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very mixed signals from a best friend


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Okay so I will try to keep this short. Basically I am very attracted to my best guy friend. We are both in our first year of college so the friendship has not gone on for long. However he knows I like him and he says he really likes me too but is "a * * * * ed up kid" and afraid to hurt me. idk if he's a good actor or not but after he said that once I was like yeah you really hurt me the other day and told him why and he got really teary eyed, like he felt horrible. I also know he still talks with his old ex/best friend (went out for 3 years) quite frequently. He has stated how he doesn't want to get back together with her but still cares for her.

ANYHOW I get the whiplash I guess because I get very mixed signals. He will get up extremely early to spend hours alone with me, makes sure we have a lunch between just us (away from campus) atleast once a week, also makes sure I am okay and stops whatever he's doing if I am not. And we have this picture together, I took, that he asked for and when I gave it to him he put it front center above his desk and for a while it was the only college friend picture he had up.This is just the basics, like I said I am keeping it short. I feel he is genuine but I may just be blinded. However, I feel he may take advantage of having me there because, since we are best friends, I always want to hang out with him. I find myself doing all the work; such a calling/texting him, inviting him places, going over to him dorm, etc.

I definitely feel ignored and then out of the blue he will be like I feel horrible for making you feel ignored (without me saying anything), calling/inviting me and stuff like that. And he does things like just hold me for hours after something bad has happened in my family, completely giving up his night.

So that is definitely a rollarcoaster.

But recently I feel like he is even more...removed(?). Like he never makes an effort and always wants to hang out with his one guy friend. I feel like I have been replaced. I mean we are not dating, cause I guess he's "too * * * * ed up and needs to work on himself", but still... we basically were.


Its just, ugh, i want to get over him and not care but it hurts. And I don't know how to read him at all.


i can further clarify if needed but please help me!!!!

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