robert7x Posted March 26, 2009 Author Share Posted March 26, 2009 Actually I never told her what to do or where to go... she is mature women, not a kid that needs to be treated and watched over all the time like he is doing. You also have to understand, I would not get into a fight with him... I know that would ruin everything, but i would not just stand there all quiet and listen. The guy needs to be tought a lesson, but i won't be the one that does that. Even she said once: I wish someone would just beat him up so he can lower his ego a little. She could have been joking but I again, i don't want to be that guy. All i really want to know is, why hide what we have going on... if it's because of him, Then just tell me the truth. Don't say i don't care what he says and have nothing to hide blah blah, but then actions show different things. I'm not a "hot-head" like some of you think. I always try to stay away from trouble, but if someone provokes me or insults me... am i just supposed to stand there and take it? I can't do that. Thanks for all the comments, I really apreciate it. R Link to comment
girl68 Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 In that case all you need to do is talk. Ask questions and listen to her asnwers, that's not so hard is it? Link to comment
robert7x Posted March 26, 2009 Author Share Posted March 26, 2009 I actually just did... she just said like She thought i don't want to go and how she doesn't want to see me get into trouble there (which I Wouldn't). And then started atacking me for even asking this... Strange. Then when i told her i will probably go out too and meet some friends etc... She's like : How come you didn't ask me to go with you there? I wasn't planing on going anywhere but why should I sit at home... honestly? I hate damn games... I just hate them. Link to comment
girl68 Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 I actually just did... she just said like She thought i don't want to go and how she doesn't want to see me get into trouble there (which I Wouldn't). And then started atacking me for even asking this... Strange. Then when i told her i will probably go out too and meet some friends etc... She's like : How come you didn't ask me to go with you there? I wasn't planing on going anywhere but why should I sit at home... honestly? I hate damn games... I just hate them. Ok I've kinda been in a similar situation. I have assumed such things (in bold). Now go talk to her again and say that it bugs you when she assumes you won't like something. Tell her you would appriaciate being ASKED to do something instead of her assuming you won't like it or won't have fun. I've done this and my bf told me that. That is now the arrangement we have, I don't assume I ask he answer. Then in response to her saying you would get in trouble... you have admitted you don't just stand there... so what are you going to do if he provokes something? Just "stand there", walk away, or do something about it? This is what worries her. You've also said you may "un voluntarily" get into a fight (not with the brother)? So you can't really say nothing would happen unless you know for a fact you will behave yourself under any (less than extreme) situation. Swallow your pride if a situation happens and prove yourself worthy of being at her side in questionable situations. You shouldn't have to sit at home if you both still decide you are not invited. And tell her that you didn't ask because she's already got plans. But you may ask her to join you after she's done at the club how about that? Link to comment
robert7x Posted March 27, 2009 Author Share Posted March 27, 2009 That sounds good. I'll give that a shot and see where it gets me Thank you very much for the great advice. Link to comment
mca1975 Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 To the OP, I would just say to her that you are prepared to come along if she wants you to come but I suspect things are just difficult between her and her bro and she probably feels like she couldn't relax if you were there with her, as she would be worrying all night, so dont feel offended if she doesnt invite you. However, on the other hand, I would be quite concerned as to why she can't admit to her bro about dating you, why is that, if you say that you and he have always got on? Obviously her bro has some kind of control over her. Link to comment
girl68 Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 That sounds good. I'll give that a shot and see where it gets me Thank you very much for the great advice. I am certainly curious as to how this pans out for you OP!? Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 I am certainly curious as to how this pans out for you OP!? Me too........ Link to comment
robert7x Posted March 27, 2009 Author Share Posted March 27, 2009 Well the plan as of right now is that She'll go to the party and be there for an hour or so, then meet me at this other bar where i'll be with a friend of mine. And that was her suggestion after i told her that it's fine if she goes there, i'll just go out with friends as well then. After thinking things thru and stuff, i just came to the conclusion that i don't care that much after all. I was going to go out then too... hang out with friends and just have a good time. However, it seems that she's more worried that i'll do something... Which is I THINK, the reason she wants to come along... This could be an issue later down the road... But we'll see. I'm not going to pressure her about this whole brother thing... i'm not going to hide either... if it ever comes up i'll deal with it then... Until then, i'm just going to enjoy my time with her. Link to comment
robert7x Posted March 27, 2009 Author Share Posted March 27, 2009 Obviously her bro has some kind of control over her. I know he does... I've said that all along... However when i asked her she said no and bunch of other BS... Actions show it better then words.. I think. Link to comment
girl68 Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 Well I do still hope you both agreed about the whole "assuming" thing though. That's important. I never knew it bothered him that I'd "assume" he wouldn't want to go or he wouldn't have a good time. So do still have this talk if you didn't already. Link to comment
robert7x Posted March 27, 2009 Author Share Posted March 27, 2009 I definetelly will. Thank you. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 This sounds like a really STRANGE excuse. If you knew the guy prior to dating her and you guys were cool, this is very off she won't let him know she is seeing you. If she isn't under 18, then what the heck is the guy going to do? Are you sure she isn't relying on this as an excuse to go out to places like clubs sometimes without you? If this were me i'd call her out on it. I'd say if i can't be introduced to her brother after 2-3 months that you don't feel very respected or appreciated and this could be a dealbreaker. Seriously, it might be a dealbreaker for me. It would make me pretty aggravated. Link to comment
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