Should I consider moving out?

[Striker17]

I'm 19, and my younger brother who's now 18 has already moved out. He was only 17 at the time. The reason he moved out, and the reason that I'm considering it are basically the same: My father. He's always yelling and screaming at anyone who disagrees with him, and he's also refuses to compromise on the littlest of things.

 

For example, we usually have a family dinner with my grandparents every Friday. Even my brother who's moved out comes. Anyway, one of my mother's friends invited her and my father over for dinner this coming Friday, and so my mom suggested that we have the family dinner on Sunday instead. My youngest brother, who still lives at home, wouldn't have been able to come on Friday anyway because he has a sweet sixteen party to go to, and I would appreciate being able to go out with my friends instead.

 

My father disagreed claiming that he knows that my mom won't want to cook dinner on Sunday (We hire someone to cook our meals during the week). My mom says that she'd have no problem doing it, and my youngest brother even offered to help. My father then said that he doesn't believe her, and that he knows that she'll "end up buying a * * * * ty meal at the last minute."

 

I came to my mother's defense, and said that if she's fine with cooking on Sunday, then it really won't be a problem. Everyone else prefers to have the family meal on Sunday anyway, and it doesn't affect his schedule at all, so we should be able to do it. He's insistent on having on Friday as usual. My mom often has trouble voicing her opinion with him, so I tell my dad that she wants to have the family dinner on Sunday, and to go to her friend's for dinner on Friday. My father then starts yelling at us, telling me that my mom "doesn't know what she wants."

 

My father is constantly fighting and yelling with everyone. Whether it's with my mom over the dumbest little thing. With me because I'm "disrespecting" him (It's usually over me voicing my opinion on a subject which he's totally in the wrong over). Or with my brother because he doesn't feel the need to excel in school on the subjects that he has no interest in (Although he still does maintain a good grade. Enough of one that he'll have no problem getting into his first choice university).

 

Living at home is extremely frustrating, and especially with a huge portion of my friends from University living alone already. Moving out is becoming very tempting.

 

The one thing that's really holding me back is that I know my mom wouldn't take it well. She's always arguing with my father, and I often have to come to her defense because she's almost always in the right, but she doesn't have the heart to talk back to him when he's yelling at her. The fact that I'm living at home is a huge comfort to her. She cried for almost a week when my little brother first moved out, and I know that she'd probably do the same with me.

 

I just don't know what to do. It would be one thing if I went out of town for school, but it's a 30 minute commute every day, which really isn't bad. And I find it hard to justify moving out over it. I mean, my parents would probably pay for it, and my father has plenty of money, so that's not really a problem. But my parents raised me as very money conscious even though we had plenty, I always feel guilty when I let them spoil me in any way.

 

I know that I'll probably have to come up with the answer on my own. I just really felt the need to vent. Feel free to voice your opinions though.

[sarahbeth1990]

Oh wow. I feel the same way but its about my mother.

 

I want to move out of my house so bad. I'm 18 almost 19 years old and she fights with me over EVERYTHING. I can't stand the way she acts sometimes.

 

The most important thing you need to do is think about if you can have enough money to move out on your own. Its very expensive and thats the only reason why I haven't moved out yet.

 

My parents freak out over the littlest things and I can't take it anymore. My parents have restricted me from doing anything at all. They made me stop seeing my boyfriend and I cant hang out with friends.

 

My parents are always fighting with either each other or me. They say that I'm a "loser" but I'm pretty sure I'll have a higher paying job than they do in the future.

 

Just think about your options. Does anyone you know want to get an apartment? Maybe you can share rent and living expenses.

 

I hope all goes well for you.