Shudder Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 i actually kinda agree with what this rooshv guy said. i once said something inapropriate to a girl once a while back and she came back and gave me a verbal beating. now i know to think before i say something. works in some ways. Link to comment
girl68 Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Must haves? She must not smell bad and she must not have any STD's or any other diseases that I can catch. She also can't be 400 lbs. Other than that, I can be flexable on issues. Dancing just doesn't seem to be something that would be a deal breaker. ](*,) I've already explained WHY my bf not dancing would be an issue. My life revolves around dancing it has since I was 3. My bf would need to be involved in dancing in order for a relationship to work. I don't know why I bother to persue this issue you obviously refuse to accept that dancing is a must have for me. Link to comment
jonny15 Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 ](*,) I've already explained WHY my bf not dancing would be an issue. My life revolves around dancing it has since I was 3. My bf would need to be involved in dancing in order for a relationship to work. I don't know why I bother to persue this issue you obviously refuse to accept that dancing is a must have for me. Do you dance for a living? And I don't mean stripping. lol Cause otherwise, how does it revolve around it? To me, it seems like more and more are into the whole dance thing. Mainly it's a hip hop type thing. Atleast where i'm from it is. And it makes me kinda sick at the stomach. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 If you are going to go to clubs and try to pull women then you need to develop a system or a way to operate with your friends. in the very least you need 2 guys, a pointman and a wingman. You guys have to work together and you two should compliment eachother. Girls in groups can be extremely difficult to approach because they are in a large group for a reason, because strength is in numbers. If you are going to approach a group then your mentality has to be to divide and conquer meaning that your goal is to split girls off from the group so that they are isolated from the group. I find that the easiest thing to talk about with girls is to just make jokes or point out something that you think is funny about what is going on. Keep the conversation to a minimum, but get as much as you can out of the conversation, for example dont ask her to dance tell her that you want to talk to your friends but that you will meet up with her later. Clubs are all about games and knowing how to play them, your goal is not immediate gratification (i.e. getting her to dance or buying her a drink) your goal is to walk away with her phone number. Link to comment
girl68 Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Do you dance for a living? And I don't mean stripping. lol Cause otherwise, how does it revolve around it? To me, it seems like more and more are into the whole dance thing. Mainly it's a hip hop type thing. Atleast where i'm from it is. And it makes me kinda sick at the stomach. No I don't dance for a living. But as I've already explained I dance all the time. I take lessons, I go for fun, I have taught (here and there), and I simply love to do it and therefore do it often (as in multiple times a week) my partner needs to be a part of that simply because it occupies so much of my time and energy. People enjoying the hip hop culture makes you "sick to your stomache?" Perhaps you should invest more time in overlooking things that you despise so much and focus on things you DO enjoy. Link to comment
jcrisph Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 i went line dancing once just because i was interested in a girl even though i dont like country music too much..i kinda had fun though Link to comment
Nutz Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Why sink low like that? I think the best revenge would be to ignore them and act like the rejection didn't bother you. So in other words guys should be a doormat. That does nothing but perpetuate the status quo of no negative repercussions for their bad behavior. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 So in other words guys should be a doormat. That does nothing but perpetuate the status quo of no negative repercussions for their bad behavior. No, PEOPLE should go above the actions of those choosing to be rotten. Let them go be rotten, they'll live unfullfilled lives. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 While I don't believe in getting an eye for an eye kind of thing i don't find it harmful to do SOME of the things suggested such as if a g/f sandwiches in between her friend and the guy talking to her, well that Is plain rude regardless of it being a club, a grocery store, church...anywhere, so if that were me talking to a person I would also say “You see we’re talking here, right?” I would do it just because it is in fact rude to squeeze in between two people and start yapping so I wouldn't be petty, just straightforward and say that to her and call it a day. But as for being blown off by a woman you asked to dance, there is not a lot you can do in retailiation unless you want to get petty and call her a name or something and that is just childish. Link to comment
bostonbruins24 Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Do you have things in a partner that are just a "must have"? I'm sure you do. Dancing is mine. I don't understand why you cannot just let me have my thing. You don't have to agree but how can you not open your eyes to see that some things for people are non-negotiable.It just seems like an odd attribute to require in a potential partner.What does dancing have to do with what kind of person he is? Would you still be going out with your current boyfriend if he decided he doesn't want to dance anymore? Link to comment
girl68 Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 It just seems like an odd attribute to require in a potential partner.What does dancing have to do with what kind of person he is? Would you still be going out with your current boyfriend if he decided he doesn't want to dance anymore? No as it would cause too much conflict in me leaving him for days, nights and potentially weeks at a time. I need to be with my bf on and off the dancefloor. It has nothing to do with the type of person he is. It has everything to do with how we'll get along; how much time we get to spend with eachother. Not to mention I love having my lover be interested and partake in the things I love outside the relationship. It shows openness to new things and that is a requirement for me. It's only an "odd attribute" to you my friend. Link to comment
servedcold Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 i went line dancing once just because i was interested in a girl even though i dont like country music too much..i kinda had fun though Country clubs are actually an exception to how most clubs are. Country clubs are some of the easiest places to meet women I know of, something about the attitude there and the competition is usually not that keen. Hate the music (at least top 40 country) so never go (but used to in the past), but for a guy who just wants to meet women, country bars are a cakewalk compared to velvet rope discotheques. Link to comment
servedcold Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 I'm actually somewhat good at this, and disagree with the long quote from the PUA forum on calling her out on it. A guy has no choice in this situation but to win the rude friend over herself. He will never turn a woman against her friend in a club with a snide comment and have her leave with him or even respond favorably. I think all the cutdown talk with what they call CBers is blowing smoke, pure untried theory that sounds clever but won't work. Women out are looking for any reason at all to nix men, and losing your cool or an anger issue, even if it's justified, is not what you want to display at all as a man meeting a strange woman. This is also an ideal time for a takeaway, just up and leaving saying "excuse me I have to meet someone/make a call, will you be around later?" If she responds positively, the guy has a chance later, if nonchalantly or negatively, it may be time to pursue other options. Wait til the nuisance is gone or distracted (by a wingman preferably) to make another try. Link to comment
hazylynx Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 i couldn't agree more.. obviously it's about finding what works for you... a good example i saw a girl reading a certain book at the bus stop ' A Darkness a sethanon' by raymond e feist... tbh if i see anyone reading that book.. they are instantly worth talking to! but yeah i have her number and we are gonna meet up for a coffee.. and talk about the book i guess.. when she has finished it ofc Link to comment
bostonbruins24 Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 No as it would cause too much conflict in me leaving him for days, nights and potentially weeks at a time. I need to be with my bf on and off the dancefloor. It has nothing to do with the type of person he is. It has everything to do with how we'll get along; how much time we get to spend with eachother. Not to mention I love having my lover be interested and partake in the things I love outside the relationship. It shows openness to new things and that is a requirement for me. It's only an "odd attribute" to you my friend.Well,others here have expressed there puzzlement at your dancing requirement,so maybe it isn't so odd after all.Dancing actually has nothing to do with how you two will get along,can't dance all the time ,right?I can see you two wanting to enjoy similar activities but it[dancing] would not be a dealbreaker for 99% of the population. Link to comment
Nutz Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 I don't think anyone said it's trying to turn one of the girls against the CBer. In fact the RooshV quote specifically mentions you'll lose the girl because she'll have to run off to comfort the friend you just stood up to and knocked down a peg. You really have 3, maybe 4 options. Which one you select depends on the circumstances you face: 1) Stand there when the CB interrupts and chode out and lose any value/attraction you had going for you. Most guys do this because they don't know any better. Eventually the girls will turn their back and the guy is locked out. He then whimpers off with his tail between his legs. 2) Blow up the CB like we'd been discussing for her misbehavior. If a guy gets pissed off you'll see this from time to time. If the woman is a super beyotch then you'll see this from time to time. It's really dependent on how the woman treats the man. If a woman gets and earful from a guy at a bar or club, experience tells me the odds are she honestly deserved it by how she acted. 3) Excuse yourself and possibly reopen later. Newbies to pickup take this route. 4) Dominate, regain their attention, and maybe win over the CB/obstacle. This is where I'm at. I can't always win them over, but I certainly do give it a try. However, if the CB/obstacle is rude, uncouth, and generally anti-social and misbehaves, I'm certainly tempted to do the following: Said with a stern tone, like a parent scolding a child... “Did you really just do that? I’m being friendly and respectful to your friend and you rudely interrupt. Did your parents teach you to be anti-social like that? How would you feel if you were connecting with an awesome guy and your friend walked up and ran him off like that? You wouldn't be too happy now would you?” And it's not all theory. I've done something akin to this before and the girl was totally stunned that I stood up to her. And she was really bad because I'm usually super nice and relaxed. She just really pissed me off that much. Anyway, I won over the group immediately because I didn't tolerate their crap and suddenly I was the most alpha attractive guy in sight. Link to comment
LBP Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 I would subscribe to the Pickup Gospel of servedcold. Write it up, we'll read it! Link to comment
LBP Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 4) Dominate, regain their attention, and maybe win over the CB/obstacle. This is where I'm at. I can't always win them over, but I certainly do give it a try. However, if the CB/obstacle is rude, uncouth, and generally anti-social and misbehaves, I'm certainly tempted to do the following: Said with a stern tone, like a parent scolding a child... “Did you really just do that? I’m being friendly and respectful to your friend and you rudely interrupt. Did your parents teach you to be anti-social like that? How would you feel if you were connecting with an awesome guy and your friend walked up and ran him off like that? You wouldn't be too happy now would you?” As with all men, I've encountered a CB or two in my day. My problem with the approach you suggest is that most of the time, if a woman's friend feels justified in butting in like that, then I cannot be bothered. There will be other women at the establishment. It's like when I'm interested in a girl and she cannot find the time to return my calls or texts. Drop her. Move on. Why bother with the gamesmanship? It's not like we're playing basketball, or something. Link to comment
servedcold Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 3) Excuse yourself and possibly reopen later. Newbies to pickup take this route. Well, I would definitely be a PUA noob, as have read nothing but The Game and some of your linked threads (which I enjoy for the truth in some of the posts, the humor in others, and the stink of raw desperation in others), and have developed a style that works for me (at least until they turn into Lizzie Borden at 3-6 months) and am past the point in life where notching bedposts has much appeal. However, the takeaway has a chance of doing one very powerful non-noob thing, innately turning the target against the CB if you had scored a couple of charm points prior with the target. "You just chased that guy off, can you not go find a guy yourself?" is the desired outcome, and is much more likely than making progress with the other options IMO. Without ever knowing PUA techniques, have always used the "takeaway" to great advantage. "Cat-string theory" is the PUA term of art I believe? BTW why is that considered newbish? LBP, based on your posts, I'd say the LAST thing you need is a pickup gospel, you are the epitome of a natural, but thanks for the vote of confidence. Link to comment
Bartok Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 What does dancing have to do with what kind of person he is? It has EVERYTHING to do with the kind of person they are. I've seen first hand the difference between those willing to dance and those who aren't willing to dance - and it's quite startling. Link to comment
girl68 Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Well,others here have expressed there puzzlement at your dancing requirement,so maybe it isn't so odd after all.Dancing actually has nothing to do with how you two will get along,can't dance all the time ,right?I can see you two wanting to enjoy similar activities but it[dancing] would not be a dealbreaker for 99% of the population. Is it possible that you also refuse to accept my requirement? It is mine, only mine and those who wish to be with me have all fit my profile. Why must you continue to tell me my wanting a dancer is absolutely impossible for 99% of the population? It has everything to do with how we would get along. We'd fight when I want to go dancing 3 times a week and he doesn't. He'll complain I like dancing more than him. He'll whine at every suggestion I make that he dance with me. He will b!tch about me dancing with other guys. And the list goes on. It leads to fight after fight after fight in the end I've had enough. Link to comment
girl68 Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 It has EVERYTHING to do with the kind of person they are. I've seen first hand the difference between those willing to dance and those who aren't willing to dance - and it's quite startling. A willingness to try new things including dancing is an attractive trait. And it has absolutely nothing to do with ability. My ex sucked at dancing... but he would. My current bf, not bad but he certainly can't keep up on the dance floor but he'll try. It is these 2 types of guys that mean more to me than any man who refuses to dance period. Link to comment
jonny15 Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 It has EVERYTHING to do with the kind of person they are. I've seen first hand the difference between those willing to dance and those who aren't willing to dance - and it's quite startling. What kind of person? Are people who aren't willing to dance somehow different? Link to comment
Bartok Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 What kind of person? Are people who aren't willing to dance somehow different? Yes. Please see girl68's post. Link to comment
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