Elsewhere Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 My ex bf who I still love was mistreating me when we were together, lied, ignored my needs - but for the sake of love I was forgiving. I was living his way. He finally cheated - I suffered but took him back only to have him leave to another woman soon. He had his way again. Now: I am suffering again and miss him, I'm lonely and can't find noone interesting (even though I've been dating a lot), while he is happy having another woman in love with him just like I was/am. Just wanted to vent about lack of justice, where is "what goes around comes around"? I don't want him to suffer like I am suffering. I just want to be happy myself. I was hoping for some compensation for all the pain, but I only get ...more pain! Link to comment
ToodlePip Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 It generally does, just not when you expect it. Maybe it's being saved up for when he has 3 kids, and then his wife will totally destroy his life. Who knows. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 It generally does, just not when you expect it. Maybe it's being saved up for when he has 3 kids, and then his wife will totally destroy his life. Who knows. Do you really think that cheaters are happy? Cheaters are typically insecure and incapable of dealing with conflict, so they run. Don't be decieved. You took him back and made a mistake. Howeve, you LEARNED. You can now take that lesson and NEVER make that mistake for any boy every again. Link to comment
redreine Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 You can take solace in the fact that he'll never hurt you again, though. I suggest playing "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood on repeat. For a week or two. lol. I've not been cheated on, but I have been left. My song of choice was "I'm The Only One" by Melissa Etheridge. I'm a music junkie, lol. Link to comment
ToodlePip Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Do you really think that cheaters are happy? That as well! Link to comment
Katie1607308012 Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 hehe, im waiting for my justice also Link to comment
Elsewhere Posted March 25, 2009 Author Share Posted March 25, 2009 I don't wish anybody's life to be destroyed - I wish him happiness, honestly. I just can't see why can't I for one time be happy?! Debaser, I don't think I learned cause every night I pray for him to come back I am pathetic and I know it! I miss him so bad and all the dating only prooves that it's gonna be hard to replace him. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Oh, you're not pathetic, you just aren't protecting yourself. He's bad for you. He's the pathetic one. Empower yourself and learn to reject men who aren't worth your time. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Btw, don't be trying to replace him. Try to find a guy that is good for you in your life, not another rat to fit a rat's place. Link to comment
ashley0224 Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 OP: I know what you mean...where is the referee of relationships? I really want a penalty kick. . It generally does, just not when you expect it. Maybe it's being saved up for when he has 3 kids, and then his wife will totally destroy his life. Who knows. I agree with the above statement. In the past I've had some lousy breakups...and almost every time that I have been wronged, that person ended up suffering or getting their heart broken just as badly as me and then came crawling back. Sad thing is, it usally happens when I couldnt care less about them or how they feel. Link to comment
Elsewhere Posted March 25, 2009 Author Share Posted March 25, 2009 Thank you!!! I find it hard to find someone worth my time that's the problem. He was the only guy who actually cared - and guess what? he didn't care neither... [laughing my crying ass off] Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Thank you!!! I find it hard to find someone worth my time that's the problem. He was the only guy who actually cared - and guess what? he didn't care neither... [laughing my crying ass off] These things take time. And, it will be hard to find someone worth your time. But, it's definitely worth it. You're trying to find a life partner here. They shouldn't be anything less than what you need. Link to comment
Elsewhere Posted March 25, 2009 Author Share Posted March 25, 2009 These things take time. And, it will be hard to find someone worth your time. But, it's definitely worth it. You're trying to find a life partner here. They shouldn't be anything less than what you need. Exacly! But I'm getting scared that such person may not show up at all. And if he does, again he may just not love me enough. I am successfull in every other part of my life - but when it comes to love I am a total loser, can never get it right. Link to comment
Elsewhere Posted March 25, 2009 Author Share Posted March 25, 2009 OP: I know what you mean...where is the referee of relationships? I really want a penalty kick. . I agree with the above statement. In the past I've had some lousy breakups...and almost every time that I have been wronged, that person ended up suffering or getting their heart broken just as badly as me and then came crawling back. Sad thing is, it usally happens when I couldnt care less about them or how they feel. I sooo want to get to that point! If I can't fall in love with someone else happily, at least I don't want to feel the pain of an unhappy love, ughhhhhhrrr. Link to comment
jul-els Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 When you love someone you tend to want to make sacrifices for them and that's ok. It only becomes a problem when the sacrifices are detrimental to your own well being. That has to come first before you can fully give of yourself to another. Learning that lesson is the reason why you are having what you term as "bad karma". You're ex didn't do anything detrimental to himself. He always put his own best interests first and that's why it appears he is continuing to get what he wants. But his selfishness really comes from a place from emptiness and all the people he hurts in an attempt fill that void will come back to him at some point. The universe always keeps it's accounts balanced. The best thing you can take away from this is not to worry about what's happening to him. Look out for you. You are a good person with a lot to give. Don't think you need to compromise that to in order to make someone else happy. You will find someone who appreciates you for all of the great things that make you who you are. Link to comment
greywolf Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 OP: wishing justice/karma/vengeance on your ex only affects you. You can't be happy when you're busy hating someone. Besides, the best revenge is moving on and forgetting about them. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 You dont want justice or karma, you want revenge. In effect you are envious because he has been able to find another girl and you havent been able to a guy that you are interested in. Concentrate on your own circumstances and realize that he is no longer a part of your life and what his life is or isnt does not matter to you. Link to comment
Elsewhere Posted March 25, 2009 Author Share Posted March 25, 2009 I know I should focus on myself but as a dumpee it becomes my obsession to see what does she have that I don't. What you say about not being detrimental toward my own needs is very important in every relationship, if I don't respect myself, how is he going to? ------ Revenge - yes maybe I want it! but I want my revenge to be him seeing me happy and wondering: why did I not appreciate her? I do not want him to be in pain. I don't blame him for feeling the way he did, he stopped loving me - it's beyond one's control. I believe everyone deserves to be happy. Link to comment
jul-els Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I know I should focus on myself but as a dumpee it becomes my obsession to see what does she have that I don't. Absolutely nothing. Aside from the problems that he once brought into your life. You are now free from it. Link to comment
Elsewhere Posted March 25, 2009 Author Share Posted March 25, 2009 hahaha jul-els that's a good one! that's my motto! on the second thought - she also has the benefit of having him , my love is hopelessly stubborn blah Link to comment
jul-els Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 my love is hopelessly stubborn blah That's the healing process. You'll come through much stronger and wiser. Link to comment
greywolf Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 True love isn't spiteful. So if you really love him, let him live his life as he pleases. Link to comment
philove Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 In my opinion she has every right to feel spiteful. Getting cheated on is one of most painful experiences anyone can deal with. Link to comment
greywolf Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 In my opinion she has every right to feel spiteful. Getting cheated on is one of most painful experiences anyone can deal with. Being spiteful only hurts yourself. Link to comment
WomanWriter Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 Awwwwwww...I need to vent on this topic! He hurt me so bad and NOW I FINALLY hear he's doing well! It's killing me that I found a Facebook page that he JUST made 2 weeks ago with new pics and everything! I'm on FB too but he didn't invite me to be a friend! I could look at it though since he is the same network...I found the girl he works with inviting him over to her house! WHYYYYYYY?! He said he missed his old job (but not ME). OMG! And new pics on Myspace lookin good. THIS SUCKS! Link to comment
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