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im deversated i have a STD, and so does my new girlfriend who was so perfect


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hi all, im so deverstated i have just found out that my girlfriend has chlymidia and Herpes, worse still i think i have give it her.

 

I met this girl in January, she was so perfect i really think i love her and she said she loves me, i finally thought at the age of 27 i may have found my wife to be. We have so much fun, she noticed problems on her genitals, it 1st come bk with chlmidia, we have both had medication for this, but she has just had a call advising she has herpes, i havent been tested for this but i have everything else, cause i havent got an outbreak. She is gutted she feels her life is over becasue u always have herpes, i am convinced that i have given it her as she has never had problems before and i have had alot of sexual partners unprotected sex, i feel so guilty, i have been so irresponsible, i have had sores before by my pubic hair but never on my penis, i just thought it was folicle sores from pubic hair so i never went to the clinic (im going back 3 years when i had sore), they cant swab me for herpes cause no outbreak but i just dont know what to do, i really do love her, im convinced i have got it and quite possibly given her herpes, i feel so guilty, can we lead a normal life??? has anyone had this or know anything about it???

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she is fine with me, the nurse has told her that she has probably had it for a long time, so there is a possiblility she did get it before me, i just want things to work out for us because of the way i feel about her i cant blame her for her past but im still convinced its me

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With many people's std situations, it is impossible to really trace back where you "got it" so there isn't a point in fretting. She will probably have to blame you a bit in order for it to make sense to her.

 

Stds are seen as the mark of a terrible person or something (SO untrue, though) and she may need to place the blame on you to calm her guilt.

 

But there is no one to blame, we live and learn.

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Oh my! I dont know what to say..Unless you both are really truthful to each other and think back, long and hard, its going to be very difficult to say who gave who what! I dont think you will ever really find out..Its good she is ok with u about it. Thats a really good thing. U may feel guilty and responsible, but dont be too hard on yourself - because she just as likely could have given it to you. U never know. Also, it is both your responsibilities to have check-ups before having unprotected sex. So you cant blame one person more than the other.These things happen, and it wasnt intentional. And this may serve as a very important lesson in the future to always use protection and go for regular check ups! Who knows, next time it could be HIV. Then your life would really be over. The good news is, chlamydia is treatable and doesnt cause any real problems if dealt with efficiently. As with herpes, its true it stays in your system for life, as it is a virus. BUT, if treated properly all the symptoms (sores,itching etc - not the actal virus) will go away, sometimes for good. Its very important though, that she will take preventative meaures now to protect herself against cervical cancer, and other cancers of the region. She needs to get regular pap's done from now on, to check for consistency. She should also get the anti-cervical cancer vacine to lessen her risk. Once you have herpes, and you dont take care of yourself to the full extent you can - it CAN and DOES lead to cancers of the cervix etc. This is very important. You both should go see the doctors and talk to him about this, and take action asap.

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Also, yes you most definitly can lead a normal life. Chlamydia is the least dangerous STD you can get. Not saying it isnt bad. But u can get much worse like syphillis - which inevitably rots the brain away. And gonneria (wrong spelling i think) is pretty horrible too. Not to mention HIV/AIDS. U could say you two are very lucky to get away with what u did, having unprotected sex. I know people who got both herpes and chlamydia as well. They get check-ups and are completely fine now. Living normal lives, forgetting they even had it. But i know someone else who got something much much worse. And well, they are not so great at all.

Just please NEVER have unprotected sex again.ever.

Just both be mature and truthful about it, to work through problems this may cause in the relationship - now or further down the track.

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i have just been on the phone to her and i told her that i wud b there for her, i told her that i would take her out so we could forget about the ordeal today, she agreed but nw she has just text saying she wants to go home and chill and get her head around it, i really dnt know what to do about this relationship i do love her, but not sure if i have put too much pressure on myself for it to work, i have been so used to being on my own

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I really hope she comes to,after dealing with it her own way,and u both can go back to a happy relationship like u did before this happened..I really hope evrything works out for u. Its not the end of the world, and you both love each other. So i hope u can work thru it..best of luck to u. keep us posted pls!

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You need to sit down and talk to her.

 

Take a deep breath.

 

 

 

 

Pace yourself.

 

 

 

Are you calm yet? No? Take a few more deep breaths

 

 

 

 

Ok, probably as good as it's gonna get....

 

Now then. You need to talk to her mate. Im not saying text messages. Emails. IMs. Phone conversations. Im saying you meet her up, and have a talk with her - mature and grown up.

 

If she wants to blame you for it and simply can't be with you because she feels you ruined her life, well there's not much you can do. BUT, definitely do let her know that you love her, your there for her, and that she can hate you if she needs to.. you'll still be there lovin her. Oh and also that breaking up with you wont change whats happened.

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Once you have herpes, and you dont take care of yourself to the full extent you can - it CAN and DOES lead to cancers of the cervix etc.

It is definitely a good idea to get Pap smears done to be safe since if you have one STD you may have another too but just for the record, cervical cancer is caused by Human Papilloma Virus, which is a different STD than herpes. HPV comes in several different forms. Some of the forms cause genital warts. Some cause cancer without any other symptoms. That is why the pap smears are so important - because the cancer may be the only symptom.

 

Herpes does not cause cancer. The problem with herpes is that it causes these painful sores. Fortunately there are medications that one can take to make herpes outbreaks less frequent or less severe.

I definitely hope that things get better for you guys soon!

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Herpes sucks, but it's not as bad as everyone thinks. Yes, you always have it, but you don't always have warts and sores. The breakouts come and go. Some people breakout once and then never see it again. It's a virus in your blood stream that just never goes away. I have a girl friend that has it, but has never ever had a break out. You will both be fine. It's never good to have a STD, but it could have been much worse. Just take the proper meds and it will def control it forever. You'll be able to live your life normally and still be happy.

 

I know this b/c I work for a lab and I deal with OBGYNs every day. I deal with herpes, chlamydia, HIV, and tons of other STDs every single day. If you have anymore questions, feel free to ask. I'll help out the best that I can.

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For everyone saying Herpes is what causes cervical cancer. You are wrong. HPV (Human Papilloma (Sp?) Virus) is what can lead to cervical cancer. NOT the Herpes simplex virus. The worst the herpes virus can cause is nasty and uncomfortable sores. Also the Herpes virus is extremely common atleast 80% of the worlds population has the virus or has been exposed and could possibly spread the virus. It isn't the end of the world. Most people have the virus and doesn't even realize what it is (Cold Sores, fever blisters, etc.. All of those are herpes breakouts)

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What To Do If They Cheat - Do this ...
What To Do If They Cheat - Do this First

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