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Heartbroken, don't know where this is going


user1988
What To Do If They Cheat - Do this ...
What To Do If They Cheat - Do this First

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If any of you guys remember from my previous posts, I posted about having a surgeon boyfriend who is always working for the hospital or his practice. And that's where all the conflict comes from. Because of his work schedule I rarely get to see him, about once a week but for the month of March he's been super busy so I've only seen him once and another time today. I'm a college student with an adequate amount of free time on my hands so naturally I want to spend it with him but he can't and up until now I've been fine. I visit him at his office today to pick up a check for my study abroad trip, he gave me 3k to help me go on this trip and enjoy myself. I was joking around and said if this was a break up check since I haven't seen him for 3 whole weeks (he went out of the country for a week). He was in a rush and told me he would call me, so he does and tells me he was a bit annoyed that I would say something like that to someone who hands me a 3k check. I admit I was inconsiderate so I apologized and we moved on and talked about my trip.

 

Afterwards I received a voicemail from him, it was one of those where the person leaves it without knowing and you can hear what they're doing in the background. Well in the voicemail he was at home when he told me specifically he was headed to another part of town for a meeting. Then I heard a little boy's voice and then a woman having contractions. I had no idea who these people were, I've never met any of his family members. Deep down I always wondered if he lived a double life, I'm suspicious because I was cheated on in the past and lied to. I called him and left him a voicemail. He calls me back and we get into an argument, he said it was his sister and it was none of my f****** business and that i was being extremely inconsiderate and had no right unless he told me about them to go and invade their privacy. He said I crossed the line this time and said if I was scared the way I was then I should just leave. The worse part is I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'll pay for me to get an abortion. How can he say something like that? I know I was wrong to accuse him of such things but if he spent more time letting me into his life I wouldn't be so clueless. I rarely ever even see him, and he complains that I stress him out by saying it's unfair. If you only saw your significant other once a week or even once a month what would you think?

 

He never mentioned breaking up, he left it all up to me. I don't know what he wants. He sent me a text and told me to delete that text because it was an invasion of his sister's privacy. I don't know what to do. I don't know where this relationship is going and how it's going to end up. Today is our 6 months anniversary and it ended up like this.

 

I don't know if what he said tonight is because he's angry but when we mentioned having a baby earlier on he said he would support my decision. Not just abort it.

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This is a relationship? Obviously you are sleeping with him... Sounds like a booty call to me and I think you should run for the hills. Go find a nice guy that wants to find time in his life to spend it with you and not just for some humpy pumpy.

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I would return the money and walk away.

 

Yes his job is important as is your school but you make time to spend with him and he shoudl do the same if he really wants to be with you.

 

He obviously doesn't and shows no respect by cursing at you when all you've asked was some time and an explanation of where he was...

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I accused him of living a double life, I asked him if the child and woman on the phone is his wife and kid. And that's why he's mad.

 

It's not even a booty call when we rarely sleep with each other. When we see each other we talk and it's great but lately he's been working so hard (he just worked on a 31 hr trauma case) and everything bugs him.

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I accused him of living a double life, I asked him if the child and woman on the phone is his wife and kid. And that's why he's mad.

 

It's not even a booty call when we rarely sleep with each other. When we see each other we talk and it's great but lately he's been working so hard (he just worked on a 31 hr trauma case) and everything bugs him.

 

Something I have learned is that sometimes guys are very defensive (especially when they are aware that they did something wrong) I guess that could go for most people but when it comes to a relationship I think generally guys are the more sensitive ones when it comes to being right or wrong at least that's how they think. See... for instance, if a girl accuses a man for doing something his mindset is "I didn't do that, how can she be so selfish" when all the girl is trying to say is she's hurt and she wants to understand what's going on or rather she wants him to understand how she feels.

 

I'm not sure why he would react like that though - I mean, are you guys not that serious? (I mean, a 3K check... I know he's a surgeon and all but that's a lot of cash to just throw at a casual fling) I only ask because why would he emphasize so much on his "sister's privacy"?

 

Sounds like you'd be financially set with this guy - but emotionally would you be satisfied? You guys only see each other once and a while - for me, I can't even stand the thought of not sleeping next to my boyfriend at night. ..but it might be different for everyone. You just gotta decide what you want, and if he can't accommodate what you need, then it's your choice to leave or stay.

 

Just don't forget, you're young and you deserve to find someone who are willing to devote their self to you. You don't need a man to be financially secure.

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I asked him if he was serious and his reply was if he wasn't serious then this is too much work. I again asked him if our relationship was important to him and he said yes and said he loves me. But I just find that he never puts himself in my shoes, he just knows how to say how inconsiderate I am or how I'm making him feel guilty for not spending time with me. I feel like I've been patient with him up until now, he really wore down my patience. I've never requested anything from him whether emotionally or physically. All I've asked for was to spend more than one day a week with him but I can't even get that. Am I satisfied at all? No, because I see other couples with each other hanging out and laughing and there I am alone left to watch and yearn for that same closeness. There's no difference between me and a single girl besides the fact that once in a while I get a bit of emotional satisfaction. I'm just so hurt that he can say something like that to me when he's the one that hasn't let me into his life, how am I not supposed to get suspicious.

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