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Getting back together really does happen!


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I have a question after reading this thread...it maybe kind off topic but I'll throw it out there anyways, in terms of having a successful reconciliation (meaning marriage, children, and living happily), does it matter if you have broken up two times, three times, four times? I know some say if you have broken up once or twice before, then it's a bad sign. I'm interested in hearing people's opinions?

 

My parents haven't divorce each other yet. LOL They always talked about it.

 

When they argued, they go full-blown argument. My mom would say she would want a divorce due to my dad's crazy attitude and not be able to handle situations. My dad on the other hand would be if that's what you want, then fine. He would walk outside to cool off.

 

I could of sworn there are times I thought they would get divorce. But after the cool off they would sorry and laugh about it.

 

I don't know my parents are crazy but boy it is funny when they fight.

 

I guess it depends on the couple if they can handle the intense argument and laugh about it later.

 

I'm 22, so if they had a chance to divorce the number of times that they agreed to would have been at least 15.

 

They never did.

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I don't know if posting a story involving a couple over thirty years ago is valid or not. It is, however, what has always given me strength in relationships. The people that it involves are the sole reason for the great depth of love and compassion that I possess. It's about my parents. My dad knocked my mom up in college. He was a few years older than her. She was in her early twenties. I believe my dad was my mom's first serious relationship. My dad had one before her, but he recently told me that he never was in love prior to meeting my mom.

 

Anyway, they were together for a couple years before she got pregnant. My dad was an extremely caring person, but at that stage in his life he was not ready to settle. My mom, on the other hand, never carried any doubt that my dad was the one for her. Once my mom got pregnant, my dad freaked out and left her. He was unable to commit, and my mom ended up dropping out of college to go live with her grandmother for support. During this time, my mom was very strong, and told my dad up front that her child would not have a part time father. Either he was fully committed, or he was out. My dad struggled for months to commit. To this day, he is one of the most adventurous people you can meet, and he simply was not ready for either a child or marriage. But after some months, he finally came through.

 

I would imagine that it would have been easy to demonize him at that point in time. I'm not sure what kind of advice my mom was receiving, but she grew up in a highly religious household and she got knocked up by a closet atheist. None of this could have been easy. But my dad did eventually come through. They married a little over a month before my older brother's birth. And growing up, I must say that I took their love for granted. I thought every child's parents were as in love as mine. They were always absolutely obsessed with one another. They had their challenges of course, but all in all, I thought love was ridiculously easy. Every time I had a crush on a girl growing up, I could see how our lives would unfold together. Just like my parents, it would be so simple.

 

Going on two years ago, my mom passed away due to complications from a rare form of cancer. She fought for twelve years before her passing. No one, including my mom's family and our family friends, has ever seen a person as dedicated to someone else's struggle than my dad was. He was there every step of the way. He knew more about her medical condition than her nurses did. Even on her worst days, my dad was confident that she would out live him. After all, it was her confidence in him that convinced him to go the route he did in life, and he never regretted it for a moment.

 

I am now going through my first serious break up, but considering what my dad has had to go through, I really can’t complain. I actually see a lot of the same elements in my ex that my dad possesses. Her independent nature is part of the reason I love her so much, but that is probably wishful thinking. Regardless, I know that sometimes people do deserve second chances. They just have to prove it.

Edited by howinvoluntary
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I know a bunch of people who have gotten back together.

 

My friend dumped her boyfriend of two years, they went NC. They both had their own separate flings with others during that time. They got together three months later, and now they're been married for two years!

 

My ex-boyfriend's sister broke up with her boyfriend, but he didn't take no for an answer. Chased her down, got her back, and now they're married, too.

 

Friends I knew split after four years, more mutual than anything. They each went their own ways for 8-9 months, dated other people, moved on with life. They reconnected and now they're engaged.

 

And I at least know of 5-6 more unsuccessful reconciliation stories, where they just ended up breaking up again, but yes -- getting back together happens a lot. If there was real love in a relationship, and broke up for reasons other than abuse or cheating, I think it's quite likely that people will at least toy with the idea of getting back together with a former love. Maybe the timing was off, or someone moved away, or they were too young and didn't have enough life experience.

 

I still have hopes of getting back together with my ex one day. But I know in every successful reconciliation story I've heard, both parties MOVED ON. When you focus on making yourself happy, everything else will feel good and fall into place as they should.

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I was going to post just the one and then I heard another today.

 

First one; I don't know the ins and outs but they were together for a couple of years & then broke up for about a year (I'm pretty sure they remained friends the whole time) and then got back together again and got engaged a couple of months ago after being together for about another year again.

 

Second one; again I don't know exactly what happened but they were married for 20 years, got divorced and a year later, they are now getting married again this coming weekend.

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1st bf: dated senior year of high school, after a year broke up with me, a year and some odd months later we went out again, I dumped him for good. I just didn't want him anymore, still don't understand what I saw in him.

 

2nd bf: dated 8 months, broke up for 4, got back together for about another year, now broken up again. time will only tell if we'll be back together.

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it surely does happen because nothing is impossible but it happens very rarely .it only happens if both people are broken-up on good terms or atleast only crying and begging is involved nothing more than it .when the break-ups happen on bad terms like exchange of harsh/bitter words ,stalking,insulting than its not possible or atleast very difficult to get back together

 

atleast i havent heard any story of getting back together after horrible/worse break-up

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it surely does happen because nothing is impossible but it happens very rarely .it only happens if both people are broken-up on good terms or atleast only crying and begging is involved nothing more than it .when the break-ups happen on bad terms like exchange of harsh/bitter words ,stalking,insulting than its not possible or atleast very difficult to get back together

 

atleast i havent heard any story of getting back together after horrible/worse break-up

 

It happens more often than you'd think, most people just don't talk about it so you don't hear about it and what you're saying wasn't the case for me. There were more than a few bitter words exchanged etc after the breakup and we got back together a year later. No one can ever know, even people who say they never will get back together and are sure of it sometimes happen to get back together. Things are said in the heat of the moment that often aren't really meant so you can't go by those words alone. You can never really know.

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It happens more often than you'd think, most people just don't talk about it so you don't hear about it and what you're saying wasn't the case for me. There were more than a few bitter words exchanged etc after the breakup and we got back together a year later. No one can ever know, even people who say they never will get back together and are sure of it sometimes happen to get back together. Things are said in the heat of the moment that often aren't really meant so you can't go by those words alone. You can never really know.

 

i agree with bold part when i broke-up with my gf 5 years ago (she by the way was my cousin) she created a mess in whole family ,she made my whole family against me and everyone was looking at me like i have done 100 murders ,but i kept cool coz i knew she is doing this out of hurt and anger

 

but important thing is you have to keep in mind that every person doesnot understand it ,some may tolerate it later but some never till their death.like my recent gf who broke-up me after 3 years was expecting me to leave her like princess after she dumped me so cruelly ,even her family mother and aunt said me with so much cool attitude "why you are crying ,it was just a relationship,its over now there is no big deal in it" they all wanted to let her go with a smile on my face and possibly with a break-up party lol but when i reacted in anger they abused me and switched off theri contacts to throw me out of their lives.they never understood or atleast never wanted to that everyone in hurt and ager react in a bad way ,you have to forgive them

 

so my point was not every person is same in your case you got lucky that your bf understood that you havent said that deliberately but most people can never understand,you can never compare nad predict human psychology

 

by the way i will like to know your break-up and getting back story coz um going through same patch ,if you dont mind can you pm me or provide me the link where you have posted that story

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Here is one:

 

One of my girlfriends went through a brutal separation/divorce. A mutual friend set her up with a much better guy. My friend wanted to have children, the new guy did not as he already has 2 daughters. The had a few minor fights about this. At one point they were supposed to go on vacation. A big fight caused the cancellation of the vacation. My girlfriend decided instead of laying in bed for a week, she went on a cruise by herself. The cruise was boring, but, her man found out she went away by herself. Upon her return (February of this year) then got back together and are now moving in together. They may or may not have kids at this point

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