keep seeing her...

[giggidy]

the first time i left the house on an outting to the mall, i was nervous the whole time. i kept shaking in my shoes at breakfast... people kept telling me, one in a million chance you'll see her...

 

anyway i get to the mall, and i decide to take a quick look around the parking lot, and there's her car... right smack in the middle...

that was the WORST day so far, because i had to look everywhere for my family in order to get the keys so i could escape in the family car for a while...

 

second time i went out (today), i had a wonderful time reading and enjoying the sun downtown. i decided to go to a bookstore, and when i came out, something made me walk towards the shop adjecent.

 

when i looked accross the parking lot to the street, i saw her in her car waiting at a traffic light.

 

every time all i see is her car, or a portion of her. she never notices me.

 

i'm afraid to go out again

[pushforward]

It's all in your head.

 

You really going to let her stop you from living your life?

 

It may hurt to see it, but time really does heal. I used to see my ex's car everywhere, now I see it, doesn't really bother me, although it does remind me of her, it's not as painful. You have to tell yourself that this is irrational and that your mind is looking for clues to draw yourself back to her, it's a natural process and it will take time for you to not be so emotional.

[IMAbadman]

Put on that poker face and man up bud.

[ezious]

Shaking? Your account gender says Male. Start being a man again. Be hard on yourself. You're only making yourself weak with all your thoughts.

 

Fake it until you make it. Start pretending you're strong until you actually become strong.

[Seymore]

Been there. For about 2 months after my breakup, I scouted every single car that passed by, hoping it wasn't her. Well, it was hard to avoid her, since some of her babysitting work is done in the building behind my work, and she gets there and leaves around the same time I get to work and leave. So our paths cross from time to time. I praise God for spring break, because I know she doesn't have to drive this kid all week, so I haven't really felt the need to "watch my back", so to speak.

 

I've eventually learned to fight not scouting traffic and say to myself "If I don't see her car, it's not there." I'm not going to take a different route just because of her. We're done. That's it. She's just another person in traffic, far as I'm concerned.

 

But that's just it - it's natural. Try to ignore the "Be tough - be a MAN" thing. Yes, you're a man, but you were born on earth like all humans...therefore, you're hurt, and that's understandable. But eventually you'll get past it.