Why is being verbal so hard for me if I'm a woman

[yeawutever]

I still have kinda a hard time expressing myself or keeping up a conversation for a very long time, even by phone. Sometimes it's shyness but not all the time. I see most of the other women have it easy, they keep on talking. It's like they have it naturally born. So why not me???

 

Isn't it say that if you're a woman then you have it easy when it comes to being verbal so what's wrong with me then??

 

I can be writing a lot in these forums and overly expressing what it wouldn't come out in real life yet when it comes to being verbal, it's like I either below the average or I just didn't have it implanted on my DNA. Why wasn't I born with that gift?

[forever1130]

I'm the same way! I just flat out suck at talking on the phone. I can get out the important info then the conversation just seems to die unless the person can keep it going. Hence the reason I am a fan of texting. No awkward silences! But the weird thing is I'm fine in person, and can always hold a conversation. I think I rely too much on body language and facial expressions, stuff like that.

[yeawutever]

I guess there must be a way I can improve on it and someday it will come out naturally. Just when I thought it finally came out, not really, it depends on what the person it's talking about too. I know of people that can have a conversation on about anything with anyone, those sure got the skills.

[90_hour_sleep]

i think it's more nurture than nature. it's how we're brought up. maybe you were lacking in a positive role model in this department while you were growing up?

 

i'm a guy...so i feel like i'm an expert on NOT being open. it's really hard to deal with...and causes all kinds of problems in life. it's partly my gender (and the social stigma attatched to that gender)...and partly my upbringing.

 

i've learned that being open is a skill. i only started getting better at it once i realized this. it's something i've had to practice...and i've become better at it. really just one of those things that you have to hammer into yourself.

[yeawutever]

i've learned that being open is a skill. i only started getting better at it once i realized this. it's something i've had to practice...and i've become better at it. really just one of those things that you have to hammer into yourself.

 

I guess I can start practicing it more often. Think I been told one time by my former psychology teacher that it's always there even if it was the most shy/quite girl (been told that we have the verbal part develop in one part of our brain at one hemisphere of it). I did used to overly get teased quite often (every single day, they wouldn't leave me alone) back in my early school years as a kid, which I called it emotionally/verbally bullying. Now I don't know if that yet adds it up as to why I may at times be slowly when it comes to being social given the fact that I was already shy back then.

[penelope13]

Do you live in an area where they are offering communication classes, maybe that will help you

[yeawutever]

Do you live in an area where they are offering communication classes, maybe that will help you

 

I guess I'll try that sometime when I get a chance, hopefully it's not so expensive.

[90_hour_sleep]

I guess I can start practicing it more often. Think I been told one time by my former psychology teacher that it's always there even if it was the most shy/quite girl (been told that we have the verbal part develop in one part of our brain at one hemisphere of it). I did used to overly get teased quite often (every single day, they wouldn't leave me alone) back in my early school years as a kid, which I called it emotionally/verbally bullying. Now I don't know if that yet adds it up as to why I may at times be slowly when it comes to being social given the fact that I was already shy back then.

 

i don't think we can always know the reasons we're the way we are. i've spent years searching for reasons. many times i'm simply at a loss. there are so many circumstances in life that affect us in ways we can't truly appreciate at the time. you may never find the reasons why. i know it's possible to find answers to your problems without always knowing why though. for myself, being shy was more of by-product of my environment.

it was a way of coping with the stresses around me. i tend to think of it as less of a trait these days. it's something i've learned over time. it's a daunting task to unlearn something that's been with you as long as you can remember.

 

inch by inch...