New girl in the office

[taxi10]

In my office there is a new girl that has just started working there -she is so cute!

The first time she came in my department our eyes locked and we clicked right away as if we had known each other for ages. Since that day, she tells me that Iam her " special friend". I know she is attracted to me but she doesn't want admiit it. Here are the scenarios

 

Day 1, we had a meeting and she came behind me and held my waist whispering into my left ear saying something that I didn't understand.

 

Day 2, She came behind me while I was writing something and I could feel her breasts on my back and her hair covered my eyes.

 

Day3, She asks me quesions about myself and she always talks about sex staff

 

Day, 4, We were invited by another company and all of a sudden - she opened up saying that she used to have a good friend like me..blblbllalalall - I told her that we can't be friends because I'll always want more than just friendship. On the way to our office, she told me that I couldn't kiss her - and I said why not - I did kiss her on the cheek while holding her waist. She kept saying that Iam her special friend and she only came there Only to see me.

I know that she's into me but don't know what to do?

[COtuner]

She is very forward - I'd say maybe bad news.

[taxi10]

She is very forward - I'd say maybe bad news.

 

Didn't understand - do you mean she's player and why it is a bad news?

[COtuner]

It's not really normal for women to behave like this around the workplace - I can't help but think she's using you for entertainment or something.

[Jeight]

Could be entertainment. You should lean in to her, look her in the eyes and see if she kisses you. Always works.

[Jeight]

lol I agree. She seems stupid and a bit easy. Not a good combo.

[psychoanalytical]

man, I would think about this objectively:

 

If you were a girl, and you meet a stranger, why would you start touching his waist and starting rubbing ur breast against his back? WTH? The excuse she gave I should think is obviously not legit - because u looked like her "friend"?

 

If I'm not mistaken, I suspect she is either (1) using u - eg. maybe if u had some sort of status in the company - in which case I would question her self esteem because this is no way to get urself ahead in a new job, what happened to honest hard work? (2) flirtaceous as hell - eg. she just wanted to pull ur leg to entertain herself, but when she realised u started coming onto her she tried to back out with the lame-a$$ excuse - in which case I would seriously question her work ethic and self-image - Why would u be doing this at your new job instead of trying to get a handle on your work? or (3) On some psychotropic pills. I would question her sanity if the above didn't apply. There would have to be some serious undercurrent in her mental state for her to be trying this.

 

The option, (4) she crazy about u, I should think is remote - I mean for heaven's sake she just met u. Unless this is puppy love (and I hope she's not 14), not many women in their right minds would fall head over heel for a man w/o knowing things like, "How much do u earn?" "Who are ur friends?" "What do the other workmates think about u?" "Do other ladies find u attractive?" "What do u want to do with ur life?" "Do we have a future?" etc etc.

 

So yeah, I say flag before u get too involved - at least observe her with other men before u do anything regretful.

[taxi10]

She is not using me at all becouse we work in different department. There is no status involved here - we are both us in the same level however we have have the same supervisor.

I have also observed her presence around other workers( men) - she is more reserved and talks to them about work only. Iam the only one whom she has became so close - when we are together she puts her arms around me by leaning on my shoulder.

 

It is as if we are waiting each other.

[Nixee]

If you like her and want to pursue things further, honestly I'd consider asking her to spend some time getting to know you better outside of the workplace.

 

How new to the office is she exactly? If all of this is just happening over a week or so, it could easily be passing attraction and truly... is it something worth it? Office flirting/romance is dangerous territory.

 

The sex talk, touching, kissing, brushing breasts on you.... cute or not... seems like a recipe to get you in trouble at work to me. Why not ask her to do something outside of work and see where that goes. I'm sure she'd get the hint from that too. If she turns you down, I'd guess maybe she's just playing games with you, which stinks.

[COtuner]

I wouldn't wonder if she might have a history of sexual harassment claims at previous jobs. Maybe I'm letting my imagination run wild, but I've seen that sort of thing happen. Get a guy to be all over her, then file a charge, take the money and go.

 

Not saying she is doing that, but it really is very strange behavior.

[Nixee]

I wouldn't wonder if she might have a history of sexual harassment claims at previous jobs. Maybe I'm letting my imagination run wild, but I've seen that sort of thing happen. Get a guy to be all over her, then file a charge, take the money and go.

 

Not saying she is doing that, but it really is very strange behavior.

 

This is the same line of thinking that I was having, with the just starting, then flirting with you so fast, calling you her "special friend"... If you think something might be real and legit between you two, take it outside of the workplace, and build it up slowly. But be careful.

[servedcold]

Yep, get her away from work, not necessarily a date, maybe drinks after work, and make a strong, physical move. Then you will know whether you are dealing with sincere attraction or some ulterior motive.

[COtuner]

Still could run the risk of sexual harassment, though (just a word of caution). Coworkers are coworkers wherever you are. Sad truth of our legal system.

[Nixee]

Still could run the risk of sexual harassment, though (just a word of caution). Coworkers are coworkers wherever you are. Sad truth of our legal system.

 

Good point, but being out of the workplace gives the opportunity to get to know each other better still without other watchful eyes or thoughts of appropriate workplace discussion and behavior. Consenting to hang out outside of work, or even go on a date doesn't add up to harassment if both parties want to do it.

 

Still, slowly and carefully advised

[servedcold]

It's not sexual harassment unless he persists with advances after being rebuffed, and regardless of caselaw, good luck getting a jury to fork over in a case where two workers go out with each other after work alone, off-premises and there isn't a power imbalance. Agree, though, that caution is in order. However, if she's angling for a jackpot, why is she rubbing her breasts on a rank and file employee out of her department and not an easier target to entrap?

[COtuner]

The behavior at work kind of set the stage, that's why I said she could be setting him up. Normally I wouldn't worry much, as I go out as friends and in the past on dates with coworkers all the time. But she sounds a bit nuts,

[Nixee]

Pretty much comes down to three possibilities I think:

 

1 - She really does like him (and she's very forward/flirty, not afraid to show it)

 

2 - She's just got the type of personality that craves attention, needs someone on the hook, and set her sights on him.

 

3 - She's tempting him to become inappropriate so she can blow the whistle

[Crush85]

This chick sounds like trouble to me.

[COtuner]

Pretty much comes down to three possibilities I think:

 

1 - She really does like him (and she's very forward/flirty, not afraid to show it)

 

2 - She's just got the type of personality that craves attention, needs someone on the hook, and set her sights on him.

 

3 - She's tempting him to become inappropriate so she can blow the whistle

 

I would think in regards to #1 that she "gets around"... I don't know... I just can't get past the sleazy image that comes to mind.

[taxi10]

Pretty much comes down to three possibilities I think:

 

1 - She really does like him (and she's very forward/flirty, not afraid to show it)

 

2 - She's just got the type of personality that craves attention, needs someone on the hook, and set her sights on him.

 

3 - She's tempting him to become inappropriate so she can blow the whistle

 

I really appreciate your wonderful ideas here - This girl applies to number 1, and 2. I'll see how it goes for now.

[psychoanalytical]

LMAO the OP sounds like he's still really keen to give it a go.

 

I'd say go for it --> tell us if ur fired or if u get burnt. Let's see if one single-minded power of concentrated will can overturn the overwhelmingly skeptical opinions in this post.

 

In any case it makes good entertainment.

[COtuner]

Maybe he's really horny, LOL

[Nixee]

Only he can make the judgement call taxi, its extirely up to you, and you came here for feedback and you definitely got food for thought.

 

If you are keen to proceed, I'd just say good luck and be careful. But then, that advice applies for most relationship stuff. In this case, the in-office touching and flirting should just maybe be taken to after hours at the least I'd think if it is a mutual thing.

[taxi10]

Only he can make the judgement call taxi, its extirely up to you, and you came here for feedback and you definitely got food for thought.

 

If you are keen to proceed, I'd just say good luck and be careful. But then, that advice applies for most relationship stuff. In this case, the in-office touching and flirting should just maybe be taken to after hours at the least I'd think if it is a mutual thing.

 

I have already put things into a low profile and I won't longer be tempted to any kind of flirts in the office.

[jammin_james61]

I do think servedcold is right. I don't think taxi can get fired if it is clearly welcomed. If he keeps it out of work, it won't bother any other co-workers.

 

You're good to go, in my opinion.