This forum is about GETTING BACK not healing

[phishermanjohn]

so many of the posts here are about healing yourself and moving on, not getting back with your ex.

 

I truly do want my woman back, and think her decision was in haste, but what i read here is about moving on. If i wanted to move on, i would go to that forum, but I really want to try again. if round two doesnt work, then i will go to the next forum.

 

PJ.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Often people shouldn't get back together. They are blinded by the desperation from being broken up with. I give my advice as I see fit.

[greywolf]

Unfortunately, we cannot control our exes. They are human beings with their own minds and make their own choices. Most likely anything you do to try to get them back will only drive them further away. That's why people say to move on. You can't mess up when you're trying to move on.

[Samedy]

It's an open forum, and anyone can give you their advice (as long as it's not offensive). So you are bound to get advice you do not want to hear. You have the choice as to whose advice you follow and whose advice to ignore. In the end, the consequences and rewards are all your responsibility.

 

All we can do is give you our point of views.

[skarlet]

I don't take breaking up lightly either...

 

Why did you guys break up?

 

Maybe things will still work out between you two. Especially if you are persistent about it, which you seem to be.

[DJBaby]

That's the thing: some of the best advice, whether you want to move on or get back together, is to... move on.

[stickman]

so many of the posts here are about healing yourself and moving on, not getting back with your ex.

 

I truly do want my woman back, and think her decision was in haste, but what i read here is about moving on. If i wanted to move on, i would go to that forum, but I really want to try again. if round two doesnt work, then i will go to the next forum.

 

PJ.

 

I certainly appreciate what you are saying. I agree. I don't think you always have to move on. And maybe you don't need to. Why throw something great away because we have problems? Problems are our best teachers. Why not use the problems to make the relationship stronger and learn from them. (For me, I had to work on my fears, appreciate what I have, appreciate the good people in my life, and close the door to the past.) It is also important that we fill our lives with people who bring value to our existence.

 

Look…We all want to read about the magic formula that will transform them in to coming back? But, there are many reasons for the break ups. And they are as varied as the different people involved. The magic formula has only a few key ingredients. The major base ingredient in the magic formula is YOU. All the other ingredients you can’t control. You can’t manipulate/activate them...and why would you want to? The YOU ingredient must be stable. The YOU ingredient can’t be active and volatile.

 

So for now, you have to be your own best friend and companion, and learn to trust yourself, before you will be able to truly reopen yourself backup to them. You will never be happy in a relationship until you are happy within yourself. AND …if you are saying that you are already happy with yourself, then maybe your partner/EX is the one that needs to resolve their own issues. Remember: “ To love is to pay heed to the needs of the person you love.” Sometimes people have to hit absolute rock bottom to get the wake up call to resolve their own problem. We must let go enough to accept they are doing things they want to do and coping in there own way. You are setting them free. They are not dead. But they control themselves…YOU CAN’T.

 

IF, and I mean IF, there is love between both parties, and there has been enough TIME (to learn and improve yourself, for them to resolve their own issues, for them to feel and discover their loss of you, for you to think about what you might have done differently), you MAY be able to make future contact in a non-pressuring way. Because future contact from you to them is always uncertain and it may NOT improve the understanding between you and your ex. Most likely, the contact must come from them to you.

 

(Unless, they lost trust with you, you treated them badly, or you or, you both needed to resolve things on your own. Then I think you really have to make serious changes over a long consistent period of time and prove your worth in actions not words.)

 

I hope this helps.