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Best way to tell her off?


winchester3
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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I got dumped a month ago or so (2 years). The week after i got dumped it was valentines day, i went out to a bar with some friends. I was just trying to have a good time. This friend of a friend whom i've met a few times before was really coming on to me. We were both drunk and i let her make out with me. Later that night i shared a bed with her, told her i wanted nothing but a good night sleep. Since then i've accidently led her on. Anytime we've hung out it's been with a group of friends. I just moved back home so this group of friends is really nice to hang out with.

 

Last night we went out for some icecream, i let her pay for me. Then i stayed late at her house and instead of driving home tired we slept together again. Didnt do anything except sleep, but i let her hold my hand. Man i feel like a jerk for leading her on. In the morning we went to buy some blueberrys so her roommate could make some blueberry pancakes. I let her hold my hand while we were out shopping. She's fun to hang out with, to me she's more like one of the guys. I need to tell her that i dont want to be anything but friends. She's the kind of girl thats been known to hook up with drunken strangers, so hopefuly she'll be ok with me not wanting to hook up with her. I just dont want it to be awekward between us after because i really like hanging out with that group of friends. Any suggestions?

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Tell her you just got out of a long term relationship, and realized it is too soon for anything, and that you are sorry.

 

I don't think it would be a good idea to hang out with her any time soon, since she obviously has feelings for you. So just tell her that, and keep a distance from her for awhile.

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How did you accidently lead her on?

 

Are you saying that you accidently slept with her, also?

 

I didnt stop her from making out with me at that bar. Figured it would be nicer to share a bed then sleep on a floor. Anytime she'd go to grab my hand i'd let her hold it, wouldnt pull my hand away or anything.

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The way I see it, you got two options.

 

1) Tell her straight up that you feel you've been leading her on and you only want to be friends. There is no way to avoid her feeling unhappy and things being uncomfortable between you as guess what... she thinks you are going to be her next boyfriend cause that is how you are acting...

 

2) Get over yourself and let yourself go for her. You are already part way there... You keep putting yourself in these situations with her, stop holding back and just go for it.

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2) Get over yourself and let yourself go for her. You are already part way there... You keep putting yourself in these situations with her, stop holding back and just go for it.

 

I was thinking that, but i have this grade school crush on this other girl at work. Where i actually feel somthing towards her. I'd rather try somthing with this other girl first.

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Tell her you just got out of a long term relationship, and realized it is too soon for anything, and that you are sorry.

 

I don't think it would be a good idea to hang out with her any time soon, since she obviously has feelings for you. So just tell her that, and keep a distance from her for awhile.

 

i agree, since you just got out of a long term relationship and the wounds are too fresh, i would tell her that you aren't ready to start anything up and just need some time to heal. i agree that you should keep your distance from her for a while so she can get over you.

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I think the way that will have the least impact is just telling her that i like her and all, it's just that i'm not ready yet for a relationship. Then apologize for leading her on and i hope that we can remain friends. My friend D happens to be best friend with the above mentioned girl. I should run some of this by D for her input, see what she thinks would be better.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Well i wussed out at telling her off so i went with the second option, give her a chance. I'm still not really feeling it with her. To say somthing, she makes me hard but theres no feeling along with that. I need to let her know that i just want to be friends with her. I've tried the subtle technique of being a d*ck but it hasent really worked.

 

Man, what i'm worried about is it's her birthday next thursday. I hadent planned on getting her a gift, but i did say that i'd go to the bar and get ripped with her and her friends. When i'm drunk my morals and self restraints all go to sh*t and she wont care what she does anyways. I dont want to end up having sex with her. I'm not very good at talking about relationship stuff one on one with the person, i usually crack and look for the fastest way out. Then forget 80% of what ever it is i wanted to talk about. I either have to man up and talk to her about it or keep trying to dodge these situations and waite it out until she goes away for a few months this summer.

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if you sleep with her, you will be a very bad man .. avoid it.

tell her the truth ... that you just don't have feelings for her but you tried .. if you give her the "i'm not ready for a relationship", trust me she will wait for you and agonize and analyze and try to figure out when you will be ready ..

if you tell her that you just don't like her and sorry but you can't like everyone, it will sting for awhile but will help her move on.

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if you give her the "i'm not ready for a relationship", trust me she will wait for you and agonize and analyze and try to figure out when you will be ready ..

 

^^^^ I hope not.

 

I got to her house after work and we watch a movie. Her roommate asks me if i still want to hang out with them because of the thing we sort of had. I guess she already expected it. I'm not good at all about talking about feelings. Unless i'm really comfortable with the person, i just sit there and freeze. No words come out, i dont know why. Anyways her roommate and her bf go into their room and give us some time to talk. I tell her that i'm not good when it comes to talking about relationship stuff. We talk for 40 mins or so then i finally just said it "I like you and all, but i cant have a relationship right now". She said, I understand. I kind of figured that when you said "we need to talk" all serious like. She told me "I was just waiting to see what was going to happen" and that she wanted me to bring it up.

 

I'm pretty sure i'm in the clear, still going to her birthday next week. Should be a fun time.

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