Contacting an ex on B-day/holiday

[needs]

Today is my ex's birthday. I'm having a tough time stopping myself from a happy bday facebook msg or text. I don't know why I have this urge today its nothering me like she just broke it off. It's been 8 months now. 6 months 5 months with NC.

 

Would it be bad to send just that? Or should I erase out of my mind?

[UCLAMike]

if u send the message, you are back to day 1. this isn't some cliche or trick. You send it, you burn. get rid of the desire to even think about her. what have u been doing in the past 8 months anyway? just waiting for feelings to go away? dude i learned it the hard way it doesn't. u have to make a choice, uncover all the denial, feel the pain, and realize you deserve better than to be dumped. you didn't just get dumped. there were signs of her/his character or motives or whatever.

 

Heal dude heal. Don't break NC.

[huskiesfan]

Why do it?

 

It will send you back to square one of NC, and you probably aren't going to get the response that you want, if she even responds at all.

 

Since she's the one who dumped you, ask yourself this question:

 

Do you think she would take the time of day to wish you a happy birthday? I seriously doubt it.

 

Don't break all the hard work you've done thus far just to do something that can only hurt you.

[shikashika]

do it.. it will be a nice thing to do.

 

This NC crap just makes it more painful.

[Sev]

Do what you think is right for you mate, personally its my ex's bday tomorrow im unsure, i was going to send a card, now im definetly not, i might either text or send fb message but then again, i might just not bother at all to make her realise im not always going to be there giving a damn, might wake her up if i dont bother, or it might not

 

Let us know what you decide

[InRecovery]

Fortunately my situation is easier in that its my birthday before hers ... so if she gets in touch I'd probably get in touch (it doesn't help we got together on her birthday) on her birthday, depending on how far moved on I am, but I don't plan on being in the country for either events so that should help.

 

If you're looking for anything in return - looking to show you still think/ care/ want her then I'd not send it. If you hope it sparks something in her then don't send it.

 

Think if its what she would want. Does she want to be thinking about her ex on her birthday ... will she tell her friends that you got in touch and try and make herself seem like she still has a hold of you ... or will she be appreciative?

 

I'd stick to no contact. You'll only be waiting for a response from her that may never come but I could understand you taking this risk.

[needs]

I decided not to send it. I'm looking for a response, to spark something up. My best bet is to have her think that I am moved on from even thinking about her anymore. For all she knows, I don't think about her at all. Truth is, I do and can't wait until the day I don't.

 

Someone that treated me so poorly doesn't deserve me to even look in their direction nevermind wish them and their new significant other a happy birthday. That's his job. I've been relieved of that. So i'll take this day and treat it as any other day on the calendar. Because truly thats what it is, just another day.

[InRecovery]

Well done. You had a really excuse to set yourself back ... but you were strong and made a positive choice.

 

Thats sometimes the hardest thing to do.

[needs]

If I did it, she could possibly start something up and say she's been thinking about wanting to contact me but didn't know if I wanted that blah blah. We then could start talking again and maybe hanging out in the future....

 

Or she could say thank you or maybe not even respond.

 

Bottom line, I don't want either. Yes I miss her and yes I would luke to be with her at this moment only from my heart. But, soneobe who cheated on me and left me for done random guy doesn't deserve my time or my love.

 

So really, that's what I must go on, this particular girl is not worth my time. I'll be upset beciae my heart isn't healed yet but more importantly my heads in the right place. My heart will catch up soon.

[secretness87]

I guess I'm like on the opposite end of your situation...my birthday was a week ago and I hate to admit it.. but I was bummed when my ex didn't text me happy birthday. The days leading up to my birthday, I kept wondering if he would text or leave me a myspace message, or if he even thought about me for a mere 5 seconds...but it turns out that he didn't send or text me anything.

 

I'm kind of over it now... but yeah... I guess in the end, it was better that he didn't send me anything, because I'm still in the process of getting over him, and I think if he contacted me, it would've made things worse for me..like I would still be dwelling on it. You should just do what you decide to do. In my opinion I don't think you should.

 

Edit: whoops. I just read the part that you said you didn't send it. Good for you