Katie1607308012 Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 So i was with my guy for 3 years(engaged, practically lived together) and we worked together. He left our store to go off for training for 3 months. I found out he'd been cheating on me for 2 months, when i saw him with her in photos. We ended things. I would never take back a cheat...anyway, we continued to work together for 5 months, without speaking, and it was very awkward and uncomfortable, his new girlfriend would come into the store and would walk hand in hand as they did his shopping. As you can imagine it broke me into a million pieces. So, he recently left our store again to work on his placement, he's been gone 1 month, yet he continues to come into the store i work in, to chat to other staff members, ive seen him loads since he left. Today I bumped into them whilst i was shopping in Topshop. She came over ot hte same stand that I was at, and proceeded to slap his bum...right in front of me...why?! Is this normal? She knew exactly who i was. So, I got my stuff and went, started crying on the bus liek a loser tho...I dont think I still love him...do i? what can i do? Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 You're not a loser... they're very immature and insensitive, and he's a cheater and good riddance. I can't imagine dating someone and slapping his butt in front of his (recently) former fiance. That shows how immature and stupid SHE is and has nothing to do with you. Of course it is going to hurt for a while because you had such high hopes for him... but when you feel sad, remember that he's a cheater, and this new girlfriend of his won't be so cocky and happy when he cheats on her with the next one! Link to comment
girl68 Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Do nothing, say nothing. React and she knows she got you, which is exactly the whole point of that. You might not love him but you're certainly not over him and there's nothing wrong with that. Must be hard to avoid him when he's doing everything to run into you. Oh well, let him! Possess this kind of attitude that makes you seem like you're good and well without him. Smile lots that will surely piss him off that you're doing so good! Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 She's a tramp fair and square. She wants to rub it in your face like she 'won". What she won is a lying, deceiving, cowardly cheater. Haha jokes on her Link to comment
Katie1607308012 Posted March 25, 2009 Author Share Posted March 25, 2009 yay! thank you for all your words of wisdom I love this site, so much. I just couldn't believe it, i got quite angry, but just smiled, then crumbled when i got out the store lol. What more can I do to get over him? I have been with other guys, been on many dates, etc...just dunno what else to do Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 She's not a tramp for doing that, she is probably just insecure and needs reassurance. Don't say she's a tramp until you've been on her shoes. Been in her shoes, as in help someone cheat on his girlfriend? No thanks. Self respecting women don't do that IMO. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 She's not a tramp for doing that, she is probably just insecure and needs reassurance. Don't say she's a tramp until you've been on her shoes. what is she? she helped a guy cheat. she's not proper that's for sure. Link to comment
jstaman Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I had an ex of mine do basically the same thing to me. She would make sure that if I saw her and her new BF in public that she was all over him, kissing and cuddling (it was pathetic). So I just ignored them. One night I was at the local bar and her BF came in and we started talking, he was a nice guy we had a few brews and chatted. I told him who I was and he let me know that she annoyed the hell out of him with that jealous BS she was doing.. My advice. Ignore him. He is playing at your emotions in a very immature way. When you see him wave smile, maybe even talk to him ask how things are going, see if he has the balls to introduce you to his new GF. talk to her, don't be * * * * * y or conceded be nice to her. Hopefully what this will do is make her say that you seemed nice and she will resent him a lil bit for being an ass. in my case that's what happened. Me and that guy are good friends and it pissed my ex off soooo bad that he thought I was a good guy. Just FYI the reason we broke up was she wanted more, more money and gifts and I didn't have it to give. I couldn't shower her with gifts and that's what she wanted. I know this because thats what she told me. Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 She's not a tramp for doing that, she is probably just insecure and needs reassurance. Don't say she's a tramp until you've been on her shoes. i dunno, i think tramp is pretty accurate. OP, i think you did a good job by not reacting...and while it hurts, i think you know that your lucky not to be with someone like that still Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 No, as in dating someone and being in the presence of the ex girlfriend with whom he was very serious. And there's nothing really to do, you just need time. That's not why I said that. I said that because she started seeing him while he still had a girlfriend...unless it's not the same chick I guess I just assumed it was Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 It's awesome how it's always the new girl that gets bashed and never the * * * * * * * that left you. you seem to be taking this a little personally, Mindy. yes, i bashed him too. I think they're both losers. Yup. Sure do. My aim here is to help the OP feel better and see that's she's not missing out on much. Link to comment
ashley0224 Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I agree wtih the person who said she's insecure. Think about it, he cheated, you left.....she never got the chance to "duke it out" with you. She doesnt know if given a choice, whether he would chose you. She only "won" by default...gosh, it must be difficult for her selfesteem... Keep your head held high, let them do what they want. If they crash and burn? good for them...if they work out? well, they deserve each other. You should be proud that you walked away, from the relationship and the recent encounter. You held yourself together better than I would have and I look up to you for it. A Link to comment
Katie1607308012 Posted March 25, 2009 Author Share Posted March 25, 2009 No, as in dating someone and being in the presence of the ex girlfriend with whom he was very serious. And there's nothing really to do, you just need time. Hmm, she knows my mum, and she knew we were engaged. So imo, she's a tramp, and doing that just makes her an insecure tramp. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Hmm, she knows my mum, and she knew we were engaged. So imo, she's a tramp, and doing that just makes her an insecure tramp. Bingo. I agree. Link to comment
Katie1607308012 Posted March 25, 2009 Author Share Posted March 25, 2009 See, now i have my smart head on, haha *huggles* Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Hmm, she knows my mum, and she knew we were engaged. So imo, she's a tramp, and doing that just makes her an insecure tramp. She's pathetic. He's pathetic and together they will plumb the depths of pathetic like no one else. Next time you see them and she does something like that I'd ask her if she's had her shots? Low blow, but I hate people who are so obviously lacking in morals or sense. Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 on other comment... one thing i've noticed is that women who get the guy by enticing them away from another women and being the other woman before they become the main girlfriend, frequently are very competitive with other women and have their own issues. They may get off on 'stealing' a man from another woman, makes them feel powerful. Or the inverse, where they KNOW they really went after the guy and got him to cheat, so they are afraid some other women will take their man the same way, including the ex 'stealing' the man back. So they will play these little 'he's mine and don't you forget' it games like patting his butt in front of the ex to announce that he's 'her' territory now, either to gloat or out of fear to try to establish dominance. The most crazy jealous woman i ever met was a big cheater herself, and if any other woman got within 50 feet of her husband, even just casual friends or neighbors or women 20 years older than him, she just come screaming at you like a crazed banshee to make it clear you needed to 'stay away from her man'. Her husband did a small favor for an old family (female) friend/neighbor who happened to get divorced, nothing at all sexual between this woman and him, and the crazed wife went to that woman's work and kid's school and harassed the poor woman as if she had cheated with the husband and there was nothing going on! she was fully convinced that now that their friend was getting divorced, she'd go after her own husband and try to 'steal' him, when there was no basis whatsover for her paranoia other than her own personal history as a cheater making her think everyone else would do it with her husband. But it was all the wife's own insecurities and competitive nature, because she was a cheater herself and was hence terrified some other woman was like herself and might steal her husband. i called over to their house one morning on business to talk to the husband, and the wife then proceeded to tell me that she hated when people called and interrupted them having sex and blah blah blah... totally inappropriate of her, but she was showing her dominance over her husband, like he's my man and don't you dare think about taking him when of course i was only calling him on business and not the least bit interested. i was so stunned that she would behave that way and terribly sorry for her poor husband who had to put up with a real harpy constantly embarassing him and making his and other people's lives hell. it's almost like a dog that pees on a tree to mark his territory... that is what the other woman is doing to your ex by patting his butt in front of you! so next time they put on a show, just laugh and shake your head at them... that woman that he thinks is 'cute' now most likely will be making his life hell soon, whether that is being overly jealous/possessive, or running off with a new man herself. Link to comment
ruffles Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 She's insecure (rightly so, he's a cheater) and he's a pathetic loser for parading around in front of you, and parading around in front of you with her no less, and not telling her to chill out when you're around. They both sound like very insecure, weak characters. We'll laugh at the quality of their relationship in a year (if not much less). And why did you break down once you left (after acting so cool -- yes! nice!)? Because you were betrayed, completely and horribly by someone that you were ready to invest your entire life in/with. It doesn't mean you love him (the true him), it means that seeing them and especially seeing them behave that way in front of you pulled the scab off the wound of betrayal, which is a very deep wound. Keep up the strength! Bravo! Link to comment
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