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Getting back together really does happen!


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Great thread! Could you update your story Wishing on a Star?

 

I have two examples of exes reuniting:

 

1. One female friend and her ex-boyfriend got back together after a year apart. It may have been the distance that kept them from being together. They lived in different states -so maybe a two hour drive. They're married with kids now.

 

2. Another female friend and her ex-boyfriend got back together after 8 months. However, she didn't do any of the things that are suggested. She remained friends with him throughout the 8 months, leaving him alone if he wanted, and being around him if he didn't complain. They weren't sex-buddies or anything, but he would talk to her about the girls he dated, and she would just give the best advice she could. Anyway, eventually they just got back together and have been together for 8 years.

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Oh yeah, I forgot, another story -mine. LOL.

 

3. This happened a long long while ago, I was in my early twenties, and had been dating this guy for about three years. I went abroad for a semester and two months in, he broke up with me. I wasn't particularly devastated because I was having the time of my life, and at that point in our relationship -things weren't that exciting anymore anyway. I suspect he had met some girls while I was away and wanted to taste the green green grass, and at the end, it was easier for him to break up with me over the phone. Anywho, when I came back from abroad, about 5 months later, he picked me up from the airport, and immediately wanted to start off from where we left off! I was taken by surprise because I had assumed things were pretty much over with us, and I had moved on relatively easily since I had had such an awesome time abroad. Well, I refused to go back to him, and boy, he blew up. I'd never seen him that upset ever before in all the time we were together, he even screamed at me, and said that he had wept all night etc. But, you know, I just kinda shrugged my shoulders -I had already moved on by the time he decided to tell me this. Apparently in his mind -we were supposed to get back together once I came back -well woops, you never told me that. LOL. And I was the one calling HIM when I was abroad, he never called me once. I think if he had never broken up with me, I would still be with him today. So, anyway, exes DO crawl back.

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5...years?! I cave at 5...days! lol But I hope it works too. Another great story.

 

my bf and I were split from Sept 2003 until Aug 2007...we both had other relationships during that time that ended. We had very little to almost no contact during that time, and we were able to reconnect and are still together. I truly believe the time we spent apart, and with other people, has strengthend what we have, and are continuing to build now.

call me a hopeless romantic, but I do feel that there is that perfect one for each of us. Some are lucky enough to find them straight away, and have a wonderful life together...others have to take the long and bumpy road to come together and know it's right.

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It's occurred to me that we often discuss "getting back together" stories as if this is the way it's meant to be. I suppose this might be obvious, but the stories here get a bit skewed b/c most people seem to be here because they were dumped. So naturally, we gravitate towards stories about getting back together. For every one of these stories however, there are probably just as many stories of people who met the love of their life after they had dumped someone else. We talk about rebounds as if they're not supposed to be together. But I suppose that all depends on the point of view, eh?

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It's occurred to me that we often discuss "getting back together" stories as if this is the way it's meant to be. I suppose this might be obvious, but the stories here get a bit skewed b/c most people seem to be here because they were dumped. So naturally, we gravitate towards stories about getting back together. For every one of these stories however, there are probably just as many stories of people who met the love of their life after they had dumped someone else. We talk about rebounds as if they're not supposed to be together. But I suppose that all depends on the point of view, eh?

 

I couldnt agree more

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It's occurred to me that we often discuss "getting back together" stories as if this is the way it's meant to be. I suppose this might be obvious, but the stories here get a bit skewed b/c most people seem to be here because they were dumped. So naturally, we gravitate towards stories about getting back together. For every one of these stories however, there are probably just as many stories of people who met the love of their life after they had dumped someone else. We talk about rebounds as if they're not supposed to be together. But I suppose that all depends on the point of view, eh?

 

 

 

While what you say is true the whole point of this thread, in my opinion, is to read stories that make people here feel better. So what if x% of broken relationships don't reconcile successfully, let people read feel good stories. they can go into any other thread on this site and listen to people tell them "your better off without him/her, good thing it happened now, give up hope, etc..."

 

Pessimism is rampant on here, as it's a huge part of our modern culture. Let people have hope, life without hope would be hell. In my own personal experience I know that there is little chance at reconciliation, especially at his point since my ex and I don't speak to each other at all. But with a ton of examining myself I have found traits in myself that may have led to the breakup (even though she said it was all her and I was perfect), so I'm bettering myself in areas that I see in retrospect I may have been weak. Does it mean I'll have a happy ending with her? No, but i have hope because i'm making myself a better man and I hope she is doing the same or will in the near future.

 

Plus it's not only dumpees who come on here looking for answers to reconciling. I have read posts from dumpers as well, who either want to go back, but are scared that they will be rejected or they tried and were turned down. Doesn't mean it will or won't work out for them in the long run, but it doesn't hurt to have hope as long as it doesn't become an obsession.

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Okay, let's calm down a bit here. I'm not trying to introduce any pessimism into the discussion. I'm trying to point out there is often someone else involved whose heart also be getting broken when two people get "back together". I myself as well as many others I'm sure, have been on the other side where we fell for someone who then developed doubts and left for an ex. Great for them. Sucks for the person who got left. All I'm pointing out is that a "happy ending" all depends on whose shoes you're in and that there is often a third person involved who is also a dumpee.

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I'm a cynic at the best of times, and I'm no longer pining for my ex and I'm ready for the chance to explore something new.

 

However I'm always miffed by posters who seemingly rain on the parade of threads like this with comments such as - "it doesn't always end happily, you know".

 

What's the point of that? Why not start a thread entitled 'It doesn't always end in happiness, you know' (preferably not in the 'Getting Back Together' forum) and leave the incurable romantics to have the cockles of their hearts warmed with stories of reconciliations which went against the odds?

 

If they then become cynical, they can always go and comment in those threads, lol!

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not to get the thread back on track or anything but I have a reconciliation story.

 

-My little brother and his girlfriend broke up for about 8 months. They were both and still in high school. The girl was the dumper and broke up with my brother for another guy (over text mind you). My brother said some really harsh things about her and i guess that helped him heal he claims he got over her in a week but you could tell he was still hurt a bit. My brother didn't date anybody else but enjoyed being single with friends and just being a high school kid. My little brother is a really self-sustaining person and at least appeared over her. After awhile they reconnected I assume they had LC or NC during those 8 months. They eventually got back together and been together ever since. My brother tells me that the break helped both of them out a lot and now actually trust each other more. They are planning to get married someday and have both his and her families blessings.- (next time I see him I'll ask him again and update this post)

 

What I take from this is that even though it is harder to deal with a break-up. You have to get out of that funk as fast and healthily as possible (or appear you have). Seek support from anything (family, friends, hobbies, etc. excluding drugs/alcohol) but don't abuse those sources of support.

 

When somebody puts "your better off, just grow a pair and move on > they are telling you this because if you were moved on then you'd be fine without the ex and if they come back then that is great too but you, again, would be fine without them.

 

Thanks for reading. and if you guys want to read my story and have any advice I would love to post a story of mine on here someday.

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Ok, I have two success stories to share.

 

1. I talked to this girls that work in the bookstore in my building. We have been semi-friends, used to see each other out at bars watching local bands play. A few days ago I saw her and I remembered that about 2 years ago she was having a rough time so I asked if that ever worked out and she gave me this story. she and her SO dated for a few years and had broken up and got back together a few times. About two years ago they were engaged and one day he gave her the whole "I love you, just not in love wit you anymore" line. They had mostly NC and after 6 months he came asking her back, she denied him telling him she couldn't trust he wouldn't do it again. He kept himself around and proved to her through his actions that he had changed. 2 months later they were re-engaged and they've now been married for over a year. She told me that they still have some issues now and then, but they handle things in a more mmature way now instead of just running away.

 

2. This might blow some people's minds, but this is about my ex-fiance's dad. I actually talked to him a few days ago, i called him to confess that I said some unkind things about him when he told my ex that he was no longer paying for the wedding when we were only 8 weeks out (she left me 3 weeks later). His business just wasn't doing well, he did want us to get married but just couldn't afford it. I understood his business problems, but I had also see him blow $20,000+ in the past 6 months on frivolous things. anyways I am going through the process of examining my own sins and I believe that me lashing out about him spending his money the way he did instead of putting some aside for our wedding was prideful, I lashed out and sinned against him with a verbal outburst to my ex. He never knew, but part of me being a better man was to call him and confess what I said. He forgave me and commended me for trying to improve myself as a Christian. He said i should call my ex and tell her what I'm up to, but I told him I wasn't ready for that just yet. Anyways, enough about the back story of why I called him. Less than a month after my ex left and moved in with him he broke up with his fiance'. She tended to have a bit of a drinking problem, she didn't drink everyday, but when she did she would say hurtful belittling things to him. One day he had enough and called her family to come get her and her stuff out of his house. I had talked to him about it and I could tell he wanted her back and I said to him "well hopefully she'll realize what she has done to ruin this relationship and get some help". He said he hoped the same thing, but wasn't going to hold out hope. After two months she came back and he took her back, she has quit drinking and he says the last 3 weeks with her have been even better than the year and a half before the breakup. He went on to tell me that he is glad that she is the one that called him up, because he had resigned himself to living the rest of his life single and no matter how much he wanted to he would never call her. Of course I think "like father like daughter" and I will probably have to be the one to take the first step when I feel like i won't be hurt even more by a rejection.

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ok some more stories:

 

1. a close female friend of mine had a relationship with a co-worker for about 3 months. They broke up because the guy cheated on her. Four years later (LC) they reconnected and are now together.

 

2. another close friend of mine went out with her boyfriend for about a year. They broke up for 2 years with them dating other people but still communicating with each other. They reconnected after 2 years and are now married to each other.

 

It does happen but just as there are many getting back together stories, there are equally more not getting back together stories. ;p

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There is hope to getting back together with your ex. Honestly though something needs to change in order for that to happen. My boyfriend and I were engaged for a year and a month ago he broke off the engagement. I was in so much pain and came to realize I was the cause of it and that we both needed to concentrate on ourselves for awhile. With no contact for some time made me realize things. I found that I lost myself through the engagement and that I was lying to myself. I had to change...plain and simple. I needed to be open about everything to him, honest to others but most important to myself about what I wanted out of life. I did a lot of "soul searching" and found who I really wanted to be. I noticed through friends and family they saw these changes taking place and soon he found out I was a new person.. e are working things out now and are in a committed relationship. We both want to spend the rest of our lives together but have more to explore before we go back to being engaged. It can happen but it is ALOT OF WORK! You can NEVER just get back together as both being the same person as before. Either both or one person NEEDS to change some aspect of them self. They have to realize this by themselves that they need to change something to better themselves…no one else can tell them to change. Also both people have to be fully understanding and willing to fight for things to work. Otherwise you will end up breaking up again.

 

We are happier than ever and feel this happening is a blessing!

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I think it happens, but it's rarer than people think. I think it can happen with ONE condition:

 

The dumper did NOT leave the dumpee for someone else.

 

Obviously, other conditions must be met, too....but that one MUST exist, IMO>

 

These forums are rife with examples of dumpers who left the dumpees for someone else and returned.

 

There are no such preconditions and anything can happen. How much you hold on to that hope is your call though.

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I think it happens, but it's rarer than people think. I think it can happen with ONE condition:

 

The dumper did NOT leave the dumpee for someone else.

 

Obviously, other conditions must be met, too....but that one MUST exist, IMO>

Not true. My first college girlfriend left me for another guy, and, a year and a half later -- when she was the furthest thing from my mind -- she called me out of nowhere and the reconciliation began. We were actually much happier the second time around.

 

There are no "musts" and no generalizations that can be applied to everyone.

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It does happen, I have seen an older couple, get divorced when their children were young, he remarried a different woman, as they aged, he and the ex remained friends, got back together at an older age realizing they were truly in love and nothing can change that, even if you move on with someone else, there is something about real love, he has passed on since then, but the woman felt so loved, knowing he was with her before that and knows they will be reconnected again someday

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I think it happens, but it's rarer than people think. I think it can happen with ONE condition:

 

The dumper did NOT leave the dumpee for someone else.

 

Obviously, other conditions must be met, too....but that one MUST exist, IMO>

 

There are no hard conditions. Lots of people have got back together after this. The only conditions are that both are wanting to be together and both have forgiveness

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