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jenlhamilton
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I am new to this board. I have been in a long distance relationship 2years and 8 months today. Lately the distance has became a problem in my relationship. It is to the point where he doesn't know if he wants me to make the move to be with him. He is scared after I make the move and move in with him that he will get tired of me. We see each other every weekend and sometimes during the week. He says that he feels guilty for making me move but I keep on telling him that I want to move because I want to be with him. I really don't mind moving. I think this is a good thing. He has made the comment maybe we should be friends and find someone closer so no one has to make a lifestyle change. He says he always thinks about it and it makes him miserable. He says he loves me and if the distance wouldn't be in the way then we wouldn't be having this problem. I don't understand then why he doesn't want me to take that next step. I am having trouble understanding why he is like this. How can I make him feel better about this? I really want this to work and I honestly believe it can. Has someone else been in this situation? Please help me!

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I can't really say too much on this topic but I would still like to help. I would feel the same way if I were your boyfriend (obviously what I mean is just being in that situation)... I think he does want his space, as anyone would, and probably thinks it may be uncomfortable. But who knows, it is quite a predicament and I think you should just have a good chat with him, share your feelings and ideas, and just let him have time to think about it. I'm sure things will work out well, and I hope they do! Best of luck!

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I think his motives and reasoning have nothing to do with his current feelings for you. I think he is trying to do his best to look at the big picture. What happens if you do move and a year later you both decide its not working and break up. Then what? He'll feel guilty he moved you all the way here and it didn't work out. I dont think its a matter of him not caring for you in fact if you get right down to it, its shows how much he truly does care for you. Plus it puts you and him both in an awkward siutation if you ever do happen to split up. Would you be hesitant to call it quits knowing you changed your life style for him and vice versa? I can't answer these questions. But putting myself in his shoes these are the questions I would have and issues I would contemplate. Maybe give it a bit more time see what happens? Maybe take a break and see how much you both miss each other? I dont know, just some suggestions. Hope this helped.

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