it is on par with being wealthy, playing an instrument and simple damned looks as far as meeting women is concerned. Of those, dancing and playing an instrument are the most under your control. Dancing has the benefit of showing you to be a healthy and active person, which women always appreciate.

 

The only part of this post I'd disagree with is that men have it easier than women... Perhaps at higher levels of 'structured' dance, this is true. I am referring to 'structured' dance only, by the way. Feels like you ladies have to learn FAR more steps than we do. You have to do so much more with your feet! We swing you around, but you do most of the work. Feels like that, anyway. I can come up with stuff to do all day. That's not hard at all. There are ten million possible steps... But reacting and performing them are, to me, amazing talents.

 

I see this on freestyle dance floors all the time. I'm a bit of a flirt and like to dance, so if I see a girl who is willing, there's very little that will stop me from taking her hand and doing a couple spins out there, just for the fun of it. I twirl these girls like tops hell if they don't respond every single time. Only those with the most extreme rhythm deficiency run into trouble. Men, by and large, do not adapt so easily.

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I personally don't really care what a guy looks like when he is dancing because I also don't care what I look like. As long as we are having fun anything goes. I would much rather him have a sense of humor than take himself too seriously and try to have the best moves.

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I see this on freestyle dance floors all the time. I'm a bit of a flirt and like to dance, so if I see a girl who is willing, there's very little that will stop me from taking her hand and doing a couple spins out there, just for the fun of it. I twirl these girls like tops hell if they don't respond every single time. Only those with the most extreme rhythm deficiency run into trouble. Men, by and large, do not adapt so easily.

 

Ahh but this is the key - you are a flirt and like to dance. To men who are not flirtatious by nature and worse yet who are very uncomfortable with dancing, it is easier said than done this pushing dance upon them.

 

You have a personality like I do and it makes it easier for us. Not everyone has that type of personality. My first husband would not dance one iota. He just wasn't comfortable with it at all. He would slow dance with me but that was it. He wasn't even shy. I didn't push it because there were things he enjoyed that i was not comfortable with so it became a matter of mutual respect to understand we are not the same person. Most other things he was very open to trying.

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The only part of this post I'd disagree with is that men have it easier than women... Perhaps at higher levels of 'structured' dance, this is true. I am referring to 'structured' dance only, by the way. Feels like you ladies have to learn FAR more steps than we do. You have to do so much more with your feet! We swing you around, but you do most of the work. Feels like that, anyway.

 

Well the thing is about dancing, sure we have more steps to do... but not learn. What I mean by this is the guy leads... so the guy needs to know what to do next and how to do it all we need to know is how to follow. More often than not I have not learned (officially) the dance steps I'm engaged in. I just follow where he makes me go. So men have all the moves to learn and master but the women the only thing she really needs to know is how to follow a man's lead. In that sense women have it 100% easier

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Well the thing is about dancing, sure we have more steps to do... but not learn. What I mean by this is the guy leads... so the guy needs to know what to do next and how to do it all we need to know is how to follow. More often than not I have not learned (officially) the dance steps I'm engaged in. I just follow where he makes me go. So men have all the moves to learn and master but the women the only thing she really needs to know is how to follow a man's lead. In that sense women have it 100% easier

 

I think you may just be well schooled. Hell, in the Rumba, men don't have a damn thing to do except give a smoldering stare. Again, things could be different at a higher level of dance.

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I personally don't really care what a guy looks like when he is dancing because I also don't care what I look like. As long as we are having fun anything goes. I would much rather him have a sense of humor than take himself too seriously and try to have the best moves.

 

As I have a girl friend, and she's often busy when I go out with friends, I cannot always dance with the opposite sex. I will sometimes, for a few minutes, but any longer and you give off the wrong impression. What I'll generally do is close my eyes and follow the rhythm of the music (be careful with vigorous moves when performing this style). I advise this for a lot of men. This is a technique I learned from a friend of mine (who happens to be a wizard with the ladies, for fellas who are wondering). We were on a massive dance floor and he was just standing there, ignoring the world and jamming away. Women were all over him. They loved it! They loved it, but he had protected himself. It was amazing to watch.

 

So, his maneuver entered my repertoire. You look good and you don't worry. Your value sky rockets. It's a wonderful thing. Consider this another die rolled in the favor of dance.

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There was an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation where Data learns how to dance for a wedding. He picks up tap dancing easily, but then he discovers that he needs to learn a partner dance. He struggles with it at first, and makes a comment: "As I see it, I need to maneuver my partner around the dance floor, taking care not to bump into anyone or anything, dancing to the music, spontaneously choreographing a changing and pleasing series of moves, all the while maintaining light conversation. My, this is difficult, isn't it?"

 

And yes... it is. I've seen new female dancers perform moves they've never known before, simply because the man led them there. Haven't seen it go the other way. Men definitely have the steeper learning curve, even women agree (as this thread proves).

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Women go to the club to bevalidated by men. The guys want them, it feels good. The girls ignore them,though, b/c they want a relationship, not a one night stand and youdon't meet good guys at clubs. My two cents.

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Women go to the club to bevalidated by men. The guys want them, it feels good. The girls ignore them,though, b/c they want a relationship, not a one night stand and youdon't meet good guys at clubs. My two cents.

 

im a good guy...but i dont expect to find my next girl friend at a dance

 

club either.

 

I got there to have fun for the night..meet some girls..go home go to

 

bed....maybe pull some numbers but i never expect anything out of it.

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I personally don't really care what a guy looks like when he is dancing because I also don't care what I look like. As long as we are having fun anything goes. I would much rather him have a sense of humor than take himself too seriously and try to have the best moves.

 

Yes! People heavily overthink this whole clubbing thing! the vast majority of women at the cast majority of clubs are there for one thing - to have fun. We like to dress up in outfits we could never wear to work or school, and won't be able to pull off in 5 or 10 years, meet new people, have some laughs, just enjoy being young! We don't necessarily want to be rubbed up against or showered with attention or taken to bed.

 

Guys - your job is pretty easy - have fun. That's it. You don't have to buy is drinks or grovel or struggle with awkward pick up lines. Dance if you enjoy it or gang out by the bar if you don't. Just enjoy being young and have fun. That's it. The women will come to you.

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He's so funny, Chris Rock. Went to see him in concert once. He sures does tell it like it is! Love him!

 

I dunno, but when I was in college, and got dressed up to go somewhere I sure wouldn't be offended if a guy asked me to dance. And I'm straight, so I do NOT like to dance with women!

 

I don't care, but if you are out in a nightclub.. and you don't want guys approaching you, then maybe you ought to bring your bf with you!

 

No.. it was never like this in the 90s... " Are male-female social/mating dynamics in 2009 just so askew? Were clubs like this in the 70s/80s/90s?"

 

The nightclubs were the prime spot to go meet someone of the Opposite sex, not to get dressed up all sexy and then be "offended" cuz someone other than your SO came up to you and flirted or acted interested.

 

This is just crazy imho.. Course, most of the clubs have been taken over by the college kids now and are not much fun anymore imho... It's all about showing off, and proving you are "hotter" than the next girl, not going out anymore and letting your hair down and having a good time. Evidentally it's about shooting single guys down too. Poor guys... Where the heck are you supposed to meet women now if nightclubs are now verboten???

 

No wonder guy are always online looking at porn sites! LOL.. if this is what women IRL treat them like.. I can see where they are coming from...

 

Maybe a regular bar is a better place to meet someone. I've found that too, that the "nightclubs" are just way too "cliquey" for my liking....At least in a regular bar people will talk to you without making you feel like they've done you some favor.

 

Good luck OP.. Sounds like you need to find a new stomping ground if this is what women act like in your regular going-out spot!

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Women go to the club to bevalidated by men. The guys want them, it feels good. The girls ignore them,though, b/c they want a relationship, not a one night stand and you don't meet good guys at clubs. My two cents.

 

Please- so very untrue. Take back your 2 cents. This suggests that the only reason women go to clubs just because we want an ego boost? Wrong. As said previously dancing, drinking, hanging out with friends, all come miles ahead of being admired.

 

And who says you can't meet good guys at clubs. That would suggest that every guy the frequents clubs is a bad guy? Uhh I beg to differ.

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No wonder guy are always online looking at porn sites! LOL.. if this is what women IRL treat them like.. I can see where they are coming from...

 

LOL you draw a line from getting turned down in a club to watching porn...

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Well... look at it from a guy's point of view girl68. They go to a club because they WANT to meet a real life woman..

 

It may NOT be to "just" pick up a girl and have a one night stand. They might really want a gf.. or like Chris Rock said.. a wife.. how are you to know??

 

Instead they see scads of girls, all dressed to the nines, some half-dressed, lol, but most of the girls won't even give the single guys a 2nd glance. Or if they do... they get all huffy, b/c the guy is paying attention to them and these girls deem it "rude"!..

 

why is that such a bad thing?? For a guy who's just experienced this scenario, to go home and look at porn? instead of meeting someone they could date, the guys go home disappointed, disgusted, lonely and probably hornier when they walked in there!

 

well, you go play in a pool, expect to get wet girls! Same thing with a nightclub.. you go to a club, dressed in some scanty outfit, the guys are ogling you because they are guys and desire women! Don't get all up in arms cuz the guys looked at you ladies. If you didn't want to be looked at by guys other than your SO, you would have come to the nightclub dressed in sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt! lol If all you are wanting to do is hang out with your friends, and get drunk and dance, then don't get dressed all seductively and then expect the guys to ignore you. you're playing mind games on men, if that is the case.

Tell me I'm wrong men!! You people act like it's no big deal for guys to look at porn on this site, but if men are unsucessful time after time of going out in public, then YEAH, it's a good chance, they will go home, if they have internet and go check out a porn site.

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Please- so very untrue. Take back your 2 cents. This suggests that the only reason women go to clubs just because we want an ego boost? Wrong. As said previously dancing, drinking, hanging out with friends, all come miles ahead of being admired.

 

And who says you can't meet good guys at clubs. That would suggest that every guy the frequents clubs is a bad guy? Uhh I beg to differ.

Some girls might want an ego boost just as there are likely many not so nice guys,that go to clubs.However it is just a broad generalization to paint everyone with the same brush.In my opinion usually the nice guy is probably harder to meet at a club.He might be the shy ,quiet guy in the corner.I know that is a generalization in itself,to assume that many extroverted guys are not nice,I am sure some are.Usually though,women will have no problem meeting an extroverted man ,the shy guy is a harder nut to crack.
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I don't know about the porn thing, but the rest you hit the nail on the head. If women are so keen on dancing with their girlfriends "because it feels good" they'd be doing it in their living room. If dressing up is so much fun they'd do it Saturday and Sunday afternoons when nothing is going on.

 

The real truth behind this is because they get attention from loads of men and that's what actually feels good. End of story.

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I don't know about the porn thing, but the rest you hit the nail on the head. If women are so keen on dancing with their girlfriends "because it feels good" they'd be doing it in their living room. If dressing up is so much fun they'd do it Saturday afternoon when nothing is going on.

 

The real truth behind this is because they get attention from loads of men and that's what actually feels good. End of story.

 

I agree as well. Getting free drinks from men and ooh's and aah's over one looking hot is validation and liking the attention. It would be nice if females at least admit that. When i was single I can admit I liked validation and attention.

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LOL... well... ty for the thumbs up icon Mace! hehe.. I'm not saying ALL guys are rushing home to see porn, but that must be frustrating as hell for guys.. They go out.. trying to get lookin' good, try to at least TALK or possibly dance with a pretty girl, and just get shot down at 1st glance!

 

So.. yeah.. I can see why some guy would come home, go online and check out a porn site.. They sure aren't getting any via a real life girl if this the scenario..

 

I'm not sure either why girls are so mean-spirited to guys in public either in a bar scene.. Yeah.. there are some creepy guys who would hang out in a bar, but also everywhere in real life.. There's creepy girls too.

 

I just don't get people anymore.. It seems the meaner you are, nowadays in public, the more you think you are something "hot"! This is getting a little off-topic, but I think that's why Paris Hilton started to get a bad reputation in public.. she was often rude to people.. That never washes in the end.. People remember rudeness for a long time.

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Some of the girls who I see getting annoyed by men approaching them make me laugh. some of them really should be counting their blessings that they got approached at all. Nothing funnier then an obese girl saying "eww that guy was so creepy".

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I'm not sure either why girls are so mean-spirited to guys in public either in a bar scene.. Yeah.. there are some creepy guys who would hang out in a bar, but also everywhere in real life...

 

That's easy because there's a lot more than "some" creepy guys in clubs, they're the majority.

 

Being approached is fine, flattering and I will engage in conversation. That is not the problem here (well granted some girls are even snobs in this situation as well) but the minute I'm grabbed, or grouped he's going to be sorry. I DO have the right to do whatever I see fit. So for any guy saying I have no right to stand up for myself once I'm physically disrespected is just dead wrong. (Some dude said girls don't have the right to be rude when a guys rude... I disagree).

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Some of the girls who I see getting annoyed by men approaching them make me laugh. some of them really should be counting their blessings that they got approached at all. Nothing funnier then an obese girl saying "eww that guy was so creepy".

 

LOL, this was actually funny and true!

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  • 3 months later...

Went clubbing at REV in Waterloo last night and observed the exact same dynamic. We joked that we must have wandered into a gay club bc all we saw were dudes with other dudes and girls in packs with other girls.

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